Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, hoping to seal the deal on a promotion, I had my boss over for dinner. My dad, who lives with me, started ranting about homosexuals burning in hell. My boss’s daughter is a lesbian. Now my dad’s nose is broken and I fear for my job. FML
Today, I met my coworker's kids during a cookout. I joked to her eldest son that he was awfully short for a seventeen-year-old. He responded, "Well, you're awfully ugly for the town slut." Everyone laughed, including my boss. FML
Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML
Today, I made brownies for my co-workers. My boss called me into his office, and I though he was going to compliment me on the baking. Instead, he talked about how his 5-year-old daughter can make brownies better than me. FML
Today, my boss told me I wasn't getting the promotion I'd been angling for. I was so pissed off, I ranted to a coworker about it over lunch. Turns out my boss was just testing how I dealt with rejection before making his final decision. He overheard my rant and me calling him a Nazi bitch. FML
Today, I had to go to my 10 year-old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face, "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML
Today, my dad got promoted and ended up as my boss. I thought I’d finally have a manager I get along with, who could maybe throw a few perks my way. Nope. Dad was very clear that he was going to be a complete bastard to me at work to make absolutely sure no one could accuse him of favouritism. FML
Today, during my shift at a restaurant, my boss's daughter came in. I couldn't help but notice that she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her, my boss took me aside and said, "My daughter's got eyes you know, not just a pair of tits". FML
Today, I brought my mom to my work’s annual party. She insisted on meeting my boss and introduced herself as my "very supportive, overly involved mother." To make it worse, she gave him a lecture about how I was “just too shy” to ask for a raise. My boss is now both confused and terrified. FML
Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
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Top comments
Runninvegan 8
Your son needs to get his ass kicked pronto.
hopsinlove17 26
Hopefully your boss was able to tell your kid was being a douche...
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Comments (179)
crazyluvbug 8
Oh and beat the holy living hell out of him for talking like that about women. That's why we have such ******* dickheads running around treating women like shit!!!
kayjeah 1
People kill me how they let there kids do what they want. My boss would have seen or heard my slap my kid. Shows u know how the handle subordinates.
outoftown 27
#113, Like slaping the subordinates? Yes, that would really impress the boss... of OP being a lawsuit-waiting-to-happen.
BlackKestrel 1
Parents let their children do terrible things these days - like post messages on the Internet with the grammatical abilities of a 3 year old.
Rocky007 15
Was the promotion to a position where you would be responsible for other people, and perhaps have to teach them how to act with others? Cause if so, you're screwed.
coolbrony12 3
Somebody's grounded. Sorry OP.
UltimateGIRness 16
I know that this has nothin to do with anything,but your profile description says the exact thing that my friend told me.he believes that I'm a stalker out to get him O.o
sbjess 8
I have a great idea you can use in the future. Instead of being a kiss ass by inviting your boss over for dinner, why don't you just come out and ASK FOR A PROMOTION? I know it's crazy but it just might work. It would also save your boss from a boring dinner
ziggystar69 3
Beat the kid?? Pretty sure he can't say anything if hes not able to breathe
ayyebee 5
*shrug* bitches ain't shit but goes and tricks .
ayyebee 5
Hoes*
rockman555555 3
You deserve it for having your boss over for dinner.
Alex1901 6
They might not have been able to turn down the boss inviting themself to dinner. If you had a chance at promotion and the boss suggested dinner I think you'd feel obliged to say yes. On a separate note I hope the OP's son was grounded or had his phone taken away or whatever for being so rude.
PJmeloche 2
He should be impressed how much your son knows about girls already
OneLessScarecrow 6
Raise your children properly, geez