Today, I learned that my roommate, the one in charge of the cooking, never washes her hands beforehand. According to her, it boosts her immune system. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I found out that my best friend doesn't wash her hands after going to the bathroom, even if she changes her pad. I then remembered all the times she's handed food to me, and teased me when I tried to wash my hands first. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML
Today, I had to tell my 28-year-old roommate she needs to wash her hands after using the bathroom. She then said she’d try, as long as I try to put my dishes in the dishwasher. Those aren’t even on the same level. FML
Today, while baking, I was joined by my roommate who doesn't really cook. I was making a batch of dough and she volunteered to help. After showing her how to knead, she really got into it. Afterwards, I asked why she wanted to help. "It really cleans my nails", she said. FML
Today, my wife bitched at me for not washing my hands before handling the dishes. The dirty dishes. That were sitting in a sink of hot soapy water. According to her, the dirt from my hands was gonna make the dirty dishes even dirtier. Huh? FML
Today, my housemate, who never cleans, cooked tacos, then left her dishes for the rest of the evening. When shown a bowl of murky water in the sink, she denied it was hers, prompting my vegetarian housemate to clean it. Putting her hand in the bowl, she found a lump of raw taco meat. Yum. FML
Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML
Today, I said hi to my coworker and she immediately yelled, "Get your gross unwashed hands out of my face!" I wash my hands compulsively and they were nowhere near her face. FML
Today, my coworker cornered me in the office bathroom and insisted that, because she's been watching me, I use the bathroom too quickly and must not be washing my hands, and that I have to wash them from now on. FML
Today, my roommate yelled at me yet again for using the dishwasher because it's "unsanitary." This is all while a mountain of her dishes were going mouldy in the sink. FML
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Top comments
WinterPerfection 3
I can just TASTE the disease!
SkardeyKat 3
Well, according to her logic, your immune system is being boosted as well. I believe a thank you is in order, she's pumping up your system to defend against super-bugs!
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Comments (140)
Calyx_fml 22
It boosts yours too. Next time cook for her after cleaning the cat box.
raphanne_fml 33
"My hands are totally clean, I just gave the duck a bath."
jroxursox1 10
That's just....... Lovely. :P
jroxursox1 10
Ok. I don't care if it'll boost anyone's immune system I don't want her ass wipe hands touching my food.
jmad29 2
Yup! And dogs mouths magically clean their own wounds too!!
GTAmerc 2
It's true!
PhilipNotMacedon 3
Indeed it is. A large part of the massive increase of auto-immune diseases, allergies and asthma is because people, especially children, aren't brought in contact with enough bacterial and viral infections. (google it if you doubt me).
Georgia13 0
Hahaha just inject her with AIDs bliss and say you were "helping boost her immune system!" :)
tyrrell030491 7
Kinda true, depends on what exactly she's been doing with her hands... "You eat a tonne of sh*t before you die"
MissKittie 3
As long as she doesn;t go to the toilet or something just before cooking, who really gives a shit? It's not going to kill you.... I'll bet you don't washyour hands every time you touch money, which actually has more germs than the average toilet... so does underneath your fingernails, which I bet you chew. Wipe the sand out of your ******, princess.
jacobtraska1996 0
That's nasty
willywill710 0
There's an easy fix to that... make your own food