Today, I had to listen to a girl who just came back from the bathroom, talk about the "gigantic massive dump" she took, and even held her hands up to show the size. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML
Today, I was using the restroom at school. What I thought was going to be just peeing turned into a humongous fart that echoed in the toilet bowl. Already embarrassed, I opened the door to leave. Two girls, who obviously heard, were giggling and saying, “It’s always the fat bitches.” FML
Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML
Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice. We were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes, she asked me, "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?" She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML
Today, at work I was sitting on the toilet and a coworker came in and yelled, “That sounded like a big one!” and wouldn't leave until I left came out of the stall. FML
Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML
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Top comments
maskedman 9
Do I hear wedding bells?
XDNurse 0
isn't she precious.
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Comments (148)
wazdog 4
Indeed. The poster is probably pissed off she out-crapped him.
AJG390 0
Eww. What girl talks about that? I could see a guy talking about that easy. But a girl? Nasty!
DavidCooksAngel 0
^ Agrees ^
wellinever 5
I've never heard a guy talk about his dumps, but I once overheard a Swiss girl telling her friend about hers. She described it as "Eine ganze Bratwurst" - a whole bratwurst. Now that's a big sausage.
ILIEKGIRLS 5
I actually talk about my ***** quite often. It's weird because I shit like every 4 days and it comes out to be MASSIVE. wait, wat.
rohosoccer08 1
guys do talk about it a lot I have to hear my husband and his friends describe theirs to each other all the time! I also agree it's gross!
mittensbum16 0
I know. there's a reason girls are supposed to be "lady like" you don't go around talking about your gross private stuff even your period it's obnoxious and completely unattractive
FarSide 23
if my last shit had been a baby, it would have been a Cesarean delivery...
threer 30
How about PEOPLE can A) All be polite, or "ladylike". Or B) Do whatever the **** they want.
DGross 8
ok, now that was gross... ..@ snickerdoodles' comment (wow none of my comments are showing up in the right place if at all)
DGross 8
True, however, being as a guy can relate to a large shit better than having a period, it's natural guys are more skittish towards women talking about their period. I kinda got over it because let's face it, hearing it being talked about is a heck of a lot better than experiencing it, however, a lot of my friends still have to leave the room whenever girls start talking about "that" It's actually kinda funny watching the men "evacuate"
Geicogecko 2
I agree with #36
dudeitsdanny 10
I agree, too. It doesnt matter how often she said it(wasn't just once a month O.O), I NEVER got used to my ex saying "I'm bleeding out of my ******." I didn't even suggest anything that would require me knowing this.
dudeitsdanny 10
I agree, too. It doesnt matter how often she said it(wasn't just once a month O.O), I NEVER got used to my ex saying "I'm bleeding out of my ******." I didn't even suggest anything that would require me knowing this.
is300k 0
fake and gay girls don't poop, at least the hot ones don't either way smack that bitch up
eat_this_buddie 5
that's gross lol
jamiej469 0
Because girls don't have to shit. Ever. The only thing girls ever do with their asshole is let guys stick their wang in it. Right?
sterrizzill 0
correct.
Fedor_is_KING 0
28, love your train of thought :P
DGross 8
I stuck it in the wrong hole.... ... best video ever for those who haven't seen in on youtube :-P
quietlytearful 0
correct :D
exoticfuck 0
chiks love it in the ass>.>
bozodaone 0
You weren't forced to listen and posting this is just giving us nearly the same event that you had to go through. How can you expect people to care or sympathize for your story if you do the very thing that made you annoyed in the first place?
bozodaone 0
no im not angry wtf. Are you saying that there are magical force fields in school that force you to look at someone depicting the size of their stool? Personally its the showing size part that is disgusting, and that could have been avoided. in conclusion.......... op is a sick bastard and wanted nothing less than to see it in person after the juicy description, but since he/she couldnt this FML was posted to cover it up. ANOTHER CASE CLOSED.
robdoggstge 0
simply gross
askantha 0
sounds like 2 girl and a cup story... if you remember the viral video go around the net few years ago..,
xTBearx 0
Two girls one cup, that was fake. This FML I believe isn't.
dudeitsdanny 10
Maybe that was fake, but that type of **** is not. Its just illegal in the US because the people in charge are pricks. I don't enjoy it, but the fact remains: Girls like to eat poop and vomit =D