Today, I heard that my ex-girlfriend was spreading scurrilous rumours about me all over our university. It appears that I distribute white supremacist propaganda, and that my sexual fantasies involve animals and vegetation. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned my ex-girlfriend has been going around to all of my friends and telling them that I wanted to fuck dead people. No wonder nobody has been talking to me for the past 3 months. FML
Today, I discovered that my ex-girlfriend writes erotic fiction describing all of my moves in intimate detail. The whole internet gets to critique my entire sexual repertoire. FML
Today, I found out that a new coworker was spreading false rumours about me. I confronted her. and she basically ran to management and said I intimidated her even though other colleagues discredited her claims. She now continues spreading the rumours with her fake intimidation charges on top of it all. FML
Today, I found out that the co-worker I have been dating and falling for is the same co-worker that had been spreading rumors about me and getting me in trouble with my boss. FML
Today, I discovered that my supposed 'friend' was spreading rumours about me and my other friends. We confronted her, but then she started crying and playing the victim so everyone would feel sorry for her, then spread more rumours. My friends and I have done nothing to her. FML
Today, I learned that my "friend" told my other friends that I was homophobic, sexist, and racist. None of that is true and she's just trying to turn everyone against me for no reason. She has also apparently been talking BS behind my back. Worst part is I did nothing to her. I don't know what to do now. FML
Today, I had a stranger scream at me that I was a whore and I was trying to steal her boyfriend. She then said my full name, stating my previous hair colour, my recent activities and that her boyfriend had been my year nine dance partner. I officially have a stalker. FML
Today, I got a letter from my mother-in-law stating that demons made her spread rumors about me all over my hometown before my wedding. FML
Today, my co-worker, who used to be in a frat with me in college, decided to tell all my coworkers as well as my boss all the stupid things I did in college, starting with the time a girl stole my clothes and I had to walk across campus naked. FML
Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML
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Top comments
trolololololol92 0
Spread stuff about her, this is war!
dissdawg 5
I'm assuming this was a bad breakup
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Comments (125)
RedPillSucks 33
Tell them you're vegan, so you're not into ******* animals.
trollierthanthou 1
tell people that the reason you broke up is because she had a penis........ BITCH GOTTA PENIS!
birdcagereligion 10
Just ignore it. People wouldn't believe it, I'm sure.
glittercookies 12
I know I am
br0ccoli 15
Am I the only one that had to look up scurrilous??
someone_cool 6
What a asshole! Sue her or something.
ThermiteKitten 8
Find a racist farmer with a hot daughter, date the daughter, tell him that you're just coming over for the goats and corn.
Lil_Ojeda 4
Tell her to stop telling lies or you'll shoot her in the back of her head and f*** the bullet hole until she dies....
L3g4lPl4typus 0
then just make worse sh*t up about her
scuttlebuttz 1
Know that feel. Word In high school was that I ****** penguins. How would I even find penguins to ****?