Animals: Today, I could no longer handle the drum music in the apartment... - FML

07/06/2013 05:48 - United States

Today, I could no longer handle the drum music in the apartment below me so I went to kindly ask the little old lady to shut it off before she goes to bed. Her neighbor came out while I knocked to tell me she is out of town and the music is constant so her cats don't get lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 157

You deserved it 3 336

anew27 tells us more.

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 20:28

OP here, if it was Ted Nugent I was partaking of, I would kindly ask her to turn it up.

Commando

Taking stock

Nice try

02/06/2011 18:43 - United States

Today, I got to see my son's dream of being on television come true. Unfortunately, it was because he'd been arrested for trying to rob a bank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 035

You deserved it 5 928

31/01/2009 20:26 - United States

Today, I just went to the bathroom and someone thought I was a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 978

You deserved it 3 285

21/10/2009 04:07 - Singapore

Today, I told my girlfriend over MSN that we had to talk. I log on to facebook and the first thing I see is that she changed our relationship from "In a Relationship" to "It's Complicated." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 569

You deserved it 11 426

09/04/2013 23:09 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, my English teacher used the word "interpretate" again. This isn't the only mistake she's made though; I've been so frustrated that I've started a list of them. It's over a page long. I'm meant to be learning things from this woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 929

You deserved it 4 133

24/12/2016 20:14 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my step-mum told me that the Christmas dinner she is cooking tomorrow will cost £25 a head. I laughed because I thought she was joking. She wasn't. Now I'm spending Christmas alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 935

You deserved it 627

19/05/2019 06:11

Today, I woke up late for work. I rushed everything, ate a quick meal and was thirsty as hell. I saw a 2-liter Coca Cola bottle, so I poured a huge glass filled with ice and ran out the door. While driving, I took a huge gulp of nice, cold thick cooking oil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 769

You deserved it 833

22/01/2012 08:25 - United States

Today, I was kicked out of a comedy club for laughing too loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 038

You deserved it 7 955

25/06/2009 05:02 - United States

Today, while at football practice, my teammates and I were on water break. At the bus barn next to the field, a good-looking girl was washing a bus. Some of the guys started to yell pick-up lines at her from 50 yards away, and pretty soon I chime in. She turns around. It was my younger sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 171

You deserved it 73 367

21/12/2010 16:18 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my 14 year-old son sent a broadcast on my blackberry saying ''I'm a young gay man looking for some fun!'' to all my contacts as a joke. What he didn't know was that it's my work phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 755

You deserved it 5 631

Math ain't easy

By Anonymous - 13/08/2021 15:59 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, as I struggle with dyscalculia, I set up some counters so I could knit up a perfect square. Turns out the counters actually made it worse. I have three failed attempts and I'm stuck on number 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 59

06/09/2013 11:45 - United States - Gorham

Today, after 8 months of being belittled and treated like trash at my job as a prep cook in a high-end kitchen, I stood up for myself to the line cooks. Not only did everyone laugh at me, I got fired for causing a scene during service and insubordination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 870

You deserved it 9 653

23/10/2009 00:15 - United States

Today, I was sitting in my bed drinking Yoohoo from a juice box. I decided it would be fun to see how much I could fit in my mouth. As soon as my mouth was full, I sneezed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 699

You deserved it 41 511

06/10/2011 22:28 - Canada

Today, I was suspended from work. Some lady went to the manager and told them that I was stalking her, all because I would kindly greet her everyday at the grocery store. I'm the cashier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 859

You deserved it 2 160

07/01/2011 18:14 - United States

Today, I burned myself while cooking, so I asked my mom to get the burn cream while I waited in the kitchen. While I was waiting, I absentmindedly set my hand on the hot stove, earning myself a second burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 349

You deserved it 42 738

14/05/2010 04:33 - Canada

Today, after taking a pregnancy test and carefully disposing of all the evidence so no one would find out, I realized I left the receipt for it on the bathroom counter. I noticed too late as I watch my mom step out of the bathroom, and my step-father go in right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 071

You deserved it 32 280

19/12/2016 01:51 - United States - Bastrop

Today, I swung my arm with a product in my hand, and the product flew out of the packaging and hit an old lady on her head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 800

You deserved it 1 370

Never? NEVER?!

By Anonymous - 01/05/2020 08:00

Today, I had a fight with my grandma again with whom I've been living for 4 years due to college hostel being below par. She blamed me for destroying her kitchen equipment by extensively cooking, especially at night. I've never placed a foot inside her kitchen since the beginning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 490

You deserved it 140

31/07/2009 04:01 - Mexico

Today, my little 7 and 6 year old cousins came visit my family home. I heard the oldest one say that my sister was nice and pretty. Then the youngest replied "Yeah, but the older one has the face of a murderer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 917

You deserved it 3 848

06/05/2011 19:27 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 881

You deserved it 13 339

05/10/2012 05:49 - United States

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 535

You deserved it 2 360

Seize the means

By pygmyfrog - 10/12/2020 14:02

Today, I watched a supervisor in our workspace staple an underling's skirt to her shirt, as the supervisor didn't like her wearing a hip-level skirt, despite having no public contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 64

08/09/2009 17:29 - United States

Today, I woke up, took a shower, made some pasta, drank 3 glasses of water and brushed my teeth. I then left my apartment to see signs posted all over warning us not to use the water without boiling it because the water company just found E-coli in the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 802

You deserved it 4 284

13/09/2011 20:13 - United States

Today, as my girlfriend and I were on a romantic dinner for two, I tried pulling out the chair for her. She fell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 922

You deserved it 6 231

24/12/2012 19:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because I'm too "high maintenance" during the holidays. Not to worry, though; he's willing give me another chance sometime after Valentine's day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 920

You deserved it 6 271

The definition of irony

By Rastaa_Reyes - 16/05/2019 23:52

Today, I went to Wal-Mart with my mom. She kept telling me to put my keys away so I wouldn't lose them. After a few times, I got annoyed and yelled at her. When we got back to her house, I realized I'd lost my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 2 877

16/05/2011 22:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He said he would have done it two weeks ago but he needed someone to drive him around while his car was getting repaired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 203

You deserved it 4 417

18/04/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I was at the Apple Store taking random pictures of myself. I took one with a really stupid face. This girl passes by and says, "Wow, that's a cool effect! You look just like an alien!" I wasn't using any effects. It was a regular picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 982

You deserved it 10 954

06/06/2009 16:01 - United States

Today, I discovered my boyfriend of 5 months runs a website where men can submit nude or semi nude pictures of their ex's for revenge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 772

You deserved it 5 606

11/02/2011 03:21 - China

Today, I woke up to a repairman at my door who was simply supposed to turn my water back on in my apartment. Two hours and 5 repairmen later, all I have now is a large hole in my ceiling. Still no water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 727

You deserved it 2 356

24/05/2015 14:14 - United States - Berwyn

Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter had pooped in her diaper. Every time, I found nothing. I finally figured out the foul smell was my husband's breath, when he leaned into kiss me goodnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 209

You deserved it 2 568

04/12/2014 02:49 - United States - Chicago

Today, my boyfriend brought me to a restaurant on a surprise date. I guess he didn't know that my ex-boyfriend now works there, and that he would be our waiter for the evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 259

You deserved it 3 272

Denied

By Anonymous - 26/12/2020 07:58 - United States - Redmond

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend, who live 30 minutes away, asked me over late at night. When I got there, she turned me around and kicked me out because she "wasn’t feeling it." I’m 29 and still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 233

18/04/2014 22:07 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad at a tennis game. I could tell he despised me from the start, but it only got worse when I played him. He smashed the ball at me and I went to hit it, but I missed and fell over, tearing my arm up on the gravel. He had a smirk on his face for the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 355

You deserved it 4 215

16/03/2009 17:18 - Poland

Spicy

Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139 753

You deserved it 40 085

29/06/2012 22:46 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I was trying to put some new curtains up. I couldn't make sense of the instructions, so I decided to wing it. I spent a frustrating half hour fighting with it, and just seconds after I succeeded, the curtain rod gave way and slammed straight onto my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 898

You deserved it 18 429

09/01/2013 23:55 - United States

Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 355

You deserved it 6 291

20/05/2012 13:13 - United States - Sterling Heights

Today, my sister got married. It was also the day that I was supposed to deliver a heartfelt toast to the happy couple. I got so nervous that I kept stuttering and finally ended with "Congrats Beth and Steve!" Her husband's name is Eric. Her ex was named Steve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 187

You deserved it 10 125

28/03/2009 00:24 - Canada

Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 297

You deserved it 149 157

08/02/2012 05:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over to my parents' house for dinner. My dad made Holocaust jokes the entire time. My boyfriend is Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 671

You deserved it 4 630

07/09/2012 16:23 - United States - Mountain Iron

Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 569

You deserved it 3 419

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

perdix 29

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 16:15

Lonely? They have all those mice, birds and chipmunks to play with! Why did the old lady leave? Did she have a 20-minute one-sided argument with the cat and decide to leave for an extended time?

mpj13 8

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 16:16

Was it cat scratch fever playing?

Comments

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 16:13

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 16:19

*vicious

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 16:23

Pressure of being one of the first comments what can I say:(

fishstick557 14

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 16:41

Well it is illegal to break into someone's house and I doubt OP was going to

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 17:35

I would have gone in and lowered it at least. It is ridiculously easy to pick the locks in most apartments.

xx000o 27

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 18:16

Don't say anything.

RedPillSucks 31

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 19:38

You can always ask the apartment superintendent to go in and turn off the music. Or call the cops. There are noise ordinances.

perdix 29

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 16:15

Lonely? They have all those mice, birds and chipmunks to play with! Why did the old lady leave? Did she have a 20-minute one-sided argument with the cat and decide to leave for an extended time?

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 17:11

No, it was mortal kombat. The gram left the 20 cats alone to fight. The last cat alive wins grannys love.

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 17:12

made a comment but dont know how to delete it so Hi.

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 17:16

Granny was playing mortal kombat. Why? so the 20 cats could fight and the last one meowing gets granny's love.

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 17:18

FML you have 2min to edit. Forgive my multiple comments.

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 17:37

Don't worry, the more comments you make, the more chances we get to thumb you down.

mpj13 8

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 16:16

Was it cat scratch fever playing?

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 20:28

OP here, if it was Ted Nugent I was partaking of, I would kindly ask her to turn it up.

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 21:27

dude seriously how does she knows that her cats like music?

mr_sarcastic416 29

Send a private message

Sunday 9 June 2013 10:27

an old lady that put loud drumming music on?

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 16:17

Because everyone knows how much cats love drum music. Cats dream of one day becoming the great drummers of their ancestors. To one day hold those sticks on their furry feline hands and ROCK!. .. . ahem sorry the gods of rock were speaking through me

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 16:19

What can you say? Your neighbour's a crazy cat lady.

Zeke10 12

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 16:20

Atleast it's not Justin Bieber...

mikeymayhem_87 15

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 21:27

If it was Beiber playing... I think that would justify breaking and entering to be legal for the safety and well being of the community.

Send a private message

Monday 10 June 2013 8:54

Then it would be time to burn, burn, burn, that house down in a ring of fire, after getting the cats out by breaking and entering.

Send a private message

Thursday 28 January 2016 10:07

Yeah. You should burn the apartment directly below yours. That'll teach her!

AnthonyWheeler15 24

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 16:22

Cute...I think.

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 16:23

I don't know if the electrical breaker box is accessible to you but if it is just flip it off that should solve your problem.

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 17:40

If OP does so, I hope there's nothing in the fridge/freezer if it's on the same circuit.

ChibiChibi_fml 27

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 18:01

Or God forbid an electric cat feeder be what's keeping the cat eating day to day.

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 21:27

I didn't say it was the nicest thing to do but it'll work at least.

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 16:24

Stop being such a pussy and get in there.

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 16:27

Any idea how OP would get into a stranger's apartment?

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 16:29

A small window of opportunity?

Send a private message

Friday 7 June 2013 16:29

Guess it's time to break and enter.

Nearly

Today, I have to do a science presentation in approximately 10 minutes. I didn’t do the assignment or make a PowerPoint cause I stayed up all night trying to do my French homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 7

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I’d been bicurious for years but always much too shy to seek out a woman to attempt intimacy. Well, I finally hooked up with a girl I’ve had a crush on for a while. Not only was it an amazing, mind-blowing experience, she also left me with a crotch searing yeast infection from hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 217

Today, for the first time I had to lie to the man I intend to marry, because I had a very intense and hot dream about Leslie Nielsen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 157