Today, I had to have a cervical biopsy. The doctor said I would feel slight cramping as she scraped cells from inside the cervix. I guess by "slight cramping" she meant I would shit, throw up, and then pass out. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML
Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML
Today, the pills my doctor prescribed for my extremely painful period cramps apparently have a side effect; excruciatingly painful cramps. I feel like I'm being repeatedly stabbed in the ovaries with a rusty fork. FML
Today, I went to the doctor to see if she could check a lump in my vagina. She pushed the lump and asked, "Does this make you want to use the bathroom for a number 2?" I said yes. Turns out, it’s hard poop pushing against my intestines and the outside vagina wall. FML
Today, I got diagnosed with stomach ulcers. They are very painful, and I have been throwing up blood. On my latest trip to the toilet, I was heaving and the pain was making me beat the floor with my fist, the toilet lid decided to come crashing down on my head, giving me a minor concussion. FML
Today, I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work, causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused my bowels to release everything right then and there, while on the phone with a customer, in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML
Today, I was in class and felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I began to scream and cry because the pain was horrible, so the teacher called 911. After being rushed to the hospital, I was told that "I had gas cramps and would be fine." My whole class was listening on speakerphone to make sure I was ok. FML
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
Today, I went to the hospital due to vomiting and abdominal pain, and they decided to fit me with an IV drip. It took several tries by two different people to get the cannula in. I feel like a human pin-cushion. FML
Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
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Top comments
HarshD9619 34
That's the equivalent of a dentist saying, "This won't hurt a bit."
expertsmilee 26
She just didn't wanna scare the shit out of ya.
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Comments (103)
abNormal62 23
Sorry for your discomfort. Are you normally pain sensitive? Or did this doctor get a mail orde order PhD? Hope afterwards you got only good news and an FML for your troubles and not further medical complications
TJRoy 44
I would hope the Dr had a medical degree rather than a doctorate in philosophy, especially not mail in, but I get your point. In your defence, some medical doctors do go on and get Phd's after they finish their medical degrees.
TheBelt 19
I guess she didn't want to scare you shitless.
starburst7596 14
That's what it was like when I got an IUD and they measured my cervix. Minus the bodily functions. That shit shouldn't be played with.
singafairytale 11
I don't believe that's a normal response. I had a cervical scraping and biopsy and didn't feel a thing. I wonder if maybe you were so nervous that the panic caused that response instead of the actual procedure?
EarlFug 19
Sorry I'm a guy and not a doctor but, didn't feel a thing? Just reading cervical scraping gave me the shivers..
kirkaygri 18
It's completely normal response to your cervix opening, forced or natural. It can happen during labor, too.
amileah13 26
Oh god I feel for you op! I'm sorry that happened to you :(
vlalam 24
Sorry to hear, hope u feel better soon
curiouslilbird 19
Been there, OP--I didn't react quite as violently, but my lady bits were definitely NOT happy with the gynecological procedures! The good thing is that most gynos see stuff like this all the time--my gyno told me that some women's cervices are much more sensitive to being messed with, and so any touch can trigger strong, uncontrollable uterine cramping...which probably triggered your "cascade effect." :/ It's embarrassing, but you're not alone!
TheTrainKid 20
I can't imagine the pain you went through OP, but I hope the biopsy results were good. :)
writerchic85 26
Those biopsies are different for everyone. My best friend said she was in major pain for days and my mom said she barely noticed it. So I guess it depends on how many nerves you have there and stuff. Feel better.
yungmumma88 10
Mine only pinched a little bit. Mine they took a chunk not just a scrape. Anything down there for the first time is unnerving though. I'm sure you're not the first and won't be the last