Today, I made up an ingenious plan to finally hook up with the guy I really like at a party. Well, the plan itself worked great. Too bad I got so drunk that I used it on the wrong person. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML
Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML
Today, I finally made a move on the guy I've been crushing on for years… by getting so drunk that I puked in his lap. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML
Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML
Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We then decided to come home, planning an intimate moment. Once home, I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I'd fallen asleep right before we'd even started. FML
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Top comments
DaMann360 19
That's not always a bad thing. Maybe the person you meant to do it on was a total douchebag and the person you actually did it on is a great guy.
tinycroc 10
Too bad you thought that hooking up at a party is a good way to get the guy you like. Remember when dating came before sex?
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Comments (57)
XBurytheCastleX 25
I hope you are on birth control. If not, you deserve either the STD or the kid you get stuck with.
R3TROxLOV3 32
Why didn't you just tell him that you want to hook up? That's what I do, and it works about 90% of the time. It's much easier than coming up with some convoluted, time-consuming plan that may or may not end in success.
jkmhawk 2
and its also less rapey
helloneal 5
Just what I was thinking. What kind of a girl needs an ingenious plan to hook up? Just ask him. If he says yes, great. If he says no, then it never would have happened. Also, imo it's less slutty to just be straightforward about sex with a guy you like than to accidentally bang the wrong guy.
hazardoussmiles9 22
Am I the only one who's really curious about what the plan was?
rocker_chick23 27
You're not the only one curious to know what the plan was. Maybe it involved OP getting the guy drunk, who knows?
doctorhook86 25
#23: I wanna know too, but I suspect the truth is pretty sad.
tranced_ 45
I guess you enjoyed the weekend..
captainsmegma 12
Next time just get one of those name tags that says "HI I'm" then fill out your name and this phrase I'm here to **** so and so. Please make sure this happens.
FunGhoost 10
At least it worked, try again next time Practice makes perfect
Chibi_Kitten 24
Was getting drunk part of the plan of an unplanned incident? Either way, you shouldn't try to hook up when your drunk. Not even for a one night stand. Unless you like the thrill of having an unexpected stranger in bed the next day.
TiedToReality 8
This is why you don't drink =.=
nitrog100 21
You deserve it for essentially attempting to rape a man you're interested in.
Helvanica 22
Alcohol. YDI