Today, I'm having heart surgery. The doc came in, donut in one...

By deadman - 9/7/2012 18:25 - United Kingdom - Market Harborough

Today, I'm having heart surgery. The doc came in, donut in one hand and papers in another. While I was filling them out, his hands kept trembling, and he dropped the donut on the floor. He fumbled to pick it up and kept eating. The guy I'm entrusting my life to doesn't even respect the five-second rule. FML

I agree, your life sucks

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You deserved it

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Top comments

By thundergirl_fml | 2

#4669886 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 0:50

I'd be more concerned about his trembling hands considering you're having heart surgery...

By torio123 | 27

#4670827 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 5:15

#70, yes. You're the only one.

Comments

By thundergirl_fml | 2

#4669886 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 0:50

I'd be more concerned about his trembling hands considering you're having heart surgery...

greenmen | 12

#4670093 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 1:20

Don't worry you probably already have a donut in your heart by the time you read this

MrBrightside21 | 20

#4670253 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 1:58

Wow. It seems like you don't even care about OP having heart surgery.

Have a heart, #22.

flamegrilled123 | 3

#4670673 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 4:18

Am I the only one wondering what heart sugery is?

torio123 | 27

#4670827 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 5:15

#70, yes. You're the only one.

hockeyoceancity | 13

#4670891 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 5:35

70- Don't be such a grammar nazi... You know what it was meant to say.

kay71095 | 9

#4670925 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 5:49

Umm.. Why are you on FML when you're getting heart surgery? Just wondering

MagicGiraffe | 12

#4671440 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 9:37

He probably is just the leader of the operation and may not even lay a finger on you.

eXangelice | 15

#4672581 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 15:06

In my experience, many older cardiac surgeons have a familial tremor... The heart really isn't as delicate as many people think. I have seen some impressive tremors, but have yet to see an operation turn out badly because of them.

LN666 | 2

#4674272 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 1:14

dont be too stressed about the tremour. I work with doctors & they are some of THE best surgeons. Im sorry to hear you are having/had heart surgery. best of luck!

iilovecokee | 6

#4675422 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 8:45

How does that help OP? They're not his surgeons.

By ticklmypickl | 0

#4669887 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 0:51

It takes around thirty seconds for any bacteria to transfer. Chill.

Trix_Disorder | 20

#4669902 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 0:52

Actually, it takes less than a second. Anyone who's taken a Biology course (or has common sense) would know that. The five second rule is baloney.

boycrazy30007 | 12

#4669941 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 0:56

Totally agree. Bacteria transfers instantaneously. In thirty seconds it would have spread over the entire donut and more

muzy | 23

#4670047 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 1:12

10- not quite but it's true that the 5 second rule is very misleading.

Rsonicgamer_fml | 2

#4670215 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 1:49

You realize that any bacteria that would "transfer" to the doughnut would already be on you anyway because you touch the floor every second? So, isn't this debate quite pointless?

hotforkegger | 4

#4670235 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 1:54

You're an idiot

tj4234 | 35

#4670240 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 1:55

not unless you walk around on all fours.

larouche362 | 10

#4670636 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 4:07

Dumby the OP doesnt care for the donut trembling hands mean theres might be some mistakes.

TheBean27 | 3

#4670644 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 4:09

You have to be incredibly stupid to believe that, bacteria is transferred the second it touvhes the ground.

OMFGLOLWTF | 0

#4670663 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 4:15

They tried this on Mythbusters. And concluded that Bacteria transfers on contact, and multiply with rapid rate.

johngaltmovement | 8

#4670915 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 5:43

But we breath bacteria and germs in the air so our immune system should protect us.

ladyLALAA | 28

#4671184 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 7:27

I saw a show that said dropping moist ingredients bacteria transfers in under 1 second, dry ingredients three and under. Not sure how correct but what if it was a tim tam!

tomiller64 | 0

#4671599 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 11:15

You need to retake Highschool biology my friend

t765234 | 10

#4671774 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 12:59

I think this reply chain lowered my IQ by a few points, damn morons.

DocBastard | 38

#4672672 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 17:15

The 5-second rule is a myth and nothing more. Bacteria transfer on contact. Full stop.

johngaltmovement - The bacteria in your mouth are different than the ones on the floor that can make you sick. You do have gut immunity (google "secretory IgA") which protects you somewhat, but not against everything.

anythingmustbe | 18

#4672973 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 18:48

They did research recently and found out the dangerous ones which your body cant fight against takes around 5 seconds so it is true in some sense

xenomsftw | 19

#4673053 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 18:57

Not true, bacteria can transfer the... (cant fond a fraction of a second long enough...) as soon as the doughnut hit the ground. :D

tylahgrace | 12

#4674750 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 3:44

yeah and Mythbusters proved it, for all you non biology people

22cute | 17

#4674808 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 4:14

True transfer is instantaneous and true bacteria is everywhere. But a hearty immune system is improved by the occasional bacteria challenge. :)
Eat it anyway!

capslockisgood | 19

#5304175 - Wednesday 2 January 2013 6:30

119 Yes, how convenient for us that the deadly bacteria are also the physically handicapped bacteria.

comment11111 | 39

#5672950 - Saturday 14 September 2013 13:07

Yeah, imagine this:
Bacteria 1: "Don´t hop on that bagel, it has not been on the ground for 5 seconds, yet!"
Bacteria 2: "Yeah, sure. I´ll wait 2 seconds..."

By stormchaser24 | 24

#4669894 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 0:51

I doubt it is the same doctor. The hands would worry me more. Floors at docs office are clean. Lol

aleeshttylXD | 9

#4670049 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 1:12

what did floors being clean have to do with anything?

Mauskau | 35

#4670284 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 2:08

Shoes aren't clean.

nabee26 | 15

#4670343 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 2:24

Actually the floors at doctor's offices are NOT clean. They are covered with germs and bacteria and who knows what else! Gross!

jessica051085 | 5

#4670691 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 4:22

medical facility floors are likely more dangerously dirty due to the disproportionate number of seriously ill people that are on them... Bacteria and viruses don't crawl onto dropped food, they are transferred immediately upon contact... , not 30 seconds or even 5 seconds, instantly

By OhDearBetrayal | 25

#4669896 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 0:52

Maybe he's doing it on purpose because he finds enjoyment in other peoples fears?

blcksocks | 19

#4670112 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 1:23

Yeah, because scaring the crap out of someone who already has a weak heart is a very wise thing for a doc to do right?

bkj92 | 5

#4671211 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 7:36

Reminds me something that House would do off the TV show lmao

Mademoiselle_fml | 34

#4671397 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 9:27

I actually wouldn't be surprised; some people have a very sick sense of humor...

By 2oc | 5

#4669908 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 0:53

Watch out for Junior Mints during the operation. I don't know how many will get that seinfeld reference :

Irishgypsy | 2

#4669919 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 0:54

Fantastic episode. Kramer kills me

42istheanswer | 27

#4670012 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 1:05

6- I think you forgot half of the happy face at the end of your comment. :)

2oc | 5

#4670042 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 1:11

It was a : face but yeah, the 20% warning popped up as i went to hit send. Im surprizsed i did that well trying to type on an ipod

2oc | 5

#4670213 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 1:49

Wow the mouth didnt show up again, its not me its the ipod sabotaging me

instnt1nfction | 16

#4670374 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 2:37

First, they will eliminate our parenthesis, then the human race.

42istheanswer | 27

#4670438 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 2:59

Revenge of the apple products
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!

perdix | 29

#4670859 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 5:26

Count me in that number, except I never knew why that surgeon was also the Assman. I didn't think proctologists did surgery.

By l2ebecca | 4

#4669912 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 0:53

Get a new doctor. Don't let someone operate on you that you don't trust.

Zedd_fml | 8

#4670786 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 5:00

Since when there is a "five second rule" ,IT'S A HOSPITAL!!

thiscrazything | 1

#4671620 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 11:26

Exactly, filled with sick people and germs like staff and MRSA.

By kut17 | 11

#4669933 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 0:55

*drops scalpel, blows off germs*

jesustitts | 20

#4670741 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 4:43

Drops heart, oops five second rule. Blows off the dirt and tries to wipe off the hairs. Eh, whatever, *puts it back.*

I_lost_the_game | 25

#4677706 - Thursday 12 July 2012 0:42

74- Ew.

By perdix | 29

#4669958 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 0:58

A heart surgeon that eats donuts at work, has trembling hands and eats shit off the floor?

You'd be better off using happy thoughts or acupuncture to fix your bad ticker than having this clown crack you open.

Trisha_aus | 15

#4670029 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 1:08

DocBastard doesn't like doughnuts..does he?

perdix | 29

#4670336 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 2:24

It's not just that the doctor likes donuts -- it's just the sheer bad taste of eating them in front of a patient who likely is there because of eating too many donuts.