To-Do List Blues By FML Approved - 08/10/2017 21:00 So much to do, so little desire... I agree, your life sucks 444 You deserved it 110 Share Tweet Share
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML I agree, your life sucks 43 091 You deserved it 6 102
Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML I agree, your life sucks 15 869 You deserved it 47 691
Today, I had to bribe my cousin with Monster Energy Drinks and Halo 5 so he wouldn't tell my mom I snuck out to meet a boy. I'm 24. FML I agree, your life sucks 22 386 You deserved it 8 546
Today, at work, we had an extremely rude customer who started cussing at us, and my coworker started cussing back. I jumped on the register to quickly bring down the line, and apologized to everyone for the scene. A secret shopper was in the line and claimed that I was rude. I got written up. FML I agree, your life sucks 29 930 You deserved it 2 482
Today, I hooked up with a guy on Tinder, but halfway through sex, his wife came home. As I stumbled back into my own house, I realised with my new lingerie and two lots of taxi fares, I’d spent £170 and all it got me was one glass of wine, one mouthful of cum, and a black eye from his wife. FML I agree, your life sucks 757 You deserved it 1 728
Today, I'm in Ibiza. My period came early and had nothing but face masks to use as sanitary towels. Then, the closest thing to period knickers I could find was in a souvenir shop, which on the arse reads, "What happens in Ibiza belongs in Ibiza." FML I agree, your life sucks 977 You deserved it 329