Intimacy: Today, I learned it is best not to let your cordless mouse die... - FML

By nickyy - 29/11/2009 02:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, I learned it is best not to let your cordless mouse die while secretly watching porn right when your mom walks in. FML

agreeclassic 11 488

vote type 1 31 458

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By Anonymous - 27/08/2014 21:50 - United States - Franklin Park

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Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

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By hitmutefirst - 03/02/2009 10:24 - United States

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By Isabell - 06/02/2010 05:31 - Australia

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Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

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By losingstreak - 31/01/2009 20:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said, "You know, I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses." FML

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

pizz0wn3d 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 9:08

L2Alt F4, windows button D, or even Alt Tab. YDI for being computer illiterate

lonewolf2701 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 9:16

there should be a **** watching class, i declare myself a teacher, rule one: never watch **** parents home :p

Comments

Ziwhtam 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 23:13

And even if you didn't know the keyboard shortcuts, you could have turned off your computer monitor.

nintendodork 0

Friday 4 December 2009 1:37

YDI for not knowing Alt+Tab or Alt+F4. If you're gonna use the computer for ****, you gotta have an escape route that doesn't rely on the mouse.

Seyral 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 19:54

it's called ALT F4 noob

cmm724 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 6:11

this is why girls don't usually get caught watching ****... we aren't dumbasses about it!! haha

ThorneCrossed 9

Wednesday 22 June 2011 5:12

girls are like goddamn ninjas when it comes to **** and masturbating

rich_el888 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 14:38

classic!:D

hyefedyee 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 7:27

control alt delete

michael419 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 18:06

wish that I could say that it hasn't happened to me...

col535 0

Tuesday 23 March 2010 1:45

that's why I do it on my iPod.

Apotheosis5267 0

Thursday 22 April 2010 21:29

You're not the first, and you sure as hell won't be the last xP

sexton 0

Thursday 15 July 2010 7:38

I got caught once but it wuz becuz I didnt clear the history. then I got internet on my phone then it all changed I still haven't got caught but then again I stopped when I wuz about 13

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my nephew stabbed me in the knee with a colouring pencil. The hospital says he ripped a hole in a tendon and I need surgery to fix it or one day it'll snap. I’ll have a limp for the rest of my life. FML

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Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML

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Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

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Today, I visited my family for spring break because I've been away at college and I haven't seen them since Christmas. Almost as soon as I walked in the door, my mom had me clean the living room area, clean up cat vomit, and do the dishes. Thanks guys... I missed you too. FML

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Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML

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Today, after 27 years of dedicated and loyal service, it finally happened, I was robbed at gunpoint at work. The whole heist only took about 30 seconds and the perpetrator took off without taking anything from me. I still don't get it. What kind of screwball would hijack a garbage truck? FML

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