To-Do List Blues By FML Approved - 09/10/2017 03:00 So much to do, so little desire... I agree, your life sucks 444 You deserved it 112 Share Tweet Share
Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML I agree, your life sucks 568 528 You deserved it 40 621
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML I agree, your life sucks 603 You deserved it 128
Today, is the start of the third month that I prayed I would be fired, just so I didn't have to quit because I hate awkward conversations. FML I agree, your life sucks 28 910 You deserved it 8 640
Today, my friend's van ran out of gas on an expressway off-ramp. After pushing it to the shoulder, we walked to a gas station and got a can of gas. We got back to the van to find that the battery had died from leaving on the lights and hazards to avoid an accident. FML I agree, your life sucks 25 720 You deserved it 7 681
Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML I agree, your life sucks 3 803 You deserved it 308
Today, a girl that I've been falling for told me that she's married. But not to worry, that "won't get in the way of 'us'." FML I agree, your life sucks 1 784 You deserved it 161
Today, I shat myself in the middle of Walmart. It dripped out the bottom of my pants till i made it to the restroom, which was on the other side of the store. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 153 You deserved it 271
Today, I took my driver's test, whereby I forgot everything, panicked, and closed my eyes while yelling, "Jesus take the wheel!" FML I agree, your life sucks 133 You deserved it 841