To-Do List Blues By FML Approved - 08/10/2017 21:00 So much to do, so little desire... I agree, your life sucks 441 You deserved it 110 Share Tweet Share
Today, I went to my friend's house to celebrate her birthday but 3 of them ganged up on me and molested my arse cheeks. Later, someone found a wooden plank and spanked me hard. There was also a BB gun and my arse was the target. I have been a social outcast all my life, and these are my only friends, but I'm always hit. FML I agree, your life sucks 530 You deserved it 114
Today, I noticed a young child wandering out onto a busy street. I managed to grab his arm just as he stepped off the sidewalk and yank him away from almost certain death. My reward was his mother, who was on her cell phone the whole time, screaming at me for touching her child. FML I agree, your life sucks 38 215 You deserved it 2 530
Today, I bought a UV light so I could detect cat pee, since I was sure my cat was relieving herself on the carpet. I decided to try it out in the living room first. Nearly half the room lit up like a Christmas tree. FML I agree, your life sucks 36 100 You deserved it 5 193
Today, my boyfriend went down on me with whiskey in his mouth. It felt like my genitals were on fire. FML I agree, your life sucks 30 905 You deserved it 6 943
Today, I searched my ex-boyfriend on Facebook while my husband slept. He recently got engaged. I regret everything. FML I agree, your life sucks 251 You deserved it 1 894
Today, after getting home from work late last night and feeling lazy, I'd put my leftover dinner in the microwave, spoon and all. I wake up to find one of the kids started the microwave and it blew up because of the metal spoon. FML I agree, your life sucks 707 You deserved it 2 678
Today, my boyfriend came home from college for the first time in weeks just to visit me. I was so excited that I spent two hours getting ready. Turns out he was only coming back to dump me. Now I'm single and out of foundation. FML I agree, your life sucks 41 947 You deserved it 4 443
Today, I live in a studio and I can hear really weird noises coming from my neighbours, my walls, my floor and even inside, without knowing what did fall/scratch/move. I seriously wonder if someone lives hidden in the walls. I don't know if I should call the cops, a psychiatrist or an exorcist. FML I agree, your life sucks 829 You deserved it 110