Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I got in an argument with my wife. I told her that I feel like she immediately disagrees with anything I say. She immediately disagreed and said she never does that. FML
Today, after an argument, my wife goes out to cook her curly fries in our airfryer. The thing beeps after 15 minutes; my wife goes out and announces, "Oh that's great." "What's up babes?" says I. "I put the fries in the wrong compartment. It's all your fault, you wound me up earlier." she says. FML
Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
Today, I got home and my wife asked me why I hadn’t taken the bin out or cleaned the living room. I asked her why she hadn’t done it since she got fired 6 months ago for laziness and since then has sat on her ass watching daytime TV instead of job searching. She threw a mug at my face. FML
Today, my wife picked a fight with a guy twice my size, then expected me to “man up and teach the bitch a lesson.” I’m not insane so I of course refused to fight, then she locked me out of the house for embarrassing her in front of her sisters. I want a frisking divorce. FML
Today, I asked my wife for a kiss. She snarled, "I'm your WIFE, just fucking kiss me! You don't have to ask!" Later, I went in for a kiss and she slapped me, then yelled that it was my fault for "getting in her face." FML
Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML
Today, as soon as I got home, my husband said he was hungry and that I needed to cook. I flipped my shit and yelled at him for a good half hour. Later, he pulled out his phone and showed me videos of me doing the exact thing to him, asking him to do things the second he walked in the door. FML
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
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Top comments
influenza54 1
Tooo bad it wasn't an iron skillet. LOL he deserves it
IdolChatter 0
Yeah, his command was an act of genius & worked out so well didn't it. He's lucky she didn't come back with a butcher's knife.
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Comments (394)
Jlynnrocks 3
Wow, you know my parents had that exact same scene about three months before they decided to divorce.
DameGreyWulf 1
I hate to break it to you, but when you're having an argument with your spouse, making sexist remarks isn't the smartest thing. Personally it sounds to me like you were trying to a jackass on purpose in some way to make things unserious, but you chose the wrong jackass statement to make. Shoulda said something she would laugh at or couldn't counter. Like, I dunno, something about Jews, or her mother, or something... Something she would realize you were just being stupid about. May piss her off more, but it usually is the kind that results in "HMPH!"-stomp-off reaction.
BeastieKnights 0
Never tell your wife to go back into the kitchen for 2 reasons: 1: it's just plain sexist. 2: She'll probably find a blunt object to smack you in the head, gut or groin with. Here's an example: meat cleaver+groin=neutering
waterynuggets 0
What she did was extremely WRONG, but if this is one isolated incident, it does not make one an abuser.
kezzstar 0
FYL Waste of a good frying pan. And my boyfriend and I play wrestle all the time, but I would NEVER hit him with a frying pan! There are much more effective ways to tell a guy you are pissed off (unplugging his Xbox and hiding the power cord, withholding sex etc etc)
FarSide 23
An ambulance might have carried me away to the hospital ER, but F.T. Blount's Funeral Home would have carried her dead ass away.
kristidgranger 3
first off I am sorry for all u who hate Jesus but we get along great so yeah he didn't lie! and what does this have to do with this story! just an excuse to slander his name! he is great. and as for the post... well that does sound like he told her in a sexiest way to try and set her in her place! so i think he might think twice next time huh!
blacklite69 0
YDI for being a misogynistic asshole. I really hope her next move was to LEAVE and not come back. *******.
BustedBalls 0
Funny? Hell Yeah, This would be more awesome if it was true, your an aussie mate this joke is a national favorite
mike1921 0
Over one comment? .....Lower your ******* standards.
GreenHacker 0
I hope someday when you get married (if you ever do) you say something sexist to your husband and he smacks the shit out of you for it. Then I hope you call domestic abuse and their reply is "You deserve it".
Whatsername515 0
"Men don't deserve this, because they are not permanently biologically bound to the belief that women should be oppressed. Most men think that women should express standard rights..." What a cute imagination you have. Do ALL men think the same way? No way. Are there still men (and a fair good amount, I should add) that think women were, are and always will be inferior to them? Absolutely. Are there still men that feel women should not be able to express any rights? Yes. To the OP: I think what you said was horribly sexist and uncalled for? Yes, absolutely! What time period do you live in where you think making a remark like that is acceptable? Do I feel you deserve to be hit with a frying pan? No...a witty remark would have sufficed and maybe having oven mitts should have been thrown at you (lol). To the poster of the comment I was originally replying to: Thank you for using proper spelling and grammar. It made (parts of) your argument valid and caught the attention of other FMLers.