Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I woke up to my whole room ruined, it was a mess and everything was torn and chewed up. I suddenly see a dog walk across the hall. I don't have a dog. FML
Today, I woke up to a note from my parents saying we needed to talk. Assuming it was about the weed I'd left on my dresser, I quickly confessed. Turns out my dog died. FML
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said, "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML
Today, I thought I was home alone, so I started singing to my cat. After a half hour of this, I finally stopped. Then I heard applauding. I turned around to find my parents standing in my doorway. FML
Today, I came home to find a window broken and my neighbours searching inside my house. Apparently, they'd heard a small child asking for help inside my house. I recently taught my dog to "talk." FML
Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML
Today, I heard a scream that sounded suspiciously like my cat when he's just had a nightmare or is otherwise in a state of extreme distress. I found him chilling on my couch, so I walked back to my room, when I heard the scream again. I ran back and he was still chilling. It was my neighbor's son screaming outside. FML
Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML
Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML
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Top comments
metakingt 0
how the hell does a dog dying sound like your parents having sex?
ISellHerbs 0
It was going to happen anyway whether you could have gotten it to a vet or not, there just wasn't enough time. But if you are used to dealing with your parents engaging in those activities, you need draw some borders.
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Comments (219)
jillz 0
They were just clearing away your alarm / guardian so they can come back and get you more easily. Better be prepared.
screwthat 0
Well atleast its her own parents, I had my cousin n her husband do it in my bed EVERY night while they were living at our house.... how do i know? cuz she told me every morning. n i was told to be nice n polite to them all the time because they are new to the country. I had fantasies every night of shipping her back to where she came from... but i cudnt do it. Once they left i tried to move back in my room but the idea was just too disgusting so i moved into a different room :D
FML_DP 0
If you get a chance and that mother ****** comes back KILL his ass
aback 5
Well, he shoulda SPOKE UP.
jonny2x4 0
You would know when your parents are doing it when your dad suddenly yells out "SHAZAM!"
beethoven_fml 0
WHOA BIZARRE sucks
flyboy57 0
this is the saddest FML in a long time.
smishsm0shh 0
Damnn, usually FMLs make me feel better about myself. This just made me feel bad for you. I'm sorry.
PurpDOODE 0
Awww. This is one of the saddest ones yet.
Avenging_Angel 0
This FML is worded so confusingly. At first I thought you meant that you heard people whispering in your bedroom, and you were in another room, and that your parents were having sex in YOUR room. God. Learn to write, people.