By tw@ - 28/09/2014 15:30 - United Kingdom - Watford

Spicy
Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML
I agree, your life sucks 56 697
You deserved it 4 865
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Top comments

flufee2 27

Lets hope he's a totally different guy when he's sober...

329 2

Comments

sevazilla 21

**** your life

cjwayy 22

What an original, well thought out comment.

126 12
TheNoobySpartan 13

If only there was a button that would save us all the effort of typing that out.

134 8
santosb1 11

OP should of recorded it, so he could laugh at it later.

28 7
incoherentrmblr 21

Love the GTA reference for the header...

2 23
IvyOswin 17

at least the idiot came home to his wife. He may have humped a body pillow thinking it was his wife, but that's infinitely better than ******* around somewhere else.

270 5
Glockoma 3

It could have been a one time thing. or maybe he's just a moron

78 3
doodlecloud 26

Yeah but he did also **** 'her' without her moving, speaking, or generally giving any signs of consent/enjoyment/consciousness. I mean, I guess in a usually happy relationship a lack of pushing someone away counts as consent - but a lack of any reaction at all and he still carries on? Am I the only one who finds that a bit weird?

82 18
DraconicFeline 31

38, if the guy was drunk enough to think a body pillow looked like his wife, do you really think he would notice the lack of movement?

156 4
incoherentrmblr 21

Wouldn't they notice the lack of bones too?...

24 1
Pauline96_fml 20

Actually he was humping the pillow not f**king the pillow

5 0
HarrisonX 25

Why do you guys think that the husband thinks the pillow is the wife? The post states that he's angry at the fact she's not home so he most likely knew the pillow was not the wife.

0 10
whitetiger13131 26

93- not that she hasn't come home yet, that she hasn't *come* yet.

5 0
flufee2 27

Lets hope he's a totally different guy when he's sober...

329 2
Lanker 17

If not, OP and the husband need some counseling.

32 5
tigerisabelle 31

Agreed. There's something wrong with that man, and they say drunk actions are sober thoughts. OP, I think you need to have a talk with this dumbass of a husband you've got.

27 6
LisaDay 14

if drunk actions are sober thoughts, sounds like he just wants more sex wth her.

25 4
mip_92 29

Wow... I have no words for this... I would definitely talk to your husband once he is sober and find out what the hell he was thinking.

100 6
headofmedusa 15

Drunk words are sober thoughts. Looks like he needs to lay off the liquor.

85 10
LuckBeNimble 19

so he usually enjoys making his wife come? sounds like a good thought to have...

6 0
SMHsohard 22

The question is, what's the percentage of drunk to sober? It sounds like this is maybe usual behavior, in which case OP has some serious decisions to make; either with her husband if he can acknowledge that he has a problem, or on her own if he won't.

49 6
therealjc_fml 14

Story pails in comparison to your username op..... good work:)!

4 19
laden_swallow09 34

You mean *pales? Sorry. Genuinely confused.

18 2
Maccaroney 11

The username is tw@ aka, twat.

1 3