Today, I had to have a cervical biopsy. The doctor said I would feel slight cramping as she scraped cells from inside the cervix. I guess by "slight cramping" she meant I would shit, throw up, and then pass out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML
Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML
Today, the pills my doctor prescribed for my extremely painful period cramps apparently have a side effect; excruciatingly painful cramps. I feel like I'm being repeatedly stabbed in the ovaries with a rusty fork. FML
Today, I went to the doctor to see if she could check a lump in my vagina. She pushed the lump and asked, "Does this make you want to use the bathroom for a number 2?" I said yes. Turns out, it’s hard poop pushing against my intestines and the outside vagina wall. FML
Today, I got diagnosed with stomach ulcers. They are very painful, and I have been throwing up blood. On my latest trip to the toilet, I was heaving and the pain was making me beat the floor with my fist, the toilet lid decided to come crashing down on my head, giving me a minor concussion. FML
Today, I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work, causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused my bowels to release everything right then and there, while on the phone with a customer, in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML
Today, I was in class and felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I began to scream and cry because the pain was horrible, so the teacher called 911. After being rushed to the hospital, I was told that "I had gas cramps and would be fine." My whole class was listening on speakerphone to make sure I was ok. FML
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
Today, I went to the hospital due to vomiting and abdominal pain, and they decided to fit me with an IV drip. It took several tries by two different people to get the cannula in. I feel like a human pin-cushion. FML
Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
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Top comments
HarshD9619 34
That's the equivalent of a dentist saying, "This won't hurt a bit."
expertsmilee 26
She just didn't wanna scare the shit out of ya.
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Comments (103)
rainbotato 14
Sounds like a sticky situation
False_Stupidity 42
Aside from this being an overused comment that's doomed to be thumbed into oblivion.. How is that even relevant?
JRtheSnowman 5
its from south park
seemetrot_fml 16
I had one, mine didn't hurt at all. It just depends on the person.
mergeterge 24
Glad to hear! This FML scared me. :(
lexa1love 16
Depends on the person. I consider myself to have a high tolerance for pain, but I never in my life want another. I didn't pass out but I sure came close too it.
meikaze 9
I didn't have this done, but something some might consider significantly worse. Get an IUD, they said. It doesn't hurt, they said. But in all seriousness, after dealing with the pain and anxiety it is totally worth it.
haleymak_ 14
I had it done too. It was more uncomfortable afterwards. The thought of it is worse than it actually is, but that being said, I still wouldn't wanna go through that again haha.
k8Pluss 8
I had one done too and that didn't happen to me, but pain tolerance is different for everybody.
sixsevenoh 6
Same process in the life of a newborn. Hope you feel better soon OP
gintwinsmoore 20
how could anyone say that this is a ydi??? you inconsiderate bastards!!!
Jennandco 25
Omg, did this all happen when you were having it, or post? Omg, you poor thing!
Oh_bother44 11
I can't imagine the doctor was too happy considering where he/she was probably sitting/standing when OP's bowels released :/
Oh_bother44 11
I wasn't saying I didn't feel bad for OP- I was just stating that it ALSO probably sucked for the doctor.
yungmumma88 10
Gynos are usually obstetricians as well, can't be any worse than what goes on in the delivering room
ElyseMoon420 9
I had one of those, and I didn't do all that but it def was more then cramping. hahaha.
Gillett 23
I'm sorry but it's stories like these that make me glad I'm a guy
Evil_Jester 17
Hell ya, me too.
efahy01 6
It's stuff like this that makes me wish I was a guy. Being a woman sucks.
UhUhUh_fml 3
Im having one in a few weeks, heres to hoping we both get positive results!
haleymak_ 14
hope this post didn't freak you out. I've had it done, they're not nearly as horrible as this post, which I'm questioning is even true. it's not fun by any means, but it's not horrible pain, mostly just really uncomfortable type of pain. Good luck to you, hope you get the results you're looking for!
countryb_cth 38
I don't think positive results are what you want
TStiles 15
this may be a stupid question but can someone explain what a cervical biopsy is
lizenhagen 11
Yep. Google.
michaelm1290 23
The cervix is between the uterus and the ****** and marks a transition zone for the histological epithelium lining of the reproductive tract from stratified squamous to columnar. Since there is a quick transition in cell types, it's a common site for cancer. Therefore, we do screening tests (PAP, HPV testing) to try and catch these changes quickly. In these tests, we remove cells, by many different procedures, and then examine them under the microscope to look for abnormal changes. In general they do not hurt, but different people have different responses.