By OhaiiKid - 07/03/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks 11 480
You deserved it 26 051

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/01/2010 16:35 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM, and I'd just finished watching a scary movie, so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep, when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks 10 558
You deserved it 29 175

Top comments


TempestJones 0

Not so much paranoid as scared silly... Poor OP.. Your heart was prolly going gets a million miles a second!!!

Either paranoid or suffering from PTSD. Or maybe your printer is serious about getting some paper by any means necessary. ("I need that paper now, b****! Don't make me hurt you!") I can't imagine why else it would sound like a gun being loaded.

its not paranoid. it was ******* darkk mayn. i wouldve done the same.

AnonymousGalifrey 1

i would have probably shot the printer if i was in that situation

nothing wrong with that better safe than sorry

ha. sounds like something that I would do, not as extreme though. ;)

o no that happened 2 me i thot that sum1 was behind me, just the papers in my hand brushing the door.

Dwight_A_R_Manag 0

Even if there was someone with a gun dropping to the floor won't save you.

saywaturcoco 0

I heard the sound of a key in the keyhole everytime i bad everyone was home...sleeping!

gigi_bella 0

"Feed me the frickin' paper already or the assignment gets it!"

epicfailburger 0

you should have called the cops. they would've negotiated with the printer into letting you go.

Or the person got scared shitless. I would do the same thing if I heard something like that in the dark. I doubt he's paranoid.

alleyx3 0

I get paranoid too when nobodys home xD

nolasaints 0

haha that's a really funny story but it doesn't qualify as a fml.

mn_mpls 0

killah jay something tells me you live in a trailer park somewhere in Alabama.

lf that was me that printer would have a bigass bullet hole in it

Itzmeh 0

Hmm probably wouldn't have happened if somebody replaced the ink every once in a while...

holy crap, that's scary. especially if you live in a bad part of town.

Gabaloka 0

the printer was out of paper, not ink. read first.

starberries 0

#114, it's bad to stereotype people based on their race, but it's OK if it's based on where they're from? Hypocrite!

OP is an idiot. How dumb do you have to be to drop to the floor on hearing a printer sound? YDI

I'd bet you would do the same. Oh wait, you're "smart"

phreshboi 1

this reminds me of ace Ventura when he's in the storage and steps on the bubblewrap! hahahaha good times

LtHoward 0

Lol half asleep or what? I've never confused my printer with a gun. I did get scared by a dog I saw at work once that chased my friend around only to learn that putting up my hand like I was gonna throw something at it scared it off haha

Little do they know, their printer is actually Optimus Prime.

Word, it's not like I'm attractive or anything.

kaleid0scopeEyes 0

#35 do you want to be the one to tell the pervy dudes that 98% of girls with "hot pix" on the internet are actually obese women or middle aged male truckers who like the attention from young boys...

That's true too. I'm not really a young woman- I'm actually a 56 year old, grossly overweight male with homosexual tendencies. I'm currently slathering my naked body in peanut butter and listening to my parakeet speak Spanish.

neonblue120 6

u forgot the third that they actually are hot but live halfway around the world

The main thing I grasped from that is that you taught a parakeet Spanish, which is impressive. I never even heard of foreign speaking parakeets, strangely. I now have the urge to teach a parakeet Russian.

Bwa ha ha ha you got owned by a printer :D

Me thinks shes a vet or a LEO or a victim and has PTSD!

dotdotdotquestio 0

hey don't listen to them they're retards. it was instinctive. imagine if it was you wouldve been smart. smh it was the right move.