Today, I had to slowly explain to my best friend that when babies are born, the umbilical cord is attached to the baby's belly-button, not the mother's. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting a little girl down the street. She pulled out her 'memory box', which contained many childhood treasures. After pulling out a variety of dresses and baby pictures, she says, "... and here's my belly button!" and plops an umbilical chord in my hands. FML
Today, I had to explain to a patient that no, her nipples were not slowly getting smaller. FML
Today, my 5 year old son asked me to explain how he was born. After I told him I had a C-Section, he went to school and told everyone he was born at sea. I found out when the teacher called me. FML
Today, at the hospital I work at, I had to deliver my best friend's baby. I later found out that my ex boyfriend was the father. Normally this wouldn't faze me, but it did because we broke up last month. FML
Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML
Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML
Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
Today, I visited a friend and her new baby. The baby had a tight constrictive headband and a clearly wet cloth nappy on. I tried to give some friendly advice on why this was bad, but she shot me down, saying what would I know, I don't have a kid. She's 17 and I'm a 26-year-old practicing midwife. FML
Today, I had to listen to my best friend explain how to properly unstick one's balls from one's leg. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML
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Top comments
krazyapples9 4
And that is why we don't drop babies.
mintcar 10
Today, I had to explain to my 18 year old brother why babies do not drown in amniotic fluid. I share your pain, OP.
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Comments (69)
J3NNI3LYNN 9
Isn't it attached to the back of the mothers belly button? Correct me if I'm wrong
rhazzo 3
Nope. The umbilical cord is attached to the placenta, which is circular organ that provides the baby nutrients and blood and helps to filter out waste. The placenta is attached to the uterine wall and sheds shortly after birth. The uterus is not, however, attached to the mother's belly button. The belly button is basically a scar.
tamjay 2
I thought it was too don't worry haha
Urpoppy 21
I hope your friend is under 12 not to know such a basic fact. FAIL
deschenes_j 1
At least she knew where the baby comes out.. My dad thought I was gonna come out of my mom's bellybutton -_-
bryan788 29
wow the public education system at its best.
MriFunny 6
Well, we know who doesn't have a future as a doctor...
junkman6 22
Is this Scientology at work? Along the lines of psychology being the great Satan? I seem to remember Tom cruise calling Katie Holmes a demon because the umbilical cord was backwards!
mrsstaken 12
The belly button is the scare left from the umbilical cord! Your friend needs to take a class or two on the human body.
BeautyOfGrac3 6
Fail... I wouldn't even explain it. I would just walk again and shake my head.
61318nikki 8
Your friend is very smart..
doglover100 29
She needs a few classes in sex ed.