By workworkwork Today, at the winery, my boss proudly made a spectacle of the new, high quality bottles. After over a year of employment without breaking a bottle, I shattered 3 before lunch. FML I agree, your life sucks 3432 You deserved it 413 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NYCguy - United States Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML I agree, your life sucks 43551 You deserved it 15703 378 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/8/2020 02:02 Morbid cringe Today, I realized just how pathetic my life is when I found myself fascinated by videos that a woman posts on YouTube of her removing ingrown hairs and zits from people’s private areas. FML I agree, your life sucks 898 You deserved it 280 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 7/1/2021 11:01 Deception Today, I found out that my husband, who was supposed to be in PA school, dropped out 6 and a half years ago and never even received his bachelor's. He started lying to me before we were even a year into dating. FML I agree, your life sucks 935 You deserved it 128 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By facepalm - Singapore Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 66520 You deserved it 15105 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hypercrite dad - United Kingdom Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML I agree, your life sucks 40010 You deserved it 15494 178 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By no I've never asked for anal - United States - Buffalo Today, after weeks of my girlfriend constantly mentioning pegging and asking me to let her do it, I caved and figured I might as well stand by my "try anything once" rule. Her response? Saying she knew I was gay all along and dumping me. The fuck? FML I agree, your life sucks 30578 You deserved it 3700 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By GrippedMyBalls - Korea Republic of Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML I agree, your life sucks 49244 You deserved it 9008 173 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By skipperpop - United States - Ames Today, after work, I was saying goodbye to my last remaining friend I worked with because she was going to be leaving for college. My manager saw me talking and made me clock back in and work because "If you have time to talk, you have time to work." FML. I agree, your life sucks 14524 You deserved it 1227 41 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Thisismylife - Canada Today, I had pizza for lunch. Later, I passed out in front of a customer. Now I get to explain to my boss that I fainted on the job because of heartburn. FML I agree, your life sucks 26119 You deserved it 4281 47 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nograd4mee - Germany Today, I held a presentation about my masters thesis. Turns out, my professor never ever actually read the drafts I'd given him, but decided to rip me to pieces in front of everyone, saying that the topic isn't worth researching. I've been working on it for six months. FML I agree, your life sucks 37054 You deserved it 2703 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Steve - United States Today, I woke up with my girl laying next to me in bed. When she woke up we started to get hot and heavy but all of a sudden our cat hops on the bed. I guess the cat was more important cause my girl got up started playing it instead of me. Cockblocked by another pussy. FML I agree, your life sucks 58764 You deserved it 8735 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Randy - United States Today, I got home from work to find my wife asleep in her easy chair with my two year old son asleep in a pile of torn-up paper. I soon found out it was my 1960s collection of a Superman comic book series that I inherited from my dad. It was worth well over $2,000. FML I agree, your life sucks 43745 You deserved it 5141 223 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lucky - United States Today, I recieved a phone call from a cruise line I had travelled on with my parents a year ago. After being told I had won a free $2,000 cruise from a sweepstakes I had entered while on the cruise. After celebrating loudly they informed me that you have to be 23 or older to collect it. I'm 17. FML I agree, your life sucks 45093 You deserved it 6158 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ouch - United States Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML I agree, your life sucks 61031 You deserved it 4747 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jemstuff - United States Today, at work, I stopped in my boss/boyfriend's office to find him getting intimate with a girl. He then tells me that he is cheating on me, that he is dumping me, and that I am fired. Oh, and he is keeping the cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 43016 You deserved it 6555 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ThatsNotRight - United States Today, I put on my favorite booty shorts and walked outside to smoke a cigarette. My dog had chewed a hole in the middle of my shorts, and I was standing on a balcony that's located on the busiest street in town. FML I agree, your life sucks 8855 You deserved it 30926 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lalala_hahaha - France Today, I had some girlfriends over, while my parents were having a party at our house. My drunken dad decided to come down to the basement and show us all his third nipple. FML I agree, your life sucks 29813 You deserved it 3043 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Scumbagmemory - United States Today, I was texting a guy that one of my friends told me about. She gave me his number and told me about how he was deaf. Three hours into great conversation I forgot and asked him what his favorite music was. FML I agree, your life sucks 29296 You deserved it 11635 210 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I held my cousin's new baby, whom I have nicknamed Canteloupe Head. He then reenacted the Exorcist by projectile vomiting all over my lap and shirt. His mom is a firm believer in karma. FML I agree, your life sucks 10028 You deserved it 35295 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By radiantum13 Today, I got yelled at by my supervisor for getting an hour of overtime yesterday. The reason I had an hour of overtime was because that same supervisor made me stay late. FML I agree, your life sucks 14966 You deserved it 1043 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NaomiMadison - United States Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML I agree, your life sucks 39980 You deserved it 3121 176 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By UN4 - United States Today, one of my students tried to bribe me $200 to change his grade. When I said no and told him he was lucky I didn't report him, he went to the dean and told him I offered to change his grade for money. I'm now suspended and under investigation. FML I agree, your life sucks 39295 You deserved it 3388 131 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sal - United States - Rexburg Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML I agree, your life sucks 54644 You deserved it 3997 201 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notcountry! Today, even though my mom’s only ever been to the south once, she’s completely obsessed with talking with a bad, overly exaggerated southern accent. Not to mention constantly prattling off random nonsensical country phrases. We’re from and still live in California, nowhere near any country. FML I agree, your life sucks 1555 You deserved it 150 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By johnnydoe6969 - United States Today, I went camping and shared a tent with this girl I have been sleeping with here and there for a year. To impress her, I popped a certain male enhancement supplement. Thirty minutes later I found out she was on her period. What a long night. FML I agree, your life sucks 13711 You deserved it 45897 233 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML I agree, your life sucks 41165 You deserved it 3244 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML I agree, your life sucks 33246 You deserved it 4333 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Evansville Today, I met my husband's family for the first time. My nightmare versions were better. FML I agree, your life sucks 27645 You deserved it 2901 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ashleighsheba - United States - La Vergne Today, I got pulled over, not because I was speeding but because apparently, I looked like a kid driving. The officer said I was too short to drive and needed a booster seat. FML I agree, your life sucks 12120 You deserved it 1133 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bloop - United States - Ayer Today, my girlfriend changed our cable subscription to include MTV. This made us lose the only channel I care about: HBO. Goodbye Game of Thrones, hello Teen Mom. FML I agree, your life sucks 16255 You deserved it 1235 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username Today, I found the birthday card my grandma had mailed. Apparently, it contained a gift of $100. Too bad it was in my mom's trash can, opened, with no money. She told my grandma it must have gotten lost in the mail. FML I agree, your life sucks 40455 You deserved it 2456 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Daytona Beach Today, a guy called customer support, claiming his internet wasn't working. I asked for his customer details, and he gave his name as Mike Hunt. I recognized the old joke, called him an idiot, and hung up on him. It turned out that was his real name. I'm now on suspension. FML I agree, your life sucks 28686 You deserved it 36017 97 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By worried - United Kingdom Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML I agree, your life sucks 17661 You deserved it 55157 248 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 8/5/2020 23:00 Candid camera Today, I prominently touched my boobs and put my hand inside my shirt to adjust my bra… all while I had my camera on during a Zoom meeting with the whole department FML I agree, your life sucks 640 You deserved it 1544 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fcnk - United States Today, I took home my grandpa's ashes. I then went out with my grandma, leaving my 5-year-old at home with my 12-year-old. When I got home, my beaming 5-year-old opened the door, covered in white powder. My grandmother asked where all the powder had come from. She pointed to the empty ashbox. FML I agree, your life sucks 49159 You deserved it 17978 261 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I got banned from my boyfriend's house for being an "insurance liability." FML I agree, your life sucks 22982 You deserved it 4281 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By EdgardoP - United States - Allentown Today, I got a cramp while swimming. It took the lifeguard 5 minutes to stop flirting with a girl before trying to help me. FML I agree, your life sucks 29215 You deserved it 3518 171 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Paramus Today, I got married. My husband and I had been waiting until marriage to have sex, and when the time came, we started to undress. As I took my bra off, his eyes glazed over, and he fainted. An hour later, all he could say was, "I don't think we're meant to be together." FML I agree, your life sucks 72005 You deserved it 9508 263 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Sweden - Lidk?ping Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML I agree, your life sucks 46299 You deserved it 13660 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I caught up with a good friend and he let me rant about my sexless marriage. He was really understanding and supportive. I got home and he sent... I agree, your life sucks 631 You deserved it 136 4 Comments
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much... I agree, your life sucks 847 You deserved it 179 8 Comments