Today, I heard that my ex-girlfriend was spreading scurrilous rumours about me all over our university. It appears that I distribute white supremacist propaganda, and that my sexual fantasies involve animals and vegetation. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned my ex-girlfriend has been going around to all of my friends and telling them that I wanted to fuck dead people. No wonder nobody has been talking to me for the past 3 months. FML
Today, I discovered that my ex-girlfriend writes erotic fiction describing all of my moves in intimate detail. The whole internet gets to critique my entire sexual repertoire. FML
Today, I found out that a new coworker was spreading false rumours about me. I confronted her. and she basically ran to management and said I intimidated her even though other colleagues discredited her claims. She now continues spreading the rumours with her fake intimidation charges on top of it all. FML
Today, I found out that the co-worker I have been dating and falling for is the same co-worker that had been spreading rumors about me and getting me in trouble with my boss. FML
Today, I discovered that my supposed 'friend' was spreading rumours about me and my other friends. We confronted her, but then she started crying and playing the victim so everyone would feel sorry for her, then spread more rumours. My friends and I have done nothing to her. FML
Today, I learned that my "friend" told my other friends that I was homophobic, sexist, and racist. None of that is true and she's just trying to turn everyone against me for no reason. She has also apparently been talking BS behind my back. Worst part is I did nothing to her. I don't know what to do now. FML
Today, I had a stranger scream at me that I was a whore and I was trying to steal her boyfriend. She then said my full name, stating my previous hair colour, my recent activities and that her boyfriend had been my year nine dance partner. I officially have a stalker. FML
Today, I got a letter from my mother-in-law stating that demons made her spread rumors about me all over my hometown before my wedding. FML
Today, my co-worker, who used to be in a frat with me in college, decided to tell all my coworkers as well as my boss all the stupid things I did in college, starting with the time a girl stole my clothes and I had to walk across campus naked. FML
Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
trolololololol92 0
Spread stuff about her, this is war!
dissdawg 5
I'm assuming this was a bad breakup
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (125)
WCARlover 35
Yeah, sounds like it should be on FML or somethi--oh wait :P
Grimmerie 31
No one puts baby in a corner!
bubo_fml 11
Mess w/ their minds...Next time you're in the cafeteria line, order nothing but whole cucumbers, carrots & celery stalks, etc...
Pelreskovich 11
*********** and veggies, that's kinky OP!
heitwl 1
I really wouldn't even try to respond to bed allegations the sound far fetched
loserman67 36
Downside: you lose all your friends... Upside: you are now free to copulate with cantalopue, rape rutabaga, molest melons, lick lemons, finger figs, kiss kumkuats, jerkoff jackfruit, penetrate peaches, assualt apples, hump honeydews, bang bananas, pump passon fruit or whatever else your heart desires.
mariejinx 1
your comment made my day! Lmao
mk58 31
Now every article you named here will forever have a sexual connotation in my eyes.
Ugi 27
How can it have a sexual connotation in your eyes? There are much better places, you know.
Purrfect 9
If this took you more than 5 minutes, consider your imagination broken.
DocBastard 40
I may have misread this, but after reading this I believe I can now confirm that you only enjoy penetrating polar bears with white celery and turnips.
TheDrifter 24
you forgot Cauliflower and those freaky white Japanese radishes, you make it sound like op is short on options Doc, I'm sure he'll manage.
BronyVasNormandy 12
Welcome to 4chan. Enjoy your stay.
mrmerino 0
I don't know about white supremacy, but that last part...
jimka4418 0
Tell everyone y'all broke up cause you found out she getting a transgender procedure