Today, I had to sit patiently at the checkout at work, listening to my own father rant about how the twinkies he was buying were "twice the size back in my day", and how "you could buy a dozen of these suckers for just 10 cents." He didn't stop there. No, he tried to haggle over the price. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I work at a general store and a customer came in trying to bargain a set price of an item. The item? A 50 cent candy bar. He wanted it for 34 cents. This is not the first time he's done this. FML
Today, while at my job in a candy store, a boy stuck his hand into the bin, contaminating the candy. As I politely explained that the dad had to purchase the affected candy he refused, yelled, then angrily agreed to buy them. The total cost of the candy with the extra pieces? $1.69. FML
Today, at my store, I had an old man violently accuse me of charging him for an extra pack of 99¢ Mounds candy yesterday. He held up my line for 10 minutes, fighting me about it. I didn't even work yesterday. FML
Today, my dad got into an argument with the cashier about how overpriced the scented tampons were. FML
Today, while working at a dollar store, I was clobbered by a woman because apparently, I was ripping her off by charging two dollars for two doughnuts. She didn't understand that she couldn't buy multiple items at once for one dollar. FML
Today, I went to a corner store to restock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML
Today, my Dad and I went to McDonald's, only to have him shove two handfuls of sugar packets into the bag. He said, "If it's for free, why only take one?" To make it worse, my crush was at the till, watching what was happening. FML
Today, I stopped at a mini-mart and bought a family-size bag of potato chips, a tub of dip, a box of toaster pastries, and some snack cakes. The guy at the counter said, "Wow, someone's hungry!" I told him it wasn't all for me, paid, and left in a huff. It was all for me. I ate it all by that evening. FML
Today, I was waiting in line for what seemed like forever at the only open lane at the grocery store. The guy in front of me took his sweet time and had multiple cards rejected, before finally pulling out a $100 bill and demanding exact change. He was buying a carton of milk. FML
Today, when I told a gentleman that, no, he couldn't have cash back on his return without a receipt, he started screaming at me that I was calling his mother a liar. He told me to lawyer up and yelled at me for smiling at him. He also screamed at me to go on a diet as he left the store. FML
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Top comments
khaya 9
Can't wait until he does this for a pack of condoms.
armorf0r 7
"shiiiiit, back in my day, you could get a pack of 20 sheep intestines for a dolla! Man, you NEVER had to worry 'bout gettin yer sister pregnant!"
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Comments (100)
mootoo31 6
Not really an FML.
Emma Marshall 19
Kinda is. Everyone has different FML moments....
khaya 9
Can't wait until he does this for a pack of condoms.
XxREXxX 0
lol i bet he likes McDonalds too
armorf0r 7
"shiiiiit, back in my day, you could get a pack of 20 sheep intestines for a dolla! Man, you NEVER had to worry 'bout gettin yer sister pregnant!"
nalia18 8
I think he already was... :p
P374RD3D 9
#26 PETA would like a word with you
blackheart24 10
Man his dad musta been old. They probably didn't have condoms back in his day
mfjkr 10
#41 PETA...People Eating Tasty Animals..:)
Enslaved 38
I've watched the History of Sex on the History Channel. You'd be shocked to know how far back condoms existed. Nothing sexier than animal bladders, right?:P
bitchslapped22 14
Since the dad is old his wife is probably old enough so that he doesn't use condoms
RakaI 8
I can't say for sure, but I'd think condoms were more expencive then.
powderbluetang 11
Damn twinkies! They're not even delicious like everyone says. Now ho-hos on the other hand, that's what's delicious.
KrypticPanda 0
Twinkies are delicious
daminantion 14
Try my Twinkie and I'll try your ho-ho anytime sugartits.
P374RD3D 9
"delicious" is not awesome enough to describe twinkies
CommonSenseKarma 17
The Hostess CEO vomited spontaneously after sensing these posts.
xFullMoonHeartx 7
I've never had a Twinkie
JinxosGirl87 0
I concur, Twinkies aren't as delicious as they seem.
JojoChuo 8
Twinkies are 60-70% air, fact x)
CommonSenseKarma 17
Fun facts make the world go around the sun, as Galileo would say.
yodas0da 12
are you trying to be super asian on purpose
Steve95401 49
OP's dad is brilliant. Junk food doesn't have as much fat or calories when you don't pay full price.
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Who gives a damn about fat or sugar? We're all going to die eventually anyway. Might as well enjoy the simple things.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Tell that to Andy Reid. He looks like he's going keel over before my 10 year old dog does. I give a damn about fat and sugar because it ***** up my form (not to be conceited) if I take over certain amounts. Not like I don't eat junk food, but watching what I eat and how much of it really helps.
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Andy Reid has been fat as long as I can remember. The key is to stay active.
deadlyriot101 7
Well, honestly, it's embarrassing how people become so obese, think it's a joke, and don't try to fix it.
RecklessJellyBea 7
Your father shouldn't be eating a dozen Twinkies anyway. 10¢? He'd probably never stop. They're addictive.
hombrepollo 0
Does your father perhaps live in a trailer, support any politician "other than that there black guy", and go to Arkansas for a fancy vacation?
hombrepollo 0
I sincerely apologize for this god-awful joke
youngbuck10 9
Hey now, we southerners are some of best people in America. We know how to party here!
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Ron Paul, 2nd Amendment rights, Twinkies, brisket, Stevie Ray Vaughn, and Jack Daniels. Any questions?
leadman1989 16
19 - You've been doing a lot of apologizing lately q:, 40 - Ron Paul? I believe he'll do what he says he'll do when he gets in office the problem is that it will set us back 50yrs on top of ruining the economy! The gold sandard? Really? Have we learned nothing from history?
CommonSenseKarma 17
I swooned at Second Amendment rights. I think California has brainwashed me.
StoryOfTheYear 15
You mean people can still wield a gun? Minnesota doesn't even allow you to lawfully shoot someone raping your children in your own home. I love my state, but it's politics make me want to puke.
hombrepollo 0
Just so y'all know I live in the deep south and I've been to the jack Daniels distillery
flockz 20
but you will still find me in the twinkie isle dont worry.
slushpup9696 12
An isle just for Twinkies??? I'd love to vacation there!
flockz 20
not sure if you should. the only way you get through the gates is shoving a twinkie up your ass.
MrsPegg 45
Don't get in between a man and his Twinkies! Especially when he feels he's getting ripped off! ;)
uprising_fml 0
probably be for good reason . giant twinkies for 10 cents = very large people .