By SleepIsForTheWeak - Canada - St. John's Today, I had to work a double shift after my relief called in "sick" just so he could go to a party. FML I agree, your life sucks 30806 You deserved it 2548 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By father-in-nope - United States - San Francisco Today, my boyfriend's dad helped me put coolant in my car. When I said I wished I could do something in return, he told me to get an abortion so I wouldn't "ruin" his son's life. When I told my boyfriend, he didn't believe me. FML I agree, your life sucks 29353 You deserved it 2737 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By only child says fuck you mom - United States - Holly Springs Today, I overheard my mom talking to a friend on the phone. What caught my attention was when she said: "You ever look at your kid and just think... 'Fuck. Where'd I go wrong?'" FML I agree, your life sucks 22621 You deserved it 2414 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I came out to my therapist as gay. Claiming that my parents "can't be that homophobic", my therapist outed me to them. They kicked me out of the house. FML I agree, your life sucks 5726 You deserved it 420 37 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AshleyP - United Kingdom Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark only to discover it was poo. After further investigation, I find out my younger sister had been wearing them and 'experimenting'. FML I agree, your life sucks 47208 You deserved it 4512 128 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AgentOrion - United States - Bessemer Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML I agree, your life sucks 42155 You deserved it 5883 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I found out that one of my subordinates, who is whiny, incompetent, undermining, the definition of passive-aggressive and stupid, was given a pay raise. She now makes more than me. My boss values a complete moron over me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1586 You deserved it 246 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, I was chosen to MC a function at work. I developed a terrible case of hiccups which made the audience giggle and groan for the duration of my time on stage. FML I agree, your life sucks 26343 You deserved it 3263 105 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By perpetuallyscrewed Today, after nearly eight months of unemployment, I started a great new job. After seven and a half hours of work, my new boss comes up to tell me what a great job I was doing, but that he somehow forgot to clear the new hire with the company owner, so I'm fired. Hello, unemployment... again. FML I agree, your life sucks 38772 You deserved it 2169 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By PixiXOXO - Denmark - Birker?d Today, I realised just how cripplingly self-conscious I am, when I couldn't even fantasise about having sex with a guy without feeling shy and insecure about my body. FML I agree, your life sucks 31545 You deserved it 5391 188 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my fiancé turned 21. I stayed up and took care of him for 3 hours while he puked his guts out. When I FINALLY get him to bed, he jumps up and rips the lid off a plastic container on the floor and pukes in it. It was full of all my yearbooks, baby pictures, and childhood memories. FML I agree, your life sucks 153262 You deserved it 14325 164 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By caqi33 - United States Today, I dropped my urine sample on my pants. Not only do I now not have a sample, it looks like I pissed myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 30138 You deserved it 8975 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I moved back into my room, which I'd sublet for a few months. The subtenant never paid any rent and is gone, but she did leave me something: my own underwear on the floor, which she apparently liked to wear, but didn't seem to like to wash. FML I agree, your life sucks 1497 You deserved it 252 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Trouble Today, at work, I was informed that my manager told the owner, "Everything wrong with my department" is me. FML I agree, your life sucks 4213 You deserved it 422 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Miss<Younger>Beyoncé - Namibia - Windhoek Today, I was boxing up all my brother's old stuff to take to the attic. I came across a box, and without checking what was inside, I took it up, just to have it fall on my head, to then find out it was filled with dead baby hamsters. FML I agree, your life sucks 39729 You deserved it 3905 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - 15/11/2020 05:02 - United States Don't blame me Today, I got suspended from school for smoking in the stairs. I'm grounded for a month without my phone, TV or any type of social connection. All of this would seem like a fair enough punishment if I actually smoked, but instead I just smell like my parent's second-hand smoke. FML I agree, your life sucks 1348 You deserved it 107 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jeremiah - Australia Today, I let my brother borrow my car, as he had a job interview. I told him the tank was nearly empty and gave him $20 to put some petrol in it. Ten minutes later, he calls me, saying the car won't start. He filled it up with diesel. It's a petrol car. FML I agree, your life sucks 36665 You deserved it 4610 186 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 30/12/2020 17:01 Masterchef 2020 Today, I invented a new fusion cuisine delicacy: cigarette-flavored apple sauce. The recipe? Cram so many apple pieces in a pot that they will burn on the bottom, even with plenty of water in it, then go away for 30 minutes and wonder what the bad smell is. FML I agree, your life sucks 194 You deserved it 711 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hm - United States - Rio Rancho Today, I was sitting in the airport, watching the baggage handlers load the plane I was about to get on. They were being really rough with it, one bag came open and all the clothes spilled out onto the tarmac. The clothes looked familiar. They were mine. FML I agree, your life sucks 33847 You deserved it 2290 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ilovecowboys - New Zealand Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML I agree, your life sucks 26783 You deserved it 7001 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dannij08 - United States Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML I agree, your life sucks 7409 You deserved it 43256 41 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I decided to sleep in for 5 extra minutes. Those 5 extra minutes became 55 minutes, which, coincidentally, was roughly the length of the midterm I missed. FML I agree, your life sucks 14578 You deserved it 35675 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By livingonmyownfromnowon - United States - Olivehurst Today, after evicting my roommate for excessively not abiding by the lease agreements, he thought he could get back at me by sending me a video of my sister giving him head. FML I agree, your life sucks 18616 You deserved it 1518 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By imahater07 Today, my family decided to break tradition and wake up at midnight to open presents. I didn't find out until I went downstairs to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, and found wrapping paper and empty boxes everywhere. FML I agree, your life sucks 24137 You deserved it 1681 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Awks - Australia - Bendigo Today, my grandmother and I turned up to a family function wearing the same outfit. FML I agree, your life sucks 27936 You deserved it 6059 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML I agree, your life sucks 32734 You deserved it 4710 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I discovered that my husband is a tad paranoid after finding out that our cat has worms. He and I were in the middle of sharing a romantic shower following something of a dry spell when he bent over, spread his cheeks apart and asked, in earnest, "is there a worm sticking out of my ass?" FML I agree, your life sucks 38447 You deserved it 3662 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I came home from my 2 week trip to Florida. At the airport, the door said "Enter Only", while a sign above it said "Do not enter." Long story short, I got arrested for "disobeying signs." Nothing says "Welcome home" like being arrested. FML I agree, your life sucks 30730 You deserved it 4768 172 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CRC - United States Damned freshmen Today, a freshman set off the fire alarm in my dorm at 2 a.m. He tried to microwave Easy Mac without adding water. I had to stand outside for 45 minutes while the firemen moved the noodles to the sink and ran cold water over them. FML I agree, your life sucks 29214 You deserved it 2367 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By juliearis - United States - Westport Today, my husband received the "antique" samurai sword that he bought on Craigslist with $399.99 of our money. He only shared my outrage at the waste of money when he opened the package, only to find a toy sword along with a note saying, "HAHA, TROLLED." FML I agree, your life sucks 58669 You deserved it 10258 179 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By catguy - United States Today, and for quite some time, my girlfriend has been telling me that she needs to go home each night to take care of her cat. Taking care of her cat is, it seems, an euphemism for having it off with her neighbor Tom since her cat died three months ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 48534 You deserved it 3777 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was in the dressing room of my favorite store. While looking in the mirror at a shirt I really like, the fire alarm went off. In a panic, I ran out of the store like everyone else. The sensor went off on my shirt and I was banned from the store for attempted theft. FML I agree, your life sucks 59518 You deserved it 4790 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dre_bro11 - Australia Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 33980 You deserved it 12441 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By howaboutthemcarrots - Finland - Laajalahti Today, I decided to be healthy and make a fresh juice out of carrots and apples. Apparently, something had gone bad and now my asshole feels like a bomb just went off inside it. Good start to a healthy lifestyle. FML I agree, your life sucks 28269 You deserved it 4161 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Satan's Lil elf Today, I broke my mirror off going to the drive-through at McDonald's. Even the cashier watching was like, "Fuck, dude." FML I agree, your life sucks 1472 You deserved it 1802 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By blue15564 - United States - Davenport Today, my dad grounded me for not having any friends. FML I agree, your life sucks 11278 You deserved it 1128 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By my bravado's gonna kill me one day Today, as a big fan of spicy food and a huge challenge seeker, I decided to try the hottest burger I could order. Despite being warned by a waitress, I went for it. After eating a third, I had trouble breathing from the spiciness. The waitress was smirking. FML I agree, your life sucks 1215 You deserved it 3696 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Wrongtoilet - Singapore Today, I was at a new shopping mall. After an hour, I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Spotting one, I ran inside, locked myself in a cubicle and relieved myself. The toilet paper was out so I knocked on the cubicle beside me to ask for some. A lady's voice answered. She needed some too. FML I agree, your life sucks 35754 You deserved it 5439 105 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By HBCruiser Today, I’m sitting in my living room, smelling onions frying. My house is all closed up. I’m not cooking anything. FML I agree, your life sucks 1434 You deserved it 150 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Port-menier Today, I found out my mom recently stopped taking her medication. I came home to find she'd shot my dog because she thought he was possessed by the devil. FML I agree, your life sucks 42532 You deserved it 2173 215 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Los Angeles Today, on a first date, he told me I look like his ex's mom. FML I agree, your life sucks 12136 You deserved it 927 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mitchellbassists | 29 #6237519 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:13 I hope you have the nerve to talk to your boss, to get him reprimanded. Send a private message 128 6 Reply
By _kyleG_ | 34 #6237552 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:25 Doing the same to him as revenge would be satisfying, but dishonest. Let karma get his bitch ass Send a private message 83 5 Reply
By Mitchellbassists | 29 #6237519 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:13 I hope you have the nerve to talk to your boss, to get him reprimanded. Send a private message 128 6 Reply
Reply LunaaBluee | 27 #6237613 - Friday 20 March 2015 1:31 I don't think op should snitch.. At the end of the day karma will get that guy, there's no need to intervene. Send a private message 5 29 Reply
Reply sadistmonkey | 19 #6237663 - Friday 20 March 2015 2:37 "At the end of the day karma will get that guy" How do you know? Send a private message 19 1 Reply
Reply False_Stupidity | 41 #6237779 - Friday 20 March 2015 4:47 No harm in giving karma a little helping hand... Send a private message 13 0 Reply
By UmmOkThen | 31 #6237526 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:15 Well that just stinks. You should do the same thing next time he asks you to cover him. Send a private message 3 18 Reply
Reply MrSassypants | 32 #6237574 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:46 Weird enough, when you said cover him I thought of a war zone as opposed to a shift. "COVER ME I'M RELOADING!" "Oooooh, sorry I can't. Jenna is having a party and I promised I'll bring the chips." Send a private message 39 0 Reply
Reply peacheso | 31 #6237587 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:58 That's immature. I believe OP is bigger than that #2. Just leave it to karma, she never fails. Send a private message 13 6 Reply
By netflixislove | 32 #6237528 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:16 Looks like you'll be going to more party's now. Send a private message 20 12 Reply
By ComoEsJuan | 24 #6237529 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:16 Make him work your next shift. Send a private message 10 5 Reply
By Gaernem | 17 #6237536 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:19 Jokes on him, he's not going to have money for the next party now. Send a private message 9 19 Reply
Reply photographer49 | 22 #6237634 - Friday 20 March 2015 2:08 #6 I don't think missing one shift will make OP'S coworker go broke and plus unless your in high school who pays to go to a party? Send a private message 12 1 Reply
By Jake42100 | 17 #6237537 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:20 At least you're getting paid bro... Send a private message 15 5 Reply
By eyebrowzzz | 21 #6237540 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:20 That sucks, do it to him next Send a private message 2 9 Reply
By _kyleG_ | 34 #6237552 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:25 Doing the same to him as revenge would be satisfying, but dishonest. Let karma get his bitch ass Send a private message 83 5 Reply
By abNormal62 | 23 #6237560 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:29 Share the facebook link with your manager for the after party high lights Send a private message 16 3 Reply
Today, I'm in love with my best friend, while also being in love with my wife. I know he has feelings for me too. I wish my wife was poly too. FML I agree, your life sucks 92 You deserved it 281 4 Comments
Today, I found out that my cross-dressing father and my recently deceased mother were having a much more "open" relationship then they'd let on, when the... I agree, your life sucks 298 You deserved it 48 3 Comments