Miscellaneous: Today, I had to tell my best friend that I couldn't make it to...

By xXx3mi_MuffinxXx - 01/07/2011 19:23 - United States

Today, I had to tell my best friend that I couldn't make it to the lake today or tomorrow because I'd been called in to work. She won't believe me and thinks I'm simply avoiding her. I got called in to bathe and clean dogs' anal glands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 756

You deserved it 3 209

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By nightfall8705 - 17/08/2017 19:30 - United States - Walhalla

Today, I had to make my boss believe that I was late to work because my sick dog shit all over my bedsheets and I had to clean up the mess before work. The truth is, I don't have a dog, and I wrongly trusted a long fart this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 359

You deserved it 1 150

By noworkformeplease - 09/03/2017 16:00

Today, I had to call out of work because I was ill, but they didn't believe me because today was the day I was supposed to come back from vacation. Now I'm stuck at work, constantly running to the bathroom, and they still won't let me go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 255

You deserved it 380

By Mark - 27/02/2015 18:24 - Malta - Naxxar

Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 855

You deserved it 2 716

Dirty mind

By Anonymous - 25/06/2012 15:53 - United States - Elizabethtown

Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 761

You deserved it 2 952

By Anonymous - 20/06/2012 23:08 - United States - New Kensington

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 471

You deserved it 3 405

By yolo is for shitheads - 09/10/2012 16:07 - United States

Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing bowel distress. I called my manager's phone directly so no one else would know of my embarrassment. She put me on speakerphone, and I only realized when the juvenile laughter started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 434

You deserved it 2 164

Manage this

By fuck this company - 14/06/2021 07:01 - United States

Today, the same manager who wrote me up for missing work when my mom had had a stroke, thought it was perfectly acceptable to announce she was leaving work 6 hours early to take her dogs to the groomers. Apparently, that appointment was more urgent than me riding in an ambulance with my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 58

By ohhhjaymo13 - 05/02/2011 05:58 - United States

Today, at work, I was told I was a failure. Feeling like crap, I went to my best friend to see if he could make me laugh. He told me that he felt obligated to hang out with me, so he thought that we shouldn't anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 677

You deserved it 3 372

By TheHeirofTime - 15/08/2016 15:11 - United States - Marlborough

Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 251

You deserved it 1 729

With friends like these…

By Anonymous - 28/03/2022 18:00

Today, my best friend promised me that she'd be there after a rough night the night before. Hours later, I did some digging and found out that she went ahead and called another group of friends behind my back, and then told me to stop being a baby when I figured it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 177

alissa222 15

Saturday 2 July 2011 1:22

invite her to join you.

jamila123 5

Saturday 2 July 2011 1:21

at least you have a job.

Comments

lmaoatall 6

Saturday 2 July 2011 1:23

let me get this straight. you're missing two days of lake fun with your friends because you have to milk ass juice from dogs buttholes. FYL op.

cptmorgan6 8

Saturday 2 July 2011 1:27

Umm..... I don't think that's what she meant by cleaning. But, if that's how you'd like to imagine it, then by all means, go ahead.

F0xyTurtle 8

Saturday 2 July 2011 1:30

probably not enough

bankrupt 15

Saturday 2 July 2011 1:34

Actually No. 21, No. 12 is right. That is essentially what the OP is doing. The glands get clogged and need expressing so the OP is, in effect, milking ass juice out of some dirty dogs' stinking asses. If it isn't done they can get impacted and then it's a real mess. You'd have to pay me a million bucks to do that rotten job. Frankly I don't know which is worse; having a whiny, needy, paranoid friend or having to do that foul-smelling, dirty job.

cptmorgan6 8

Saturday 2 July 2011 1:39

Ok, 34. I admit I made an impulsive comment and I am not aware of what the procedure is that the OP is taking a part of. My mistake.

bankrupt 15

Saturday 2 July 2011 1:58

Well, we learn something new every day. What you can actually use this newfound knowledge for is iffy at best, but nevertheless you have acquired it.

sweet_candy_ 17

Saturday 2 July 2011 2:12

Maybe op needs the money. Going to the lake doesn't pay the bills.

FarSide 22

Saturday 2 July 2011 4:33

@33: I think we all got the visual. Thanks.

dizzaymizlizzay 11

Saturday 2 July 2011 7:46

33 is totally right. I posted about it on someone else's comment. The smell of that anal gland stuff makes you want to throw up no joke. It's like a condensed trash dump smell and u seriously gag.