Today, I learned the hard way that if you're going to pour bleach on bugs to kill them, you need to be prepared for them to fly up and try to attack your face. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML
Today, while squishing a stink bug, it sprayed directly in my eye. FML
Today, I was cleaning my bathroom, and accidentally spilled bleach, ruining my shower curtain, rugs, and towels. While attempting to wipe up the bleach, I knocked over a bottle of shower cleaner. It read, "WARNING: DO NOT MIX WITH BLEACH." I still can't go in the house. FML
Today, I was cooking dinner when I noticed a cockroach on the kitchen counter. I reflexively tried to spray it with what I had to hand, which was window cleaner, but it seems to have pissed it off and flew right at me instead. I screamed and ran out of the kitchen, leaving the roach in charge. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML
Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML
Today, I learned one of life's great lessons: it is possible to squeeze a Ketchup bottle so hard that the plastic breaks and everything lands on your face. FML
Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
omg like YDI for killing bugs and ******* up the natural balance of the world! support PETA 4 lyf No really, but bleach? Did you not have anything to hit them with or something?
zodak 0
leasson learned
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Comments (120)
dalek_fml 0
Oh God that was funny xD
gigilvrs6 0
Good to know.
AMAZINashleigh 6
Hahaha. This sounds like something I'd see in a horror movie...
simsimma88 0
what goes up must come down
rockyraccoon28 8
wow, come on. you have to put a container over them or something and let them chill in there while they die.
BeckyBooG 6
That's a scary bugg! :3
Geoffrx7 0
or eat it
zombiekitten87 12
I had a friend who did that once because there was a silverfish in her bathroom lol. I put cigarettes out on spiders. I don't care if it's cruel. I hate spiders. /pointless comment
love_me_electric 20
Hate doesn't justify torture. You're still an asshole.
zombiekitten87 12
well I replied to this but it didn't seem to post so I'll try again. It's not exactly torture when they die instantly, but thanks for the bleeding heart judgement.
Erissa 2
I kill spiders and ants with cigarettes too, it kills them instantly, and it's satisfying
riseagainst8767x 0
why the hell would you want to kill poor innocent bugs
happysmartg 5
why didnt you just smoosh it?