Intimacy: Today, I was at the grocery store and this hot guy was staring...

By hard - 09/08/2010 07:07 - Canada

Today, I was at the grocery store and this hot guy was staring at my ass, so I smiled at him. My mother noticed he was checking my ass out, and she approached him and said "I know she has a big ass, but it's rude to stare, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 706

You deserved it 5 824

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Same thing different taste

By amore89 - 28/07/2019 12:00

Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 882

You deserved it 243

By Anonymous - 16/08/2012 21:09 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 667

You deserved it 47 765

By oshitdonotwant - 08/08/2009 13:42 - United States

Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 507

You deserved it 4 074

Confused

By Anonymous - 13/06/2014 23:36 - United States - Rahway

Today, I was out shopping with my mom. While we were walking, a guy in a car honked at me. I'm not used to compliments, so I was pretty flattered and flashed him a smile. He looked back at me, confused, then shook his head and pointed at my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 563

You deserved it 6 014

By Anonymous - 31/12/2011 06:21 - United States

Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 864

You deserved it 7 313

By embarrassment - 12/06/2009 13:46 - Canada

Today, I went to a family dinner. While waiting to be seated, a guy walked by and I looked to see if he was hot. Then my grandma yelled, "Get your eyeballs back in your head and quit staring at boys!" The whole restaurant heard her. Including the guy. And yes, he was hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 400

You deserved it 8 386

By thathurt - 01/01/2012 00:51 - United States

Today, while shopping at Wal-Mart, a guy grabbed my butt. When I turned around to slap him, he shook his head, said "Nice ass but such an ugly face", then walked away. I've never been told I'm ugly before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 057

You deserved it 8 396

Miscommunication

By embarrassed - 21/07/2021 01:59 - United States

Today, I saw a really cute guy in the grocery store. We made eye contact a few times and I was trying to work up the nerve to start a conversation. Instead, he screamed, "Yes, I know I’m fat, bitch. You don’t have to stare!” I got so many dirty looks I left immediately. I didn’t think he was fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 471

You deserved it 134

Toxic much?

By tlm84 - 28/07/2014 02:54 - United States - Fitchburg

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man", and that my ass was "grounds for discussion." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 650

You deserved it 5 064

By motherdearest - 21/03/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, I went to the mall with my mom. We were in American Eagle shopping for spring clothes, when a few good looking guys walked by and whistled at me. I smiled at them. They were checking out my mom, not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 286

You deserved it 6 988

Timmo_fml 2

Monday 9 August 2010 16:16

#I like big butts and I cannot lie...#

The_Fonz_fml 0

Monday 9 August 2010 16:15

lol that's funny OP over protective mombot

Comments

The_Fonz_fml 0

Monday 9 August 2010 16:15

lol that's funny OP over protective mombot

gman1112 3

Monday 9 August 2010 16:16

I will **** you

Hahaurmother 0

Monday 9 August 2010 16:16

Lol wow

Timmo_fml 2

Monday 9 August 2010 16:16

#I like big butts and I cannot lie...#

THEsuperMANLYman 10

Friday 4 January 2013 8:29

You other brothers can't deny

missfrenchie 11

Thursday 31 January 2013 23:26

Then when a girl walks in with a itty bitty waist

HeyHeyFishFillet 34

Friday 15 November 2013 2:26

And a round thing in your face you get sprung!

kate_mama2009 0

Monday 9 August 2010 16:16

haha, at least he was checking it out and not repulsed :)

iceymouse17 4

Monday 9 August 2010 16:16

wow

kittyx33 0

Monday 9 August 2010 16:17

nothing wrong with a girl and a nice ass ;)

raghavfyl 0

Monday 9 August 2010 16:18

KILL HER

swimmerstud 7

Monday 9 August 2010 16:22

I agree with 6. he likes big butts and he can not lieXD

Doopliss01 0

Monday 9 August 2010 16:23

**** blockedd

Lumpy760 0

Monday 9 August 2010 16:31

you mean twat blocked

s3xw4x 0

Monday 9 August 2010 16:36

haha classic

The_Fonz_fml 0

Monday 9 August 2010 16:40

you look like Forrest gump

bridgette5866 0

Monday 9 August 2010 16:57

you look like The Fonz.

1luckeguy 0

Monday 9 August 2010 19:34

You look like a circle with a slash through it. ;)

selenagirl_fml 0

Monday 9 August 2010 19:45

so do you 83.... 

1luckeguy 0

Monday 9 August 2010 19:56

We're twins!

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, the girl I love who friendzoned me called to talk. She shared the marvelous things she'd done for her friend's birthday, then said, "You had a recent birthday too." Then she laughed. We'd talked multiple times without her mentioning my birthday. She ignored it on Facebook. Time for no contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 194

Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 100

You deserved it 7 572

The Top

Today, I was about to go out and get some groceries, but the moment I slammed the door I realized my keys were still inside. My inner caveman instincts told me to immediately break down the door, so now I have to get a doorknob replacement instead of food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 356

You deserved it 2 326

Today, I smacked a big mosquito that had landed on my leg. My boyfriend then said to me, "I wonder if their mouth snaps off when you slap them, and now it’s stuck in your skin." Thanks. Thanks a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 412

You deserved it 223

Today, I found out that my boyfriend asked me to marry him because he could get a tax cut from buying the ring. All of this happened in front of his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 803

You deserved it 2 452

Today, my boyfriend jokingly said that if I didn't pass my exam, he wouldn't have sex with me for a month. I failed it, and now he thinks I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 970

You deserved it 5 404

Today, I came home from work to find my kids playing Frisbee with my collection of rare, valuable vinyl records. The term "smash hit record" took on a whole new meaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 507

You deserved it 2 902

Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 731

You deserved it 8 664

Same thing different taste

Confused

Miscommunication

Toxic much?

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