Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I woke up to my whole room ruined, it was a mess and everything was torn and chewed up. I suddenly see a dog walk across the hall. I don't have a dog. FML
Today, I woke up to a note from my parents saying we needed to talk. Assuming it was about the weed I'd left on my dresser, I quickly confessed. Turns out my dog died. FML
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said, "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML
Today, I thought I was home alone, so I started singing to my cat. After a half hour of this, I finally stopped. Then I heard applauding. I turned around to find my parents standing in my doorway. FML
Today, I came home to find a window broken and my neighbours searching inside my house. Apparently, they'd heard a small child asking for help inside my house. I recently taught my dog to "talk." FML
Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML
Today, I heard a scream that sounded suspiciously like my cat when he's just had a nightmare or is otherwise in a state of extreme distress. I found him chilling on my couch, so I walked back to my room, when I heard the scream again. I ran back and he was still chilling. It was my neighbor's son screaming outside. FML
Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML
Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML
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Top comments
metakingt 0
how the hell does a dog dying sound like your parents having sex?
ISellHerbs 0
It was going to happen anyway whether you could have gotten it to a vet or not, there just wasn't enough time. But if you are used to dealing with your parents engaging in those activities, you need draw some borders.
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Comments (219)
Lg11 3
This FML makes no sense to me
7man 0
ydi because u think dirty :P
nixxx90 0
how nice of you to let your parents "do it"
RadioBackup 0
Um, guys...I think the point of the fml was that someone was in her house and murdered her dog without her knowing. And that she was there while it happened. To the OP: Check your security if you haven't already. Oh, and sleep with a baseball bat.
ASHLEEBAYBEEx3 4
what dog whispers to die ? maybee he means wimper ? o_O lmao YLS because your poor dog died :( but just becausee theres wispering doesnt mean there doing it . maby if you heard moans and OH YEAHS coming from the room that would equall summ XXX ;] but if you didnt even here a rocking bedd , . . . i dont think they would be doing itt . . lmao anyways poor youu poor dogg and poor parents because they didnt havee sexx thatt nightt or did theyy . . ;]
sondramcfail 0
OP has the same name as a girl I know, except I don't live in Canada... :P OP, I feel bad. It's not like you could have known. :(
unruellie 0
Ummmm.....this one is posted like two weeks ago...total fake!!
Lady_Bow 4
Why would your rents be having sex in YOUR room? and why would whispering sound like sex or a dying dog? and why the **** did you ignore it, you could've at least approached your door to verify the sound better instead of being careless. this one makes no sense. and if it's real, YDI for not caring.
pinkuggs4ever 0
this should be removed
Sparkiee93 3
139 - Just looking for any reason to feel superior I see? 136 - Shut the **** up. You are not charming nor cute with saying stupid little shit. Any way, oh jeez, sorry OP >< FYL