Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up to my whole room ruined, it was a mess and everything was torn and chewed up. I suddenly see a dog walk across the hall. I don't have a dog. FML
Today, I woke up to a note from my parents saying we needed to talk. Assuming it was about the weed I'd left on my dresser, I quickly confessed. Turns out my dog died. FML
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said, "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML
Today, I thought I was home alone, so I started singing to my cat. After a half hour of this, I finally stopped. Then I heard applauding. I turned around to find my parents standing in my doorway. FML
Today, I came home to find a window broken and my neighbours searching inside my house. Apparently, they'd heard a small child asking for help inside my house. I recently taught my dog to "talk." FML
Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML
Today, I heard a scream that sounded suspiciously like my cat when he's just had a nightmare or is otherwise in a state of extreme distress. I found him chilling on my couch, so I walked back to my room, when I heard the scream again. I ran back and he was still chilling. It was my neighbor's son screaming outside. FML
Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML
Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML
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Top comments
metakingt 0
how the hell does a dog dying sound like your parents having sex?
ISellHerbs 0
It was going to happen anyway whether you could have gotten it to a vet or not, there just wasn't enough time. But if you are used to dealing with your parents engaging in those activities, you need draw some borders.
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Comments (219)
Ligerie 0
One Halloween I came home from....well I came home and my parakeet was dead on the bottom of his cage. True story and it scared me shitless.
nimbitty 0
This had better not be foreshadowing! I would stay home all halloween with my bird but my dad is getting married so I have to be away all day. =/
blah123blah 0
I would like to congradulate you for not being one of the people that bitch about their parents having sex.
PoeticPixie 0
I say you deserve it for the simple reason that you thought your parents were doing something in YOUR bedroom. Best believe, if I had heard that, I would NOT have just turned on my music and let them go at it in MY bed. I would have gone in and told them to screw around in their own bed. Had you done that, you would have realized it was your dog, not your parents, and would have been able to get it to the vet.
singachic87 0
Though poorly worded, the OP was in her own bedroom and thought she heard her parents having sex, presumably in their bedroom.
fegd 0
That's horrible, I'm sorry.
hazardharry 0
Why would your parents have sex in YOUR bedroom? Where did you turn up the music? Shouldn't you know your parents were still at work? Didn't you wonder where your dog was? YDI.
Amkii 0
So seriously, wtf? Someone broke in solely to kill your dog?! Good thing you didn't go in, or they probably would have killed you too.
radiocaf 29
OP said she was in her bedroom, she went into her parents bedroom after and found her dog. Frankly I'd like to know what killed the poor dog.
roflmao91 0
dude that sucks . . i'm real sorry =/
thelovely 0
so people murdered your dog in your room without you knowing?? thats terrible! i would be distraught if that happened to me.. even though my dog stays outside the house!
NoNameGer 0
this really is ****** up indeed,I'm sorry
Dunmer 0
YDI for thinking for parents are doing the nasty in YOUR bedroom