Today, I had three things converge that should never be together: my period, hot doctor, and a colonoscopy. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at the age of 25, for the first time in my life, I was lying mostly naked in front of a man while he was inserting something in my body. Too bad that man was a doctor and that thing was a colonoscopy. FML
Today, I had my anus probed twice by two different doctors. I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. I'm a 22 year old guy and have to schedule a colonoscopy for next week. I guess there's a first time for everything. FML
Today, I got my period. I was going to have my first threesome tomorrow. FML
Today, I have a UTI that spread to my kidneys, a yeast infection, and a herpes outbreak. Oh, and my period came this morning. FML
Today, I was lucky to have an extremely attractive doctor operating on me. This would have been great had he not been removing a foreign object from my vagina after an ill-fated masturbation session. FML
Today, I got my period. 10 minutes into a 3 hour exam. Apparently they are serious when they say you may not leave the room under any circumstances. FML
Today, I'm in the hospital getting prepped for a colonoscopy. Accidents happen, but the worst was right after the janitor finished cleaning the aftermath of the LAST accident. FML
Today, I realised that the last three people to see my intimate parts these last weeks were my beautician, my doctor and the lady who did my check up ultra sound. Oh, and I'm married. FML
Today, I have both a cold and a period. Tomorrow, I will have a cold, my period and my wisdom teeth taken out. FML
Today, I went to see a doctor because of some blood in my stool. Not only is the matter embarrassing enough as is, it turned out the doctor was a young, crisply dressed, extremely handsome man. I then had his finger in my ass for a check-up, all the while him being very nice about it. I'm still mortified. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
perdix 31
Don't think you really had a chance with the hot doctor -- to him, you're just another asshole.
speshlk37 13
It's the perfect storm...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (149)
misterjez 15
**** the doctors life lol
badbadkitty 5
Damn. Now THAT sucks. Make a joke. That always lubricates the tension for me.... Actually, on second thought, you've got enough lubrication.....
Almighty_Chris97 6
Gross
badbadkitty 5
I used to work at a colonoscopy clinic.... That's barely even scratching the surface of the "gross" comments I *could* have made.
SliceOfCake 9
28 - watch out, we got a badass over here.
TheWindowLicker 13
Why would tell 29 to watch out for themselves...? I'm assuming you meant 29.
Llamacod 11
as I'm posting there is no 29 so I'm presuming it was deleted. so let me help you here. when they posted about watching out for the badass they were telling 28 to wayves out for 29(who was presumably the bassas), so the statement was perfectly ok
TheWindowLicker 13
That's weird, I can see a 29 but not 28.
skoob1 12
There's a whole lot of things we *could* say. Like how those Facebook shots don't actually make your boobs look bigger, or how I wouldn't mention shoving my fingers up people's anis as my profession.
habibiiiiiii 2
Dude it's ANUS
greeneyedpothead 10
Idk what you're fantasizing, but I can't even see her boobs, so obviously they don't look bigger!!
isaiaah 6
That's never good...
perdix 31
Don't think you really had a chance with the hot doctor -- to him, you're just another asshole.
windfuelsfire 10
Lol no one but perdix will comment twice on a fml and get highest likes on the second
AlkaliSam 6
This just made my day.
SomeAnonymousBro 4
103- I just thought the same thing xD
threekings 2
1 hit combo.
Acaprice14 9
Today, might've been the weirdest day of my job. My patient seemed to be uncomfortable and at the same time aroused. I don't know if she's having a bad day or if she loves it up the butt. FML?
therealslim 15
I don't think you've hit the nail on the head with this one sir
DocBastard 40
Make sure he knows you're on your period. Otherwise he may think, "Oh shit, her ****** is bleeding! Where the **** is my colonoscope going??"
PaulB123 11
Lol that's a win of a comment but at the same time a fail. The doctor is probably thinking -_-, and *facepalm*. She's thinking 'ur hot', this suks, and I'm craving a sammich. I mean, this would happen only in America! I bet he said "you're an idiot", and she was like "doc, no comment". In the mean time it's like 'forever alone'. At this point I doubt she cares, and is like 'haters gunna hate'. The doc is making puns, 'this is a shitty situation', and she's like... "I see what you did there". Now that'll just piss her off to the point where she'll feel like saying to him "hey, u mad bro?". In the middle of the operation a kid will walk in, take off his sunglasses, and say "this doesn't happen in Soviet Russia. Once they get him out there will be a common feeling, 'kids say the darnedest things'. The operation will finish up and the doc will be exhausted, and tell her "that was epic". The patient will be offended, to which the docs reply will be "take it as a compliment". She decides she will take it as a compliment, like a boss. She'll leave, but come back because she forgot her pussy (cat). The doctor will be thinking, 'are you blonde?', but then realise he has to pick up his bitch (dog) later. That night, the doctor will come home to his wife and they have a little fun in bed. He'll put his hands up and decide, "doesn't matter, has sex". Meanwhile, in soviet Russia.... Just kidding I won't go there. For the record, this is the hardest I've ever had to work for an fml comment, and I realise I'll be thumbed down into the stone age. Enjoy.
charvisioku 22
48 --> tl;dr
therealslim 15
I give you 10 for effort, 48
kaycee1996 5
That was a lot of work just to piss one guy off but good job you pulled it of well :D
kamikrazy 6
I'm just going to thumbs up #48 assuming it's a good comment.
CowOven 7
^Write a book.
day624 14
Oh Geez! If he was hot i would have walked right out and rescheduled!
Strafeh 9
Because he only works there for that day?
abceasyas123abc 12
Presumably because then she could reschedule it for a day she wasn't on her period.
rainbowdashy 3
No because your period ends in a matter of days... And she could request a different doctor
rooney0710 5
Wait till three things that should meet do an you will forget it happened
gracehi 33
My boyfriend complained to me about how when he had an ultrasound on his leg, the doctor put the device uncomfortably close to his genitals. I asked him if the doctor also stuck his whole hand up his ******. That shut him up. We women often have terrible experiences at the doctor. Sorry, OP. :(
gracehi 33
At the *doctor's *office. Have mercy, oh great and powerful grammar nazis!
ICastillo 25
Wait you've had a doctor stick his whole hand up your ******? What the ****?!?
gracehi 33
Yes, it's called "gynecology." Sometimes that area of medicine calls for such invasive procedures.
ICastillo 25
Wow that's insane. I know what it's called, but I did not know they use their whole hand.
niplipsip 9
52, they don't stick they're whole hand up there. if your doctor did.. you should report him for malpractice.
gracehi 33
Not all the time. They only do that if you have certain symptoms. Most of the time they use other instruments, but that's not fun either...like that thing that looks like a duck's head.
gracehi 33
It wasn't malpractice. He had to make sure my IUD was in place.
ICastillo 25
Ummm....... *awkward silence*......sorry I asked. Umm have a nice day.
kandi_kid69 15
Oh.. Too much information.
williamcarter93 13
well that was mean. Sure, he never had a hand up a ******, but that don't mean he won't be uncomfortable, and that he shouldn't tell you. Wouldn't you want your boyfriend to listen to you if you wanted to tell him about a doctor's hand up your ******?