Health: Today, I have blue lips because of a guy whose face I don't even... - FML

By Unknown - 26/10/2008 12:56 - France

Today, I have blue lips because of a guy whose face I don't even remember didn't know the difference between kissing and sucking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 245

You deserved it 26 172

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Same thing different taste

Bad, so bad

By Anonymous - 14/11/2015 07:20 - United States

Today, the man of my dreams turned out to be the worst kisser I've ever encountered. I now have a huge hickey on my chin to remember the experience by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 907

You deserved it 2 335

By Sad_Happy_Gorl - 14/06/2019 16:00

Today, after getting together with the guy who I like, and who actually likes me back, he finally kissed me. Unfortunately, he kisses like he’s trying to suck out my soul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 707

You deserved it 216

Classic move

By qyx3lmnop24 - 20/12/2014 07:33 - United States - Napa

Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 414

You deserved it 5 074

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 11/08/2021 00:01

Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 76

By nina - 11/08/2010 16:04 - Luxembourg

Today, I was talking to a friend about this stranger I kissed a few nights ago while drinking. I commented that I was ashamed of doing so, and to make matters worse, the guy was really unattractive. It turns out he was no stranger. I'd kissed my friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 663

You deserved it 40 883

By Anonymous - 20/05/2009 18:34 - United States

Today, my friend and I decided to wear a new red lipstick. The guy I like turned around, looked at her and said, "Red is a really interesting, sexy color. Pretty bold. Not bad." and he smiled. I waited, smiling also, only for him frown and say, "Your teeth are REALLY yellow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 072

You deserved it 17 583

By Anonymous - 20/03/2011 03:30 - United States

Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 026

You deserved it 5 095

Dealbreaker

By banarama - 05/02/2021 07:54

Today, I found out that the person I'm seeing is a terrible kisser. I really like them, but it's awful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 192

By Anonymous - 03/02/2015 18:23 - United States - Cheyenne

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 272

You deserved it 2 908

By leeceetaylor99 - 15/07/2013 16:47 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 851

You deserved it 3 879

Next

Top comments

inlimbo11 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 22:37

who the **** kisses like that? i didn't even know such a problem existed. weird.

laceyxx 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 6:16

i agree with #11. if he sucked so bad, no pun intended, then why didn't you just stop getting your face sucked off?

Comments

LadyD3e 1

Monday 6 February 2012 7:09

that's happened to me twice. made me not like the guys as much as I did before. and left me with a painful lip!

sapperdad 0

Tuesday 17 July 2012 2:39

was he a smurf..

beezleboss2010 3

Wednesday 28 November 2012 5:08

****

glacier1 2

Saturday 12 January 2013 9:12

My lips turned blue too after kissing! How long does it last? What can I do to help heal it????????????????????

militarybrat 21

Saturday 14 September 2013 4:50

Eh my husband does it because he knows i like it rough and gets carried away sometimes. Fyl, because it doesnt sound like u enjoyed it :(

HighasaCloud 46

Tuesday 17 September 2013 0:56

I can't think of too many unique things to say for each FML and I want the 100 kick-ass comments badge so I thought I'd post them all in the far reaches of this website where hopefully nobody will really read through the comments and downvote me. Hazzah

GreatWish 1

Tuesday 29 September 2015 13:23

OMG!! I had it today. My lips got too much bluish purple color. It looks weird. Everyone ask from me wht happend. Oh!! how can I say he sucked me very hardlyy. My first kiss. How can I get rid of this purple color. I want it soon. I have to go school. My neck is bleeding. too much pain!! Plz tell me how can I reduce this lip color.

tin_cup 27

Tuesday 15 March 2016 7:49

And how old was he?

28actress 22

Saturday 14 May 2016 15:48

At least they sound like they were very sweet about it; trying to comfort you and all

revan546 24

Saturday 14 May 2016 15:55

Maybe sensitive feelings are just in your DNA. You get it? Because this was published in a place called nucleotide?? K I'll see myself out.

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The Top

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 051

You deserved it 7 252

Today, I had to text my landlord to tell him I’m gonna be short on rent. The guy who mugged me last night took the money I made from tips that was supposed to complete my rent. He replied, “Wow that’s wild. I don’t know how you’re gonna come up with the rest by 11:59 tonight, or you’re evicted in 30 days.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 125

The Top

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's new friend is actually her "replacement". They met a few months ago, and she's really cool, we share the same interests, it's nice to spend time with her, etc., but my girlfriend planned to break up with me and "trained" her because she doesn't want me to be lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 131

Today, my family and I watched Madagascar 2. When we got to the part where Gloria the hippopotamus is praised for her chunkyness, my little sister looked at me and said, "If you were a hippo, maybe then you would get a date." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 153

You deserved it 7 416

Today, I got fired from my job after I wouldn’t lend my friend $1000. How? She retaliated by taking time out of her hands to compile screenshots of all my Facebook posts about talking shit about my boss and coworkers and e-mailing them to our corporate e-mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 1 528

Today, when I tried to give blood, I was turned down before I even made it through the information packet. Why? Because I had thought I was supposed to fast for 24 hours beforehand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 3 504

Today, I was telling one of my patients I was upset because my sister wants to go to beauty school, and that I don't want her getting a worthless qualification and to aim higher. My patient replied saying she is a hair dresser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 823

You deserved it 46 053

Today, I was rudely stopped in the park by a woman screaming at me for being a slut for having a baby so young. She got so worked up that she started swearing. Not only was I just babysitting for a friend, I am unable to get the toddler to stop swearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 969

You deserved it 3 122