Intimacy: Bad ******** - FML

Bad ********

By testacular - 25/03/2014 21:20 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Spicy

Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 662

You deserved it 55 830

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Same thing different taste

Third degree

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 06:01

Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 476

You deserved it 142

Fireball

By Anonymous - 03/07/2022 22:00

Today, I went into work to finish one last task, but decided to also have a fire in the pit. I grabbed the wrong can of fuel and ended up taking a fireball to the face, singed the hair on my head, arms, and I have to shave my beard off… Well, what’s left of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 1 019

By Smokey9 - 25/07/2011 15:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 610

You deserved it 62 558

Sucker

By BadIdea - 01/03/2012 21:23 - France

Spicy

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 286

You deserved it 59 665

It's lit

By Anonymous - 07/02/2022 00:01

Today, after spending 2 years growing out my hair, rubbing in oils to make it strong and healthy so I could shave it off and donate to a cancer charity to make wigs, I had a mishap at work with a car's cracked petrol tank. I now have 2nd degree facial burns and like 90% of the hair is burned away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 493

You deserved it 132

By Anonymous - 24/02/2013 19:58 - United States - Everett

Spicy

Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 249

You deserved it 8 735

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 607

You deserved it 15 134

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 21:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 860

You deserved it 8 410

By Anonymous - 13/06/2009 22:16 - United States

Today, in the bathroom during the ACTs, my hair got stuck in the electric hand dryer. I had to rip my hair out. For future reference, hair + hand dryer = dreadlocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 194

You deserved it 12 662

By anonymous - 12/03/2012 08:03 - United States

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 676

You deserved it 27 504

Next

Top comments

razi1 20

Tuesday 25 March 2014 23:57

The things we do in our boredom

enddmd 27

Tuesday 25 March 2014 23:57

Boredom combined with anything never ends well.

Comments

razi1 20

Tuesday 25 March 2014 23:57

The things we do in our boredom

GodPart2 20

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:03

Gives 'smoked nuts' a whole new meaning!

niallo 23

Wednesday 26 March 2014 2:26

I have to admit, I've Never been that bored.

halcyondaze 11

Wednesday 26 March 2014 3:57

I love how your pro pic is the xx

thatssomia 12

Wednesday 26 March 2014 4:14

please get a scrabble board...

koreamaniac101 7

Saturday 29 March 2014 13:38

#7 Had 69 Likes, how fitting.

Lunasis 14

Sunday 11 May 2014 20:35

sir that's not the intended use!

enddmd 27

Tuesday 25 March 2014 23:57

Boredom combined with anything never ends well.

Traitoro 9

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:31

Boredom has led to MANY revelations and amazing ideas throughout history. Look up Vsauce on YouTube and look for his boredom video.

Welshite 39

Tuesday 25 March 2014 23:58

At least your pubes are nice and straightened now. Girls love that.

Pleonasm 35

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:25

Girls like looking at the penile equivalent of a shaggy dog?

Welshite 39

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:29

Well I've never gotten any complaints. They call the Shaggy Dog rather adorable, and will sometimes tie a pretty pink bow on.

Pleonasm 35

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:37

I guess I could understand it, if they have this whole grooming/conformation show fetish.

kozzard 17

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:45

Gives "Best in Show" a new, disturbing, meaning

asparagus12 21

Wednesday 26 March 2014 3:00

Brazilian blowout!

hamzor 5

Wednesday 26 March 2014 20:53

Now plait your pubes out of boredom.

Simbaby 23

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:01

Boredom and curiosity doesn't go well together.

ChristianH39 30

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:36

Boredom, curiousity, and heat sources REALLY don't go well together

Marlee141717 9

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:02

Boredom and anything dont go very well together. Hope it it heals quickly!

BirdieCurls 25

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:20

#6... see #2 for verification.

feven 32

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:03

Ouch....

Pentium_4 27

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:06

you could have just rubbed one out like a normal bored guy

Pat77235 8

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:08

Blow drying your pubic hair: not cool

J3R3MYY 14

Wednesday 26 March 2014 7:22

I'm sorry but that was a bad pun

botanistjessica 24

Wednesday 26 March 2014 17:00

I thought it was pretty funny

jigglypuff34 16

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:08

Next time read a book when you're bored.

Marley_000 14

Wednesday 26 March 2014 23:45

Might I recommend; "How to be lovely: the Audrey Hepburn way of life"

illegalbeagle69 23

Friday 28 March 2014 2:27

50 shades of burnt scrotum..

CorpsmanUp88 21

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:09

I'm sure everyone will deny it but we all have all done something like this in extreme boredom.

Pleonasm 35

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:42

I don't know about you but I haven't burned my balls in boredom yet. Usually just jack off or play games. Maybe I should spice things up, try both at the same time.

Keywords

Love Friends Awkward Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management Poopoo peepee Coworkers Frustration Capitalism Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, my wife waited until we’d been married for two weeks to tell me she has a mountain of credit card debt that she’s been hiding from me. This explains why she insisted the mortgage and car be in my name, her credit score is so low that it’s almost a double digit FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 139

Today, I went to the airport to pick up my long-distance boyfriend. Having waited six months for this, I was stoked. After waiting for three hours and sending numerous messages, I was eventually informed I was a week early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 823

You deserved it 14 281

The Top

Today, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. Her excuse? I was the one that had initially introduced them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 077

You deserved it 3 802

Today, I had to pull chunks of digested blanket out of my dog's ass because she refuses to listen to me when I tell her not to eat the damn blanket. I can't stop smelling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 802

You deserved it 3 585

Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 242

You deserved it 5 059

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the doctor's for an ultrasound, as I'm 7 months pregnant. Then he went home and took his wife out to dinner for her birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 764

You deserved it 96 101

Today, the guy I have been going out with for six months cheated on me with the only girl I hate the most in the world. That girl ruined my previous relationship too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 214

You deserved it 110

Today, there was a snowstorm in Denmark. I had a job interview, but because of the weather, the buses were delayed, and I had to wait more than an hour in the freezing cold. When I finally got there, I was told the person I was supposed to talk to hadn't been able to make it in today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 37