Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
MyHeadHurts
Ireland 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Take it easy on yourself
Today, I came back home from a holiday with family. Finally being on my own, I did some catching up on my masturbation. I have jerked off so much and/or so vigorously, I now have a carpet burn on my penis. FML
Lonely
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML
Colton
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Rubbing it in
Today, since splitting up with my girlfriend, I’ve watched so much porn I think I’ve given myself a friction burn on my clit, so now not only does it hurt to even walk normally, it’s way too painful to masturbate, so I’m now horny all the frigging time. FML
exhausted without relief
🌶️ Spicy
Bang one out
Today, I’ve been so stressed out lately about my health and mounting bills that my insomnia has returned with vengeance. I thought I’d masturbate to help get some relief, but turns out I’m too tired to even do the deed. Too exhausted to release, but my brain still won’t let me sleep. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Can't be bothered
Today, I realised just how lazy I am when I was about to masturbate, but decided not to because I didn't want to put in the effort. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML
RyanM
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML
testacular
Plymouth, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Bad ********
Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML
Top comments
Tadeusz_fml 5
Get a hobby. Get help. Go do it now. Also, how did you sunburn your area or the palm of your hands?
DalPozzo13 10
Get a girlfriend, that will solve your problem
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Comments (209)
JokeMeister 0
sunburned on ur pecker? dude get a girl or use lotion
isac1234 0
I don't think NO ONE CARES if you're sunburned down there.. That's your problem.. & the last few words are the saddest :[
stacixobabe 0
talk to me ;)
wilsonchewy 0
you guys are sexy
stacixobabe 0
thank yaaaa
BleachLuvr 3
get a life
TheresNoEffingwa 7
shouldnt have had your junk in the sun ydi OP
leroy24 0
Yeah, you really need to get friends, get a job, and have a life. Not to be mean or anything.
theUBERcomment 1
bro. brooooooo. dude you didn't jerk to Cortana **** bro. now you suffer the con suck went sis
J223 0
too burnt to **********? challenge accepted.
partaytayy 3
hahaha
ghost67_fml 0
hahahahahaha
oooshit13 0
move to Seattle!!..u can hardly ever get a sunburn there..esp dwn there..and u can J.O all u want with out any probs..I guess..dude..now my poor ****** mind is wondering how the he'll u got a sunburn dwn there in the first place!!...FML..lol