Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML
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Today, hoping to seal the deal on a promotion, I had my boss over for dinner. My dad, who lives with me, started ranting about homosexuals burning in hell. My boss’s daughter is a lesbian. Now my dad’s nose is broken and I fear for my job. FML
Today, I met my coworker's kids during a cookout. I joked to her eldest son that he was awfully short for a seventeen-year-old. He responded, "Well, you're awfully ugly for the town slut." Everyone laughed, including my boss. FML
Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML
Today, I made brownies for my co-workers. My boss called me into his office, and I though he was going to compliment me on the baking. Instead, he talked about how his 5-year-old daughter can make brownies better than me. FML
Today, my boss told me I wasn't getting the promotion I'd been angling for. I was so pissed off, I ranted to a coworker about it over lunch. Turns out my boss was just testing how I dealt with rejection before making his final decision. He overheard my rant and me calling him a Nazi bitch. FML
Today, I had to go to my 10 year-old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face, "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML
Today, my dad got promoted and ended up as my boss. I thought I’d finally have a manager I get along with, who could maybe throw a few perks my way. Nope. Dad was very clear that he was going to be a complete bastard to me at work to make absolutely sure no one could accuse him of favouritism. FML
Today, during my shift at a restaurant, my boss's daughter came in. I couldn't help but notice that she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her, my boss took me aside and said, "My daughter's got eyes you know, not just a pair of tits". FML
Today, I brought my mom to my work’s annual party. She insisted on meeting my boss and introduced herself as my "very supportive, overly involved mother." To make it worse, she gave him a lecture about how I was “just too shy” to ask for a raise. My boss is now both confused and terrified. FML
Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
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Top comments
Runninvegan 8
Your son needs to get his ass kicked pronto.
hopsinlove17 26
Hopefully your boss was able to tell your kid was being a douche...
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Comments (179)
rightspark 7
If you don't get the promotion, make sure you play that song when you beat his bitch ass. His mouth won't be saying out any more tricks ho sure
oGsBABE1 5
lmfao!
FindingRazzy 3
Hahahaha I say that all the time!
warmmilk 1
This is why parents need to beat (not abuse) their kids. Next time he asks you what's for dinner, or asks you why he didn't get a bday present, tell him you can't afford it cause he killed your promotion.
kimi118 0
Wow so you let your son talk like that. I wouldn't give you a promo
morbid1 2
I agree
nixophebia 5
Way to raise 'em, OP! You should talk sternly to him and then cave in. Like you've been doing the last 15 years.
sydstoomuch 19
B*tches ain't sh*t but hoes with tricks
UmbreonKirby 14
I wonder if OPs son knows the line "talk shit, get hit" I'm never one to argue for domestic violence but that seemed like a perfect time for OP to his their son over the head a few times
lizzie57 19
what IS the point of showering before bed?
superguydude200 5
Just know that not all 15 year olds are like this. I would never do this, even though my dad and I have a crappy relationship