Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a woman yelled at me for holding a door open for her. FML
Today, I was going into an office building. There was a boy and a man ahead of me, and the boy held the door open for me. Surprised, I said, "What a nice young man," and he said, "It's OK, ma'am; my dad says to always hold the doors open for old ladies." I'm 43. FML
Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML
Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML
Today, while holding the door open for a stranger, I thought I was being polite. She walked through, smiled at me, and said, "Thanks, but you didn’t have to follow me into the bathroom." I hadn’t noticed the door led to the restroom. FML
Today, I was trying to be polite by holding the door for an elderly lady in a shop. What I didn’t realise was that the doors were automatic. I ended up standing there awkwardly for a good 5 seconds, holding onto thin air, while she just smiled and walked by. A bloke behind me said, “The doors don’t need your help, mate.” FML
Today, an old lady asked me the way to the shopping mall. The shopping mall was not too far away, but I could see that the lady could barely walk so I offered to drive her there. She smacked my car's door into a pole while getting in my car. She didn't even notice that she'd done something wrong. FML
Today, I was at a store when I saw a cute girl from my school. Trying to act cool, I went to hold the door for her. Too bad it was an automatic door. FML
Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me, "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML
Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the woman's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML
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Top comments
Coop817 19
Hmm weird. That usually works.
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
I smell a challenge.
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Comments (118)
Born2die 11
Okay. The hard way then.
the_awesomest_ 6
Damn bro... I'm sure there are other grannies out there that want a man who's as good in bed as he is opening doors.
StanSmith2013 26
Get in there my son! You may not have got her this time, but there is always next time!
Yunhee_fml 16
Not so sweet...
PhishloverA 14
You got trolled by an old lady. How do you feel about that?
panda_lou 11
Hahaha ballin grandma
In_some_bullshit 13
BEST GRANNY EVER! Laugh about it OP!
asherm 15
Lol!!! I like her sense of humor
saffy66 34
Better luck next time, Stifler.
iilovecokee 6
A lot of us assume, myself included, that the elderly are innocent, sweet, never did wrong beings. In reality though, we share a very similar mentality. Their body is just betraying them. Ask a grandparent if they feel like a former 25 year self that's just trapped in a failing body.