Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML
Today, while working as a highway patrol officer, I pulled over my girlfriend for speeding and was required by law to ticket her. Another officer was with me, so I couldn't not ticket her without being reported. We share a joint account, so I basically ticketed myself. FML
Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML
Today, my psycho-obsessed ex-girlfriend blabbed all about how she got a check in the mail for $1000 from CrimeStoppers on Facebook and Twitter. This explains how my current girlfriend and two of my friends all got arrested last week for having weed. FML
Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML
Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML
Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML
Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML
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Top comments
Mega07 6
please go get yourself tested
FMLkoala 28
You mean ex girlfriend right?
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Comments (108)
ghil15 8
well good thing is your doing your job, the bad thing is you need to arrest your girlfriend for being a prostitue, man FYL!
AKGirlinSD 20
The first "your" in your comment should be "you're." Also, OP already arrested his now ex-girlfriend. He stated that in his FML :-).
ghil15 8
is this a school?...
RedPillSucks 31
yes. Yes it is, as is life.
Powerfull_fml 8
#35, you're new to the internet, aren't you?
vinayj009 5
That must have been a tough case.
Dutch_stoner 11
Can't you ask your partner to do it for you?
brewmasterg 34
Arrest herself?
rosenkrieger223 24
His work partner, not relationship partner...
SweetasCandy0609 28
Seriously he said in his Fml that they all know her so yes they know.
SweetasCandy0609 28
You did the right thing and you didn't know she was a prostitute so that's not your fault, I'm sorry it didn't work out for you OP.
Ray_of_midnight 22
I'm sorry, you're displaying too much kindness and common sense for FML. :-/
A07 48
guess you did'nt see that ...... coming ooooohhhhhh yeeeeaaaaaahhhhhh B)
tommylover842 23
I assume you're trying to make a pun here, if so the word would be cumming. Just sayin.
ksks1234 33
Actually, the ejaculate slang is spelled come. So they were correct.
micha090 21
Could have been worse op. Imagine you had found out after marrying her. Thank your good fortune, but get yourself tested.
DKjazz 20
Roxanne, you don't have to put on the red light.
NoFlippinWai 24
Red equals dead, CaptianPicard. You should know. Also, red making things more appealing explains a lot about star trek.
Trooper665 4
Dude, that blows!
MEM0817 18
She probably blows more than you'd think. Uhhh... I mean it blows more than you'd think.
Faith13 16
more like she blows.....for money
j_cat187 19
....aaaand you killed it. Murderer.
cookie1207 19
Ouch! So what happens now?
NoFlippinWai 24
he is "single again"