Today, I hooked up with this man for the first time. He takes his shirt off and has a chestful of black hair. He had his name shaved into it. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was hanging out with the guy I really like. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt, so he put his finger through it. I haven't shaved in weeks. FML
Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML
Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML
Today, the only man who has ever fallen in love with me is bald. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML
Today, I made out with the guy I've had a huge crush on for the first time. He wrapped his arms around me, and whispered softly into my ear, "I can't wait to bone you." FML
Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like, "I'm a bear." FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off, only to learn that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML
Today, I got my boyfriend shirtless for the first time and I noticed that he had unusual flat nipples. I asked about it and he said that since men don’t need them and he didn’t like them making small pokies under his T-shirt, he cut them off with a razor when he was 19. Um, WHAT? FML
Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML
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Top comments
Dr_Phil 0
I'm not sure how this makes your life suck. I think this is pretty awesome and am now going to go shave my name into my chest hair.
exceptyourheart 0
that's amazing. i'm sorry....but that's just absolutely amazing.
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Comments (93)
coghiller 0
sounds fake,like the DQ commercial..
ajlikesgiraffes 0
That's ******* awesome Mann
Plaasmaa 4
I see what you did there ya black Scottish cyclops!
Plaasmaa 4
Because at Dairy Queen GOOD ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH!
Epikouros 32
That reminds me of the picture of a guy who had the number of his favorite NASCAR driver shaved into his backhair...
Impulseforyou 6
Why does this remind me of Bob off of That 70's Show. lmao XD
bornoriginal 3
Thats just disgusting..
Mayberry_Brown 9
Omfg! ******* epic!
stolencookie 17
Lmfao! Hahahahahahah, that would be so win.
dianadoll 23
would you rather it be your name?:o
Kirito_SAO 9
At least it wasnt ur name