Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
MyHeadHurts
Ireland 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Take it easy on yourself
Today, I came back home from a holiday with family. Finally being on my own, I did some catching up on my masturbation. I have jerked off so much and/or so vigorously, I now have a carpet burn on my penis. FML
Lonely
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML
Colton
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Rubbing it in
Today, since splitting up with my girlfriend, I’ve watched so much porn I think I’ve given myself a friction burn on my clit, so now not only does it hurt to even walk normally, it’s way too painful to masturbate, so I’m now horny all the frigging time. FML
exhausted without relief
🌶️ Spicy
Bang one out
Today, I’ve been so stressed out lately about my health and mounting bills that my insomnia has returned with vengeance. I thought I’d masturbate to help get some relief, but turns out I’m too tired to even do the deed. Too exhausted to release, but my brain still won’t let me sleep. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Can't be bothered
Today, I realised just how lazy I am when I was about to masturbate, but decided not to because I didn't want to put in the effort. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML
RyanM
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML
testacular
Plymouth, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Bad ********
Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML
Top comments
Tadeusz_fml 5
Get a hobby. Get help. Go do it now. Also, how did you sunburn your area or the palm of your hands?
DalPozzo13 10
Get a girlfriend, that will solve your problem
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Comments (209)
rattusrattus 19
More details! And what kind of life do you have if all you can do is wank and wank and wank some more?
bryan1992 0
try getting a life?
midget2005 0
you obviously had something to do yesterday if you got sun burned.. so just do it again..
perdix 31
Maybe you should get those cupcakes out of the refrigerator. A normal person would eat them, but you might find it both pleasurable and soothing to **** them.
murphyisreal 0
i did't know Foul Bachelor Frog had an FML
urdirtyolduncle 15
Is it possible for a male to ********** if he's been circumcised?
wilsonchewy 0
yes you dumb ****
FarmerTylerE 0
nope! it's illegal in 48 states and is considered to be a federal offense, and punishment can range from 10-25 years in a maximum security prison. once in prison you won't have to worry about masturbating yourself, youll be too busy doing it for other guys. #Sucks4u #FYL
crystian 7
Yea it's called lotion
jdengel 0
something tells me your life sucked before you got sunburnt
PurpleWaffles 2
Get friends. Get a life.
Peacewind 0
This is gunna sound lame, but buy World of Warcrack and get addicted. You're parts will never need satisfying again.
dnljcbsn 0
wow what a thing to tell the world why don't u just kill your self retard