Work: Today, I had to visit a client because his printer had broken...

By Anonymous - 03/09/2013 19:50 - United States

Today, I had to visit a client because his printer had broken down. After driving for an hour, then being screamed at about how horrible my company's service is, I walked over to his printer and found the problem: there was no paper loaded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 309

You deserved it 3 114

Work

Our house, in the middle of our street

Own it

Consolation prize

By OneGirlsLife - 15/06/2017 06:00 - United States - Spartanburg

Today, it was supposed to be my birthday dinner with two of my friends. They're both now bringing their boyfriends, so I get to be the fifth wheel to my own birthday dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 839

You deserved it 358

By mrmatt008 - 17/07/2009 12:07 - France

Today, I got back to work from a 3 week vacation. My boss had asked me to get him something so when I returned I presented him with a shotglass with the British flag on it. I later found out that he is a recovering alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 961

You deserved it 7 487

Which is worse

By Anonymous - 27/07/2021 19:01 - United States - Hot Springs National Park

Today, I found out that my best friend of 25 years, who doesn't believe that her boyfriend raped me, unfriended me on Nintendo Switch online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 114

Missed opportunities

By Anonymous - 13/07/2020 08:01

Today, I turned down a chance to go to a bar with a girl I like because I have an autoimmune disorder and don't want to get sick because of being irresponsible and obviously COVID 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 702

You deserved it 237

Got a screw loose

By stupid^2 - 04/10/2021 20:00

Today, I did something you never ever should do. I removed the screw in the shower drain. What I didn't know was that it's impossible to know if the shower will leak afterwards. I just wanted to properly clean the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 248

By Anonymous - 10/12/2010 23:59 - United States

Today, while browsing YouTube, I looked at the section "Recommended for You." I saw a video titled "How to get a girlfriend." Even YouTube thinks I can't get one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 034

You deserved it 5 464

By whoababy55 - 21/08/2009 17:07 - United States

Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 372

You deserved it 2 624

By yeueid - 31/03/2016 22:24 - Estonia

Today, I found out that whenever I text my boyfriend something cute, he texts his friends and asks what to say in his reply. Basically, I've been talking to his friends all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 446

You deserved it 1 722

By Anonymous - 29/06/2013 14:57 - United States

Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 602

You deserved it 39 760

By Anonymous - 03/06/2009 01:33 - Australia

Today, my bank card was skimmed (copied electronically) and my account was totally cleaned out. I had only just got paid and don't get paid again for 4 weeks. The bank says it will take 21 days minimum to resolve. They offered me a credit card with a huge interest rate to help me get by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 268

You deserved it 2 683

By girlsgottagotoo - 26/06/2016 20:52 - United States - Covina

Today, I passed a cashier when I came into a store. Later I passed him again as I was leaving, and he asked me if I needed help finding something because I had been in the store for a while. I told him I had been browsing upstairs, but in reality, I had been in the restroom the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 550

You deserved it 1 504

By Wolf145 - 11/10/2012 05:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a haunted house opened up next to my restaurant and they've gotten into the habit of scaring me as I'm cleaning up at night. They stay open for another month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 795

You deserved it 2 206

Get the hell out of Dodge

By Anonymous - 18/10/2020 20:02

Today, I realized I'm happier and life is better when my husband isn't around. He isn't abusive, just lazy and uninvolved. We have young kids and I don't know how to leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 228

You deserved it 226

By perverted teenage girl - 29/11/2016 21:51

Today, my crush was giving a presentation in class. I zoned out and began staring off into space - which happened to be in the exact direction of his crotch. When I realized what I was doing, I quickly looked up at his face. He was already looking at me, with an expression of severe discomfort. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 040

You deserved it 1 862

By anonymous - 16/08/2013 14:05 - United States - Grandville

Today, at the yacht club I work at a girl ordered a Portabella wrap. She asked for no cheese or veggies, just the Portabellas. After she got the sandwich and ate half of it, she sent it back saying she didn't know it had mushrooms in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 576

You deserved it 3 319

The money is still yours

By Anonymous - 29/09/2021 14:01

Today, after I took extra shifts to be able take the woman I loved out for special weekend, she dumped me and now I'm working extra shift for no reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 102

By cheersdaddy - 08/06/2011 14:51 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad was given 2 VIP tickets to see my favourite band in concert next week. You can now find them on eBay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 588

You deserved it 4 226

By sister of an angry nerd - 23/12/2015 06:09

Today, I went to see Star Wars with my brother. The entire time he talked about how scientifically inaccurate and improbable the entire movie was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 307

You deserved it 3 147

Mystery woman

By Anonymous - 15/02/2021 07:58

Today, my husband of 4 years is tagged in a #ValentinesDayChallenge post on Facebook. No, I didn’t tag him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 85

By COCKYmanUSC - 12/09/2011 02:50 - United States

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by. The attackers used water guns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 021

You deserved it 6 432

By belieber101 - 17/03/2012 12:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I have been left home alone, the electricity has cut out, and I am petrified of the dark. I am stuck downstairs making karate noises every few minutes to scare off creepers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 941

You deserved it 13 816

By lk07 - 12/07/2019 16:00

Today, when I bent down to get something off a low shelf at the grocery store, I felt my shorts split wide open at the butt. All my husband did was make jokes about "that's not how you do the splits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 444

You deserved it 213

By Tyguy3000 - 19/06/2017 06:00 - United States

Today, I asked a woman to take a picture of me and my girlfriend kissing on the beach. When I looked up, the woman and my phone were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 090

You deserved it 2 932

By YeahItsmecoolhuh - 17/02/2011 06:50 - United Arab Emirates

Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 493

You deserved it 4 967

By storyofmylife - 10/06/2015 02:44 - Canada - Truro

Today, my boyfriend and I were hanging out when he suddenly said, "Do you know who I think is the most beautiful girl in the world?" I prepared myself for a cute compliment, until he showed me a picture of another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 727

You deserved it 2 765

By grrrr - 12/02/2011 19:00 - United States

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Feeling bad, I texted him a few hours later apologizing. He said it was fine and that he went ahead and picked up a girl from the mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 105

You deserved it 48 097

By Username - 20/10/2010 18:08 - France

Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 596

You deserved it 3 475

Customer relationships

By UnemployedGirl - 02/07/2021 19:59

Today, I assisted a customer at work. She was asking me all sorts of stupid questions and acting like an entitled, spoiled brat. When she left, since I had a mask on, I meant to mouth, "Stupid bitch" but I blurted it out loud. Everyone heard. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 1 407

By NaKreen - 30/07/2012 22:21 - Sweden - Bor

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 123

You deserved it 31 953

By Anonymous - 07/02/2015 11:51 - United States - Desoto

Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 576

You deserved it 4 621

By Anonymous - 27/12/2013 22:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 892

You deserved it 7 218

Introverts of the world can relate

By Trooper - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Caterham

Today, I saw the postman approach my house through the window, and my immediate reaction was to drop to the floor in fear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 292

You deserved it 2 450

By heck - 12/08/2016 13:57

Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 131

You deserved it 18 408

By schnegg - 23/04/2016 17:33 - Switzerland

Today, the firm I work at informed all the employees about our annual staff trip. So, we're going to a tomato festival and everything is already planned and booked. I'm allergic to tomatoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 346

You deserved it 1 342

By fml - 02/02/2011 09:48

Today, while my boyfriend was inside me, he got a text message. He actually stopped thrusting to reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 953

You deserved it 6 099

By Modeon123 - 20/10/2016 10:11 - Korea, Republic of - Seoul

Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right inside my mouth. My tongue got stung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 395

You deserved it 1 150

By anonymous - 07/05/2014 23:06 - United States

Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 949

You deserved it 5 688

By maaaryy - 07/01/2009 05:53 - France

Today, I went into a shop, not really completely awake. To get to the upper floor, I took the escalator... in the wrong direction. After about 30 seconds (which seemed like hours) trying to climb up the wrong way, my brain started working and by that time I already had a few amused spectators watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 151

You deserved it 9 361

By catsonuincorns - 15/04/2018 06:00 - United States - Clovis

Today, I was in a car accident with my dad. A wheel slammed into my door, dislocating my arm and breaking it in three places. Later on, the people who hit us came over and gave my little sister a gift basket. She wasn't even in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 448

You deserved it 225

By ... - 07/02/2014 20:30 - United States - Glen Carbon

Today, I told my professor that I'll be missing class next week due to upcoming surgery. I asked if I could take the exam that I'd otherwise miss another day. He said no, and that I'd just have to take a failing grade, then wished me luck with the surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 719

You deserved it 4 053

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Top comments

AirbornTable 12

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Tuesday 3 September 2013 23:58

Some people....

RoseBlack123 37

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Tuesday 3 September 2013 23:58

Make sure you charge him extra

AirbornTable 12

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Tuesday 3 September 2013 23:58

Some people....

RodzillaX 30

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 0:05

......are fucking stupid.....

RedPillSucks 31

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 0:30

sung to the Dramatics "Whatcha see is whatcha get" Sigh... Yes, I'm that old.

Paladine_fml 4

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 1:35

You would think a simple phone call could have resolved this.

michaelaranda 28

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 4:36

Have to spend quite a bit of money and time to fix something they could easily have taken care of themselves. Smh.

ohgeejosee 19

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 6:59

You should have just been like, "I dont even know, looks like youll have to buy a whole new one.." Just because he was so dumb

Caitie_kid 8

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 8:29

I know! This reminds me of the lady who locked herself in her car without her keys, and couldn't figure out how to get out because the power locks weren't working. She called the police freaking out and the lady was like "mam can't you just unlock the lock with your fingers?" Lady: "......" Super hilarious, the police recording is on YouTube.

mrsleepylk 1

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Tuesday 3 September 2013 23:58

you should have filled it with pin paper

subiedude08 17

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 2:20

You should have came up with a better comment

Shootermtd25 7

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 13:40

No he should of taken the printer and thrown it at the clients head

RoseBlack123 37

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Tuesday 3 September 2013 23:58

Make sure you charge him extra

CocaColaPepsi 13

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 5:31

why? I'm mean what was the client supposed to do, fill it himself? disclaimer: joke

RoseBlack123 37

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 7:04

Exactly, the client should pay OP for "fixing" the printer, and an extra stupidity fee

ineedalogin 19

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 8:45

Companies should have policies where clients have to pay extra for being a dumb ass

Sal_G_63 5

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 10:37

^Yes! All of my yes! I deal with dumbasses on a regular basis, so something like that could hopefully thin the herd.

ArielTheMermaid 17

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Tuesday 3 September 2013 23:59

I hope you told him what an idiot he is

Sandsh8rk 36

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 4:23

No, because then he would complain to the company.

Zack6849 8

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 10:14

It's called a ID10T error for a reason ;)

DanielleinDC 32

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 16:49

There's also PEBCAK (Problem Exists Between Chair and Keyboard).

mackdeezy 21

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Tuesday 3 September 2013 23:59

Stupidity is a plague these days

Cricketman 10

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 0:00

That must have been a jam.

HowieDoIt 21

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 1:04

I'm not sure if I like your tone.

Zaros_fml 24

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 1:40

I don't have an inkling of an idea what's going on in this thread.

katnissmellark_fml 15

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 4:17

Wakka wakka!!

ohSNAPyall 26

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 7:59

OP is the prints of electronics repair.

GEFStryker 29

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 16:35

*facepalm*

Jaaared_ 15

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 0:00

You should've asked on the phone. People are idiots nowadays and you have to make sure.

calilovesneb 12

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 0:01

How can one be so incapable of solving such a simple problem on their own...

SamCat 21

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 4:50

My husband is a tech and you'd be surprised at the amount of computers he fixes weekly just by plugging them into the outlets lol ^_^

Sal_G_63 5

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 10:39

@8 it's simple: 'merica!

xx000o 27

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 11:46

Stupidity is rampant these days.

blankjack 6

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Thursday 5 September 2013 19:35

It says he is from the USA, I would say this is common there ..

Alikia96 20

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 0:02

Stuff him inside the printer and set the ink to 100% dark

mFUNdo21 17

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 0:42

what if he's already dark?

Warmonger_Smurf 29

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 0:52

Or out of toner.

mario2012 18

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 0:02

I'm lost at the corner of Faith and Humanity.

Welshite 39

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 0:05

It's a corner. Not exactly easy to get lost.

mario2012 18

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Wednesday 4 September 2013 0:06

Point taken. Joke fail.

Nearly

Today, I feel like I'm going crazy as I'm in a 2-year relationship with a guy who's 17 years older than me (I'm 23). He's a wonderful partner and I'm totally in love, but the age gap causes monthly, sometimes daily, shifts between wanting to have it all with him, and wanting to leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 39

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 23

Spicy

Today, I found out on Facebook that my mom and step-dad have an open marriage. To make matters worse, my step-dad shamed me for not being more sex positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 58

Today, I found out why my husband faked being sick on Thanksgiving. He was invited to Thanksgiving dinner by to the coworker he’s seeing. She was planning to introduce him to her family. He never told her he was married, so knowing I would tag along if he came, he faked having a “fever” so he couldn’t go out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 27

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