Today, I had to have a cervical biopsy. The doctor said I would feel slight cramping as she scraped cells from inside the cervix. I guess by "slight cramping" she meant I would shit, throw up, and then pass out. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML
Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML
Today, the pills my doctor prescribed for my extremely painful period cramps apparently have a side effect; excruciatingly painful cramps. I feel like I'm being repeatedly stabbed in the ovaries with a rusty fork. FML
Today, I went to the doctor to see if she could check a lump in my vagina. She pushed the lump and asked, "Does this make you want to use the bathroom for a number 2?" I said yes. Turns out, it’s hard poop pushing against my intestines and the outside vagina wall. FML
Today, I got diagnosed with stomach ulcers. They are very painful, and I have been throwing up blood. On my latest trip to the toilet, I was heaving and the pain was making me beat the floor with my fist, the toilet lid decided to come crashing down on my head, giving me a minor concussion. FML
Today, I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work, causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused my bowels to release everything right then and there, while on the phone with a customer, in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML
Today, I was in class and felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I began to scream and cry because the pain was horrible, so the teacher called 911. After being rushed to the hospital, I was told that "I had gas cramps and would be fine." My whole class was listening on speakerphone to make sure I was ok. FML
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
Today, I went to the hospital due to vomiting and abdominal pain, and they decided to fit me with an IV drip. It took several tries by two different people to get the cannula in. I feel like a human pin-cushion. FML
Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
HarshD9619 34
That's the equivalent of a dentist saying, "This won't hurt a bit."
expertsmilee 26
She just didn't wanna scare the shit out of ya.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (103)
queenacoreana87 1
I've had 2 of these so I feel your pain!!! Feel better soon!
lksdliz 9
Wow, don't ever get pregnant, you could never handle going through labor...you wuss.
cazza3 15
i have had cervical shock as well from the same procedure as well as others and had a baby just fine.
limabeans101029 21
Yes, because OP could totally have chosen not to throw up, shit and pass out. Honestly, it's so annoying when people use words like 'wuss' in these situations because it just isn't true. For example, I faint at the sight of blood. It's not because I'm scared of it or anything, it's just a natural physical reaction that I have and I can't help it from happening.
Nieko 11
Doctors did what they're supposed to do. Feel better OP!
faifai_fml 21
Every body is different. Every person feels things differently. You don't know what other people go through because you're not in their head. Don't pass judgement on this poor girl simply because you had a different experience. Empathize, sympathize, and be kind. Kindness costs nothing.
chef4money 12
I was told slight cramping also. That Dr lied to me too. They do tell you to take an Advil before your visit but you might as well eat a tic tac. Advil doesn't do anything to help that pain.
mushroomcassette 21
That's an amusing shituation.
lcl133 4
I had that done with no anesthesia about a month ago. Holy hell it hurt!
Lexipants 21
This sounds about right. I nearly fainted. Worst pain I've ever felt.
skoepp 3
Oh my god. OP needs to suck it up and get a spine. I hope the doc made her clean her mess up. FFS
MandieL 27
How do you know she doesn't have extremely sensitive nerves in her cervix? I have a huge scar on my forearm from a surgery, and the nerve endings right along the scar are super painful if hit the right way. Fortunately, not enough to cause a reaction like hers, but still. You have no clue what her pain tolerance is. You have no right to judge. And doctors/nurses are used to human excrement and it wouldn't even phase them. They would be sympathetic. I'm glad you're obviously not in a profession that requires any sort of compassion. FYL OP.
limabeans101029 21
70- OP didn't choose to have those reactions. They happened automatically and you can't just "suck it up" and stop them from happening.
alera_fml 12
I was sore for days.