Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought it was about time to learn to ride a bike as an adult. I wobbled down the street, lost my balance, and crashed into a parked ice cream truck. The owner yelled at me, and I was left with a bruised ego and no ice cream. FML
Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML
Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML
Today, I was walking to the bus stop. I saw a chunk of ice and attempted to kick it. Sadly it was frozen to the ground, so I fell, broke my toe, and missed the bus. Even the bus driver was laughing as he drove by. FML
Today, I volunteered to go get ice cream if I could use my mother's car. She told me to be VERY careful. Not ten minutes later, I hit a deer, which got up and walked off as though nothing had happened. FML
Today, I finally removed my car insurance after realizing it costs too much money. Since I then had more money, I went to celebrate with ice cream. On the way, I got hit by a truck. FML
Today, I was riding my scooter at a skate park. I was wearing a helmet, but I got hot, so I took it off. Within the next minute, I fell off my scooter and cut my head open. I had to get four stitches. FML
Today, I'm lying in a hospital bed with two broken leg bones, a reattached tendon, and four screws holding my leg together. Why? Because I wanted chocolate milk and some asshat didn't see me walking across the road. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML
Today, it was snowing. I slipped on the ice and fell in the middle of the road, dislocating my left shoulder and knee. As I was screaming in pain and trying to stand up, two boys on the pavement threw snowballs at me while everyone in the cars just drove around me. FML
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Top comments
berichsoon 11
I'm not saying anything since you called yourself an idiot
sarahlouise0506 10
It would all have been worth it if you got that ice cream!
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Comments (96)
amsalwajih 0
The nostalgic bell of the ice cream truck awakens the kid in all of us. Can't blame yourself
br0ccoli 15
Life is saving you from diabetes.
perdix 31
Didn't you get ice cream for being such a brave, little soldier when the doctor stitched you up? Or were you a little crybaby bitch that had a hissyfit?
tonz82 2
This reminds me of the skit in Eddie murphy's stand up "delirious".
Zachthejoker 10
Hey, there's always Dairy Queen.
HeyMondayAddict 4
But nothing compares to the ice cream the ice cream men sell. ):
Zachthejoker 10
Very true
mollysticks 10
Yeah. Dairy Queen if you want to pay 5$ for a scoop...
metalwolf 17
YDI- The ice cream I mean. It would be cruel to say you deserve to get injured running for an ice cream truck. Better luck next time.
ChickInGreenVans 12
Like you said you're an idiot dude!!
patrickalamo 48
Every scar was a story. One day you grandkids will laugh with you.... But you should allow them to chase down the truck for you.
Hc10455 0
How old are you...8?
obviousboy 8
You mean klutz.