To-Do List Blues By FML Approved - 08/10/2017 21:00 So much to do, so little desire... I agree, your life sucks 440 You deserved it 106 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was having sexy time with my girlfriend when she said she needed to pee. She came back 5 minutes later and started talking about how she hasn't seen her best friend in ages and misses her. Needless to say, I couldn't get the man downstairs back up when we continued. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 073 You deserved it 183
Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 196 623 You deserved it 34 712
Today, my date mugged me, just minutes after I paid our bill at the restaurant. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 579 You deserved it 2 958
Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML I agree, your life sucks 34 451 You deserved it 3 766
Today, I started my job at a kids summer camp. The first little girl to arrive told me to close my eyes and open my hand because she had a "surprise" for me. Yep, a dead, decomposed sparrow covered in all sorts of bugs sure is a surprise. FML I agree, your life sucks 46 690 You deserved it 5 673
Today, my parents yelled at me for ordering too much fast food. The only reason I’m doing it is because there isn’t any food in the house. Not only that but I’m also trying to gain weight. FML I agree, your life sucks 820 You deserved it 186
Today, I saw a light switch on in the hallway at school, so I tried turning it off. That was the light switch for the entire second floor. So many people saw, I turned it back on and ran away. FML I agree, your life sucks 309 You deserved it 904
Today, I come home to find that my dog has taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He also took a dump in my house shoe. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 549 You deserved it 4 899