Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend and tell him that the red bumps around my nipples was heat rash, rather than admit it was actually razor burn. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend complimented me on how he liked my freckles down below. I didn't have the heart to tell him that they were just razor rash. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me why I have "crotch acne". When I attempted to explain that I have razor bumps from shaving, he got mad and said I was lying and insecure about my obvious facial and bodily acne problem. FML
Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML
Today, I shaved my lady bits for the first time to surprise my husband, who I haven't seen in months due to deployment. I ended up with razor burn and my dim-witted husband believes I cheated on him and that it's an STD. Nothing will tell him otherwise. FML
Today, my boyfriend pretended to be reading braille while touching my chest acne. FML
Today, my son begged me to take him to the doctor for the weeping bloody rash on his penis so I had to take an unpaid day off for his appointment. The doctor laughed us out the door after it turned out to be a good old-fashioned friction burn. FML
Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML
Today, I was going to bleach my bikini line, as I have not been able to shave there due to some ingrown hairs, and I also have to lifeguard every day. As it turns out, I'm allergic to the bleach. There is now an angry red, burning rash on my crotch that you can see around my swimsuit. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were telling each other secrets, so I told him I shaved my upper lip. He said, "I know, it's prickly when we make out." FML
Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML
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Top comments
Major_Whupass 3
And instead of telling your boyfriend, you told the entire Internet!
Hockeyboy4280 18
That's the biggest myth ever. You only have so many follicles on your body. Sure, it may appear thick at first, but that's because the ends of the hairs are blunted. As the hair grows, it will split and damage which in turn will thin it out. As for darkness, shaving won't change melanin... Darkness is genetic.
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Comments (185)
confusdsincbirth 5
That's a hairy situation. You should shave that story for your kids.
Welshite 39
One slip and you'll be nippleless. Try a safer route next time.
Epikouros 31
I always put a finger on the nipple when I shave my breasts.
loopsy_fml 14
But.... Your a guy.....?
unknown_user5566 26
This brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "nip-slip".
Tay_racer10 3
You shave your boobs!?!?!
misspulkadot24 17
If you are comfortable enough to show him your boobs, you should be comfortable enough to tell him the truth.
st333ph 12
Love your body for what it is, Op!
outoftown 26
#18, Love seems a bit strong, but matter-of-fact would work.
st333ph 12
Well, accept it in that matter.
ksks1234 33
Why would you need to shave your breasts anyway?
CharresBarkrey 15
My guess is she has a hormone imbalance that causes her to grow hair where she normally wouldn't.
ksks1234 33
If that is the case, you think she would use a depilatory cream or laser hair removal or something safer, easier than a razor.
skittlestrailmix 14
Hair remover surgery can be so expensive unfortunately...
ksks1234 33
But wouldn't it be worth it? How many women do you know that have to shave their breast? If I had that issue, I would save up my money to have laser hair removal. It is not a common issue. I am sure the staff could file it where insurance would cover it, since it is obviously a medical issue. Having enough hair on your breasts to have to shave them is not a normal condition.
Eedeea 7
Not the sharpest razor in the pack are you?
CptZoe 10
Minging.
Enslaved 36
Tell him it's Braille so that he can feel you up in the dark.:P
jekstyrl 5
You should use cover up around your nipples then when your boyfriend sucks your boobs he made the red marks lol
FeroniaMoonscyth 2
And can get cover-up on his lips.
jazzyjazz23 9
Why do you use a razor on your nipples? That's weird.
ICastillo 24
Um I'm just guessing but maybe she has hair growing there...
jazzyjazz23 9
Obviously, but there are other methods to remove hair that would work better than a razor.