By cduran2011 - 14/10/2011 15:23 - United States

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 569
You deserved it 12 372

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Midrash 5

Dude..stick to hand lotion. No need to reinvent the wheel


enonymous 8

Hot wax on my penis makes me moan and scream

I guess OP isn't into that sorta stuff...

Not as bad as bad as getting penis in your wax.

What if it hardened before he got it off 0__0

13FTW 9

19, then it might not be the only thing hard...

How could your dick be hard if that hot shit is on it.. >__>

13FTW 9

Works for enonymous, why not try it yourself!

enonymous 8

28 To be fair I'm not sure he's old enough for that to happen yet.. I also put out my cigars on my penis and bench press with it. I'm up to a bic pen and 4 paper clips each side

nater535 7

32, how many **** push-ups can you do?

13FTW 9

Enonymous, what about a pack of trident layers?! If you've got them in your legit candy van you have to be able to **** press a trident layers pack. Nuff' said.

enonymous 8

1 1/2 Jack Black is ******* jealous

enonymous 8

**** pressing Trident layers requires I fight the urge to not put it in my mouth... And I'm not that flexible yet.. Working on it as I type

13FTW 9

Does your priest help you with the flexibility? Haha, im out of jokes about your info.. Dammit!

enonymous 8

44 he only helps me with choir practice he said I can hit the higher notes if he puts an ice cube up my ass... Last time it was more warm and soft

All this talk about ice cubes and hot wax is kinda turning me on...

Andr913 13

Did anyone else immediately think of Haunted by Chuck Palahnuik?

I don't think a little girl would has a penis

Sounds like a shitty situation. /overused joke

So overused you have to label you comment with it, meaning you shouldn't be using it

enonymous 8

True Fact: you used (sunglasses) an over used shitty pun

HowAreYouToday 34

Your obviously cool #102 since your the "cod god" and all.. Tell me.. How's it feel being best friends with thousands of 12 year olds and still having no one to hang out with you..

And you didn't pull your pants up before you blew the candle out because why again?

4- Then he wouldn't have been able to share this story with us! D:

sierralovesyou 0

His dick is so small he thought there was a really low probability of wax falling on it.

Midrash 5

Dude..stick to hand lotion. No need to reinvent the wheel

And live on the edge you do. You are truly an example to follow, sticking to your word.

"Don't call me dude! A dude is somebody who works on a ranch!" - an angry officer.

CyonideCyns 0

This is why you light a match. A MATCH!

Randy84 10

Or possibly invest in a can of air freshener

Then he would burn his junk with the match

RedPillSucks 31

A match and a can of flammable air freshener would be the best way to go.

Getting rid of the stench and shaving yourself at the same time, nice work.

Is what you're going to say in a few years when you look back on your FML profile.

11- it probably wouldn't shock anyone that I hate you so much.

12vballchick12 5

Does it really matter what he looks like? (The answer is no, if you couldn't figure it out)