Today, I had to blow up an air mattress using only my lungs. After nearly passing out from lack of oxygen, I realized there was a hole in it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I fell asleep in class. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke gasping for air. I almost drowned in my arm fat. FML
Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML
Today, after climbing 5 flights of stairs I walked into the restroom to take a piss. I was winded but trying to keep my heavy breathing to a minimum. My plan failed when I almost fainted inbetween two guys at the urinal and started gasping for air. FML
Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. with an extremely satisfying fart. It felt great and I probably would have fallen right back to sleep, except that my ass was 8 inches from the air intake of my CPAP machine that I use, due to smoke inhalation damage from being a firefighter. It was so gross that I threw up in the CPAP mask. FML
Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML
Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML
Today, I was pumping the tire of my bicycle indoors, and suddenly the inner tube exploded next to my head. One ear is now ringing and the other one feels like it's bleeding. FML
Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML
Today, my office building had a surprise fire drill. As I rushed to exit, I realized that I’d put on a shirt that was way too tight. It felt like it was practically cutting off my circulation, and I couldn’t breathe too well. I tried to suck in my stomach but almost passed out in the process. I spent the rest of the drill struggling with my shirt while people gave me weird looks. FML
Today, I was taking a lifeguard certification test. I nearly drowned halfway through. FML
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Top comments
FruityLoooons 8
Why would you even...?
Sephiroth7 0
That blows..
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Comments (86)
lifecontroller 2
Guys guys, dont be so hard. Its really hard to tell if there is a hole in a blow up matress!
SapphireSympathy 7
I know there was a hole in it but... other than that air mattresses are hard as shit to blow up, trust me, I was stupid enough to try... It must've been made with balloons
sweethyegirl 8
Fail
dreamering 16
Who said she doesn't?
alltimekyle 6
*Facepalm*...
jagedlion 0
You actually pass out from a lack of CO2, not oxygen. Just a fun fact.
geeksaresexy 18
No, you pass out from lack of O2 in the brain. The lack of CO2 causes constriction of the blood vessels to the brain but ultimately it's lack of oxygen that causes you to pass out
CharlieJames13 0
That happened to me when I was playing with my kittens
vde_fml 15
You did not had lack of oxigen, you hyperventilated that's all.
doggiemcwoofwoof 2
At least you found out
epullley 1
dang bro next time check?