Today, I learned the hard way that if you're going to pour bleach on bugs to kill them, you need to be prepared for them to fly up and try to attack your face. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML
Today, while squishing a stink bug, it sprayed directly in my eye. FML
Today, I was cleaning my bathroom, and accidentally spilled bleach, ruining my shower curtain, rugs, and towels. While attempting to wipe up the bleach, I knocked over a bottle of shower cleaner. It read, "WARNING: DO NOT MIX WITH BLEACH." I still can't go in the house. FML
Today, I was cooking dinner when I noticed a cockroach on the kitchen counter. I reflexively tried to spray it with what I had to hand, which was window cleaner, but it seems to have pissed it off and flew right at me instead. I screamed and ran out of the kitchen, leaving the roach in charge. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML
Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML
Today, I learned one of life's great lessons: it is possible to squeeze a Ketchup bottle so hard that the plastic breaks and everything lands on your face. FML
Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
omg like YDI for killing bugs and ******* up the natural balance of the world! support PETA 4 lyf No really, but bleach? Did you not have anything to hit them with or something?
zodak 0
leasson learned
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (120)
DudeImBetter 0
It bugs me when insects try and attack my face.
allmidnighteyes 11
Yeah, same here. It pisses me off. Sometimes, it fills me with so much anger that I feel like I've been raped. In the face.
rockhound 0
so you're familiar with this feeling? you know, of being raped? in the face?
allmidnighteyes 11
Go watch Hamlet 2
xThatAsianGurlx 0
Haha I don't get why you used bleach in the first place Lol
SmokyMcBong 1
see what u should have done is bought some lizards and a anteater and let them loose in the house, very effective I assume
AAShah 0
That is by far the stupidest way of killing bugs. However, many other smart asses now know better than to kill bugs using bleach. :)
maphineRAWRS 10
why try and kill bugs with bleach in the first place? op meet bug spray, bug apart, meet op. simple, and apparantly less painful ;)
maphineRAWRS 10
*bug spray iPhone auto correct -.-
AAShah 0
Don't you just hate that? Is there a way of switching off auto-correct?
allmidnighteyes 11
Settings --> General --> Keyboard --> Auto-Correction --> OFF
AAShah 0
59- Thanks.
BlueTwist89 0
Uhmm...at least you know now?
bheemerheimer 0
I can only assume that going to drastic measures such as bleach only means that she was trying to kill stinkbugs. If that's the case, I feel your pain. You don't want to step on those things because they reek...and bug spray just doesn't cut it. Wear a mask next time.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
My thoughts exactly. Using anthrax against those bastards would be totally justified. Stupid, but justified. I'm lucky enough to not be able to smell them, but even the sight of a stinkbug grosses me out. They're like giant, clumsy ticks that play hell with the local ecosystem. Ugh. I flush 'em.
QWERTYCommander 5
I flush 'em too.
marc_with_a_c 3
Who the hell uses bleach to kill bugs? Seriously, even if it had worked, which it didn't, you'd have ended up with a damaged floor/carpet/whatever the bug was on. And chances of the bleach splashing back on your clothes and ruining them. You're the dumbest bug killer I ever heard of.
dannylel 0
yea lol
riseagainst8767x 0
some people are just so damn stupid
lindsey37 0
Bleach? That was a... FAIL!
CameronH92 0
extreme fail
Cookie00Munsta 0
your a jerk! bugs don't pour bleach all over you!! why do it to them?? Ur just mad cuz yo mommas boyfriend is tech nine..