Animals: Today, I could no longer handle the drum music in the apartment... - FML

By anew27 - United States

Today, I could no longer handle the drum music in the apartment below me so I went to kindly ask the little old lady to shut it off before she goes to bed. Her neighbor came out while I knocked to tell me she is out of town and the music is constant so her cats don't get lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53147

You deserved it

3336

Tweet

Share

anew27 tells us more :

OP here, if it was Ted Nugent I was partaking of, I would kindly ask her to turn it up.

Dementia or hate? You decide

Weird-ass kids

The Walking Dead

By Eyalsh - Germany - Greifswald

Today, I came back to my dormitory after a long shift at work. After using the toilet, I looked at myself in the mirror, only to find a huge piece of food stuck between my front teeth. I work at one of the fanciest restaurants in town; nobody bothered to tell me anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27324

You deserved it

2779

Tweet

Share

By ScaryOldMan - United States

Today, while trying to sleep, I kept hearing this groan/scream for help for about an hour. I decided to call 911 to send someone to investigate. Police came, I received a $100 parking fine and another citation for improper use of 911. The noise? Just a dog howling. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29531

You deserved it

13209

Tweet

Share

By noooooooo - United States - Laurinburg

Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML

I agree, your life sucks

44461

You deserved it

6199

Tweet

Share

By underemployed - United States

Today, I found out my no-work-experience brother has just accepted a 50k/year job. He is still in school and has never had a job. I work as an intern for 11 hours a day, get rude emails from my boss, and have 3 degrees and 5 years work experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34594

You deserved it

4888

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 01:57

I mean…

Today, I finally noticed that my new coworker, with whom I have to share an office, starts every sentence with, "I mean…", then a pause, then says whatever he has to say. I can't un-notice it now, and it's like hearing nails on a chalkboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

800

You deserved it

75

Tweet

Share

By Buzz

Today, I've been caffeine-free for 2 weeks. It's turned me into a constipated angry bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2979

You deserved it

695

Tweet

Share

By [email protected] - France

Today, I decided to spend a night of love with my darling, so I arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number and waited in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it enticingly, convinced it was him. It was room service. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33261

You deserved it

11815

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Rugby

Dating is hell

Today, I had my third date with a lovely guy. After I got home, I figured I'd try to see if I could find his Facebook profile. I did. His pictures were nice; lovely wedding photos for sure, and his newborn baby is adorable. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61349

You deserved it

5186

Tweet

Share

By notonthepavement - United States - Desoto

Today, as I went to kiss my date goodbye and drive home, he mistakenly rammed his thumb across my eye hard enough to push my contact back into my eye socket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22658

You deserved it

1650

Tweet

Share

By WTF - Canada - Ottawa

Today, my boyfriend confided to me that he has a used condom collection. When I reacted with disgust, he "reassured" me that he only keeps the ones he uses with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34319

You deserved it

2974

Tweet

Share

By yapDogs - United States - Fort Myers

Today, I sent a $120 bouquet of flowers for mother's day. When I called tonight see if my Mom got them, she replied that they were still on the doorstep because she "didn't want the dogs to get excited and start barking" when she opened the front door to bring them in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29752

You deserved it

2366

Tweet

Share

By Musicfreak - United States

Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML

I agree, your life sucks

16577

You deserved it

30684

Tweet

Share

By nerdsgetmehot - United States

Today, six months have passed since my parents announced that they're getting a divorce. We're all still awkwardly living together because we haven't been able to sell our house yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30903

You deserved it

2497

Tweet

Share

By dad - United States

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks

85449

You deserved it

8290

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Turkey

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36753

You deserved it

5959

Tweet

Share

By theunluckylifeofme - United States - Gilroy

Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46627

You deserved it

5075

Tweet

Share

By locked out - United States - Marion

Today, I called a locksmith to unlock my car. He got it unlocked, but broke the handle so the door wouldn’t open. We had to break a window to get in. He still charged me his usual fee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3751

You deserved it

301

Tweet

Share

By over_due - United States

Today, I was giving a competitive dramatic speech. I got a little too into it and punched the ground to portray my character's anger. I must be one dedicated thespian because I was angry enough to break my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11552

You deserved it

3259

Tweet

Share

By firewait - Canada

Today, I gave my 16 year old step daughter and her friends a lecture on respecting other people's privacy. Two hours later, I accidentally walked into her room without knocking. She and her friends were giving each other bikini waxes. Now her friends call me the hypocritical pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16508

You deserved it

79909

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, three women came into my work and one was wearing a shirt with a rainbow that said, "We are everywhere". I had just gotten what it was referring to and when I greeted them I ended up saying "Hi gays!" instead of the standard "Hi guys". FML

I agree, your life sucks

21951

You deserved it

51442

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, my son displayed an interest in chess, and asked me to teach him to play. Five minutes in, I captured his queen. He screamed "SCREW THIS STUPID GAME", slammed his fist down on his pieces, and started crying because of the pain. He's fourteen years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26941

You deserved it

4632

Tweet

Share

By Zebracat - United States

Today, I was watching TV and started freaking out thinking I forgot to tell my boyfriend happy anniversary. I wrote him a text and after it sent, I realized the date is mine and my ex's anniversary date. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12342

You deserved it

56199

Tweet

Share

By awkwardRA

Today, one of my residents was having super loud sex. I'm an RA in a college freshman dorm, and I had to knock on her door and tell her to quiet down. I hate to be a cock-block, but she woke multiple people up, myself included. I live 4 doors down the hall from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3701

You deserved it

414

Tweet

Share

By nilssonfan - United States

Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27712

You deserved it

5883

Tweet

Share

By laughing-stock - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I was telling my brother about how my new colleagues and I don't share a sense of humour. He replied, "What, you mean they don't pretend to laugh at your jokes like everybody else?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

37862

You deserved it

5966

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I had to explain to my grandmother why, "What a nice singing voice! He doesn't sound black at all!" is not a compliment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34959

You deserved it

3027

Tweet

Share

By adogg18 - United States

Today, I let my son drive us home. After just 10 feet, he crashed into a parked cop car. It was my squad car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35184

You deserved it

15364

Tweet

Share

By And I'm still single - United States - Mission Viejo

Today, I found out that my picture from a dating profile was so "hilarious" that people have been posting it on Instagram with mean captions. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42413

You deserved it

6019

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Grandville

Today, I heard from my dad for the first time in over six months. It was through Facebook, in a message blaming my brothers and me for his horrible life, and in which he spelled my name wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38385

You deserved it

2489

Tweet

Share

By Bjax

Shame on you!

Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3614

You deserved it

372

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the movies. After it was over I got up and noticed a designer purse sitting on the ground in the back row. I opened it to look for anything that could give me a address so I could return it. The owner came back, assumed I was robbing her, and punched me in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44692

You deserved it

6353

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - Canada - Boucherville

Today, while I was volunteering at the homeless shelter, one of them "accidentally" kissed me. It felt like my face was being sucked by a vacuum. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25709

You deserved it

2165

Tweet

Share

By Babygirl - France

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. Why? He said his mom didn't want us together anymore. His mom died three years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38510

You deserved it

3269

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Topeka

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10539

You deserved it

56545

Tweet

Share

By Bogrbon - 21/4/2020 14:00

It's called fashion Dave, look it up

Today, since we can’t go out due to the quarantine, my wife decided she wanted to shave my back with a razor. Two hours later, I have a sore back and I look like I'm wearing the front half of the worlds ugliest sweater vest. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1180

You deserved it

275

Tweet

Share

By guess I'm stuck - United States - Alamo

Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks

73904

You deserved it

7707

Tweet

Share

By fmylyfe - United States - Saint Paul

Today, while working at Chipotle, a teenage girl asked in all seriousness if she "could have a steak burrito, but with like, chicken instead?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

47810

You deserved it

3948

Tweet

Share

By shattysituation - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43270

You deserved it

4022

Tweet

Share

By Targeted - United States - Kirkland

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33601

You deserved it

2776

Tweet

Share

By cullenthegreat - United States - Villanova

Today, on my second morning at college, I tried to make coffee using my Keurig. I realized after I got back from my shower that I hadn't put a cup under the machine. All 3 drawers of my dresser are now filled with coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10996

You deserved it

8388

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By perdix | 29

#5524898 - Friday 7 June 2013 16:15

Lonely? They have all those mice, birds and chipmunks to play with!

Why did the old lady leave? Did she have a 20-minute one-sided argument with the cat and decide to leave for an extended time?

By mpj13 | 8

#5524900 - Friday 7 June 2013 16:16

Was it cat scratch fever playing?

COMMENTS

By Catkam623 | 27

#5524890 - Friday 7 June 2013 16:13

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

Catkam623 | 27

#5524905 - Friday 7 June 2013 16:19

*vicious

Reply

Catkam623 | 27

#5524919 - Friday 7 June 2013 16:23

Pressure of being one of the first comments what can I say:(

Reply

fishstick557 | 14

#5524946 - Friday 7 June 2013 16:41

Well it is illegal to break into someone's house and I doubt OP was going to

Reply

fareith | 15

#5525014 - Friday 7 June 2013 17:35

I would have gone in and lowered it at least. It is ridiculously easy to pick the locks in most apartments.

Reply

xx000o | 27

#5525057 - Friday 7 June 2013 18:16

Don't say anything.

Reply

RedPillSucks | 31

#5525140 - Friday 7 June 2013 19:38

You can always ask the apartment superintendent to go in and turn off the music. Or call the cops. There are noise ordinances.

By perdix | 29

#5524898 - Friday 7 June 2013 16:15

Lonely? They have all those mice, birds and chipmunks to play with!

Why did the old lady leave? Did she have a 20-minute one-sided argument with the cat and decide to leave for an extended time?

Reply

LeFrogDog | 27

#5524981 - Friday 7 June 2013 17:11

No, it was mortal kombat. The gram left the 20 cats alone to fight. The last cat alive wins grannys love.

Reply

LeFrogDog | 27

#5524984 - Friday 7 June 2013 17:12

made a comment but dont know how to delete it so Hi.

Reply

LeFrogDog | 27

#5524989 - Friday 7 June 2013 17:16

Granny was playing mortal kombat. Why? so the 20 cats could fight and the last one meowing gets granny's love.

Reply

LeFrogDog | 27

#5524994 - Friday 7 June 2013 17:18

FML you have 2min to edit. Forgive my multiple comments.

Reply

fareith | 15

#5525017 - Friday 7 June 2013 17:37

Don't worry, the more comments you make, the more chances we get to thumb you down.

By mpj13 | 8

#5524900 - Friday 7 June 2013 16:16

Was it cat scratch fever playing?

Reply

anew27 | 5

#5525193 - Friday 7 June 2013 20:28

OP here, if it was Ted Nugent I was partaking of, I would kindly ask her to turn it up.

Reply

chabelo | 10

#5525241 - Friday 7 June 2013 21:27

dude seriously how does she knows that her cats like music?

Reply

mr_sarcastic416 | 29

#5527011 - Sunday 9 June 2013 10:27

an old lady that put loud drumming music on?

By Bloodjoker | 11

#5524901 - Friday 7 June 2013 16:17

Because everyone knows how much cats love drum music. Cats dream of one day becoming the great drummers of their ancestors. To one day hold those sticks on their furry feline hands and ROCK!. .. . ahem sorry the gods of rock were speaking through me

By nVALKry | 10

#5524906 - Friday 7 June 2013 16:19

What can you say? Your neighbour's a crazy cat lady.

By Zeke10 | 12

#5524910 - Friday 7 June 2013 16:20

Atleast it's not Justin Bieber...

Reply

mikeymayhem_87 | 15

#5525239 - Friday 7 June 2013 21:27

If it was Beiber playing... I think that would justify breaking and entering to be legal for the safety and well being of the community.

Reply

deepunder | 17

#5528250 - Monday 10 June 2013 8:54

Then it would be time to burn, burn, burn, that house down in a ring of fire, after getting the cats out by breaking and entering.

Reply

CaptMacLeod | 45

#6522132 - Thursday 28 January 2016 10:07

Yeah. You should burn the apartment directly below yours. That'll teach her!

By AnthonyWheeler15 | 24

#5524917 - Friday 7 June 2013 16:22

Cute...I think.

By kimg0885 | 23

#5524921 - Friday 7 June 2013 16:23

I don't know if the electrical breaker box is accessible to you but if it is just flip it off that should solve your problem.

Reply

Mauskau | 35

#5525021 - Friday 7 June 2013 17:40

If OP does so, I hope there's nothing in the fridge/freezer if it's on the same circuit.

Reply

ChibiChibi_fml | 27

#5525037 - Friday 7 June 2013 18:01

Or God forbid an electric cat feeder be what's keeping the cat eating day to day.

Reply

kimg0885 | 23

#5525240 - Friday 7 June 2013 21:27

I didn't say it was the nicest thing to do but it'll work at least.

By Catkam623 | 27

#5524922 - Friday 7 June 2013 16:24

Stop being such a pussy and get in there.

Reply

Prolux_fml | 23

#5524927 - Friday 7 June 2013 16:27

Any idea how OP would get into a stranger's apartment?

Reply

Catkam623 | 27

#5524929 - Friday 7 June 2013 16:29

A small window of opportunity?

By buckeyed | 20

#5524930 - Friday 7 June 2013 16:29

Guess it's time to break and enter.