To-Do List Blues By FML Approved - 08/10/2017 21:00 So much to do, so little desire... I agree, your life sucks 441 You deserved it 107 Share Tweet Share
Today, my parents had me pet-sitting their cats again, since they were going to be gone all day. I noticed their oven was on and wanted to turn it off, but when I do they always yell at me because they "had plans for dinner." This time however, they yelled at me for NOT turning it off, because they'd already ate. FML I agree, your life sucks 427 You deserved it 93
Today, there was a fire alarm in my dorm. Just as I was leaving my room, a lady in the hallway told me that it was a drill and they'd be inspecting rooms, so I would need to leave my door unlocked. When I came back, my room was trashed and my laptop, speakers, and jewelry were gone. FML I agree, your life sucks 41 669 You deserved it 16 919
Today, I realized just how awful my relationships have been when I discovered I emotionally connect with women on Jerry Springer. FML I agree, your life sucks 21 960 You deserved it 5 758
Today, I picked up a hitchhiker. He was well dressed, and seemed trustworthy. As soon as he got in, he pulled out a gun and stole my wallet and car. All of this occurred in front of a sign warning against picking up hitchhikers. FML I agree, your life sucks 12 976 You deserved it 86 111
Today, I was leaving work after a storm. They're building some new offices outside, so I had to walk on an uneven path near the construction zone. I came to a big puddle and tried to jump across to what I thought was a piece of asphalt. It was mud. I slipped and fell backwards into the puddle. FML I agree, your life sucks 4 233 You deserved it 783
Today, my girlfriend of five months told me that she had booked us reservations to our town's Halloween barbecue party. When I reminded her that I'm vegan, she told me she specifically got the reservations to help me to quit my "stupid fad". Weird, I never knew being a devout Hindu was a fad. FML I agree, your life sucks 15 297 You deserved it 2 405
Today, I had my first day off in six months. My mother immediately came down to my room and demanded that I clean the entire house. As I was cleaning, she said, "You don’t get to relax. Ever. Lazy ass." FML I agree, your life sucks 1 539 You deserved it 112
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded with, "That's nice. You know what I love? Chicken wings. Let's go get some." Apparently, he doesn't remember I'm a vegetarian either. FML I agree, your life sucks 45 857 You deserved it 8 892