Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I attempted to conquer my fear of eating out. The very first thing I saw as soon as I got to the restaurant? An unconscious guy getting taken away by paramedics. I turned around and went straight home. FML
Today, I was at a food truck festival and I spotted a taco truck and eagerly ordered a spicy taco. As I took my first bite, the spice hit me like a freight train and I began to choke. In an effort to save myself, I dropped the taco into the lap of the guy sitting next to me. He looked up, lap splattered in salsa, and asked if I was having a stroke. FML
Today, after being a germaphobe for almost ten years and refusing to go out to restaurants because of it, I finally had the courage to face my fear, and went to dinner with my family. After three bites into my salad, I found a dead bug in it. FML
Today, I went to a Mexican restaurant with my family. I got stuck trying to decide whether I should get the fajitas or the tacos. I ended up getting the tacos because I didn't want the fajitas to come in sizzling, and I didn't want to "make a scene". My social anxiety has hit a new low. FML
Today, I got fired from my job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined their wedding. They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them. They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party. FML
Today, while eating a sandwich, I saw a worm. Knowing that my friend always tries to scare me with fake worms and insects, I bit it to show her I knew it was fake. It was real. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, I was surfing and trying to impress some girls on the beach. While I was out in the water, a jellyfish wrapped itself around my torso. I started to yell and freak out, making a huge scene. I grabbed it off of me, only to realize that I was freaking out over a plastic grocery bag. FML
Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML
Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a five minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
buck33 14
That meal sounds disgusting. End of story.
ihatethesenamez 6
School food is hella nasty
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (137)
kerrwoof 13
Cafeteria food isn't that bad, atleast at my old high school it was good. But why would you ever try something called "seafood taco salad"? That even sounds toxic!
PYLrulz 17
Agreed. The food at my school wasn't that bad, hell, the pizzas were damn good. But I guess it varies from school to school
BlackBlazeCobra 16
My school's food was delicious. I could die for their chicken fingers, paninis, mozzarella sticks and fries. They know how to cook right. Everyone avoided the hot dogs like the plague though. I would've honestly ran the other way if they made a seafood taco salad.
tanay97 8
And that is why you avoid cafeteria food!
mjoyn98 1
Seafood taco salad? Why in the world would you try that!
rattusrattus 19
It's probably the same urge that lead to the invention of bungee jumping, really hot sauce, and cosmetic trepanning.
I_Hug_Cats 26
Just the name is enough... *hides*
Luke1717 0
My cafeteria makes pretty good food (Well before everything wasn't baked anyways) but they overprice it. Like $4 for a small poutine that contains about 8-10 fries... Literally. (Yes, I am Canadian, I love poutine)
Mearemoi 14
...And that my friends, is why you should not approach anything that has seafood, taco, and salad in the same sentence.
FrankHotpants 31
I'm sure it was terrible, although prison food and the stuff we eat in the navy is labeled "not for human consumption" which doesn't make you feel very good but hell I've been eating it for years.
rattusrattus 19
Big difference between "things humans can eat" and "safe for human consumption on a regular basis". In the first category you get things like dirt, coffin handles, MDF, value-price frozen readymeals...
Muffin_boo 12
If the food is labeled not for human consumption then why do you have to eat it? Also, is this on base or out at sea??
CTVrhythmguitari 8
If I could find a food dish that made you suffer a worse pain then having all of your limbs slowly twisted one by one until they snapped, I just might become religious again.
soupisyummy 13
School food is for throwing at people you despise, not for eating, silly! Goodness!
Akolatronic_2021 0
School food more faker than taco bell food
The_Hitdude 12
Your english more worser than is appropriate on this site.
ProhibitionRose 14
How dare you insult Taco Bell?!!!? Taco Bell is amazing and totally real. At least...it feels real in my tummy >.>
YdoIhaveAchode 4
37- that is hilarious
TheNewGuy03 29
37's comment is just way mo' betta than 26's. Mo' betta than good, but not betta than the best. Feel me? :p |the kid|