Miscellaneous: Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker....

By Keastwood013 - 18/01/2013 15:25 - United States

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 777

You deserved it 4 157

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Same thing different taste

By Wutdafuqq - 23/02/2015 20:18 - Canada - Kanata

Today, a woman yelled at me for holding a door open for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 815

You deserved it 3 263

By Anonymous - 09/12/2009 21:05 - United States

Today, I was going into an office building. There was a boy and a man ahead of me, and the boy held the door open for me. Surprised, I said "What a nice young man," and he said. "It's ok, ma'am; my dad says to always hold the doors open for old ladies." I'm 43. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 648

You deserved it 6 324

Whoops

By Anonymous - 28/09/2010 00:44 - United States

Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 748

You deserved it 36 046

By Greg - 28/10/2013 21:53 - United States - Livonia

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 211

You deserved it 3 279

By Anonymous - 11/05/2010 15:04 - Netherlands

Today, an old lady asked me the way to the shopping mall. The shopping mall was not too far away, but I could see that the lady could barely walk so I offered to drive her there. She smacked my car's door into a pole while getting in my car. She didn't even notice that she'd done something wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 762

You deserved it 5 709

Alexa, play "Mr Loverman" by Shabba Ranks

By Anonymous - 15/03/2020 18:07

Today, I was at a store when I saw a cute girl from my school. Trying to act cool, I went to hold the door for her. Too bad it was an automatic door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 1 103

Flattered

By Creeped out - 28/01/2013 08:14 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me, "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 194

You deserved it 3 708

By GreenMonstR - 25/04/2009 05:09 - United States

Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the woman's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 218

You deserved it 4 772

By appropriatepolice - 16/01/2012 08:19 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my 65-year-old mother that it is inappropriate for her to walk around in front of me in her underwear. Her response? "Too bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 842

You deserved it 13 695

By anonymous - 20/09/2016 22:49 - United States - Avon

Today, I tried to jokingly hold the door shut so my friend, who I'd seen walking down the hall to our class, couldn't get in. It was funny, until my new teacher yelled "Open the damn door!" from the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 377

You deserved it 12 295

Coop817 19

Friday 18 January 2013 18:50

Hmm weird. That usually works.

SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18

Friday 18 January 2013 18:50

I smell a challenge.

Comments

Werken247 14

Friday 18 January 2013 19:24

Give her a bottle of Geritol, let her know you mean business!

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 18 January 2013 19:24

Tell her there's probably room for you and the friends you'd want to invite along.

The_Thinker 18

Friday 18 January 2013 19:29

You've let her through the door. Now you can work on letting the D through her.

itsallbullshit 4

Friday 18 January 2013 19:30

Kids today! Oh, wait...

kaycol 8

Friday 18 January 2013 19:52

Should of asked her how you could then

xRezSynn 15

Friday 18 January 2013 19:53

Werken247 14

Friday 18 January 2013 19:59

pee

twiztedone 19

Friday 18 January 2013 20:01

Granny's still getting it!! Lol! Sorry op! Hopefully you just laughed at it!

PenguinBitch 43

Friday 18 January 2013 20:35

Enlighten us how Noor? How do you get grandma's cookie?

joe502 3

Friday 18 January 2013 20:50

Smooth talker Betty Crocker...

iTag_Skorn 4

Friday 18 January 2013 20:54

Ewwwwww!!

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The Top

Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 72

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend for cheating on me. I refused his calls, so he texted, not to apologize, but to say I'd "left some clothes in his suitcase"; i.e., he stole some of my clothes. When he didn't get the response from me that he was hoping for, he texted, "I'm wearing your shorts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 120

The Top

Today, I learned that you should never ask your 11 year-old daughter to read a text for you while you’re driving. She read a text from a girl I had a one-night stand with on New Year's Eve, demanding why I never called her again. Yes, my wife was also in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 5 514

Today, the car shop called me and told me an 8 year-old boy stole my car and wrecked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 80

Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 807

You deserved it 5 709

Today, I was at the grocery store and this hot guy was staring at my ass, so I smiled at him. My mother noticed he was checking my ass out, and she approached him and said "I know she has a big ass, but it's rude to stare, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 689

You deserved it 5 817

Today, I saw a guy with a "free hugs" poster. Since nobody else was hugging him, I decided to. He had a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 707

You deserved it 41 244

Today, I was waiting in line while a lady paid for her shopping, when her credit card got declined. She started ranting and insulting everyone and kept insisting: "I'm not poor!" By the time the lady had finally stormed off, I had spittle on my face, and the cashier was almost in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 145

You deserved it 2 641

Same thing different taste

Whoops

Alexa, play "Mr Loverman" by Shabba Ranks

Flattered

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