Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML
Today, while working as a highway patrol officer, I pulled over my girlfriend for speeding and was required by law to ticket her. Another officer was with me, so I couldn't not ticket her without being reported. We share a joint account, so I basically ticketed myself. FML
Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML
Today, my psycho-obsessed ex-girlfriend blabbed all about how she got a check in the mail for $1000 from CrimeStoppers on Facebook and Twitter. This explains how my current girlfriend and two of my friends all got arrested last week for having weed. FML
Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML
Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML
Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML
Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML
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Top comments
Mega07 6
please go get yourself tested
FMLkoala 28
You mean ex girlfriend right?
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Comments (108)
dilillo1148 4
FYL, but I don't blame your co-workers for picking on you. I'd do the same.
ihearuscreamin 13
So I'm assuming no one knew your exgf because it was a new relationship thus no one knew to tell u the hooker down the street was ur gf..that sucks. Staff shouldn't judge u especially if u didn't know.
twinkiefeets 17
How did you not know? How did your coworkers not mention it?
aliw12 2
so she's been ur gf for 3 month's, and instead of helping her, u arrest her? ...makes sense ...
baref00tmama 15
Yes, it does. If OP was willing to jeopardize his job for someone who he's only been seeing for 3 months (who lied to him about being a streetwalker!) he'd be an idiot.
Tim2415 16
As a fellow officer, I know about the cruel inside jokes the department does to ya, but what I have to say is keep doing what you're doing! Good job!
Yettie 9
wtf was a prostitute thinking that a relationship with a cop would end well
WhiteCrimson 23
Story to tell your gran kids OP. I screwed a prozy without paying for 3months and the I put I her in jail when I got tired of her! Hahahahaha
metalhedcop 6
Hate that for you bro. I'm an officer too. All I can say is I'd be runnin every chick I dated through NCIC from now on.
lucasjames22 8
I hope you mean ex girlfriend.
lucasj23 11
um....get tested? Did you know she was a hooker?