Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got in an argument with my wife. I told her that I feel like she immediately disagrees with anything I say. She immediately disagreed and said she never does that. FML
Today, after an argument, my wife goes out to cook her curly fries in our airfryer. The thing beeps after 15 minutes; my wife goes out and announces, "Oh that's great." "What's up babes?" says I. "I put the fries in the wrong compartment. It's all your fault, you wound me up earlier." she says. FML
Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
Today, I got home and my wife asked me why I hadn’t taken the bin out or cleaned the living room. I asked her why she hadn’t done it since she got fired 6 months ago for laziness and since then has sat on her ass watching daytime TV instead of job searching. She threw a mug at my face. FML
Today, my wife picked a fight with a guy twice my size, then expected me to “man up and teach the bitch a lesson.” I’m not insane so I of course refused to fight, then she locked me out of the house for embarrassing her in front of her sisters. I want a frisking divorce. FML
Today, I asked my wife for a kiss. She snarled, "I'm your WIFE, just fucking kiss me! You don't have to ask!" Later, I went in for a kiss and she slapped me, then yelled that it was my fault for "getting in her face." FML
Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML
Today, as soon as I got home, my husband said he was hungry and that I needed to cook. I flipped my shit and yelled at him for a good half hour. Later, he pulled out his phone and showed me videos of me doing the exact thing to him, asking him to do things the second he walked in the door. FML
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
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Top comments
influenza54 1
Tooo bad it wasn't an iron skillet. LOL he deserves it
IdolChatter 0
Yeah, his command was an act of genius & worked out so well didn't it. He's lucky she didn't come back with a butcher's knife.
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Comments (394)
sittingalone 0
don't let her get you down, she shouldn't have left the kitchen in the first place
moonlight_daze 8
LULZ! LULZ! LULZ! And more lulz to come...
HotSauce_fml 0
Stupid women these days. She shouldve made you some bacon and eggs on that frying pan.
YoYoYo20_21_22 2
Hey look- a loser. Shut the **** up you single loser.
Hanner11 0
Totally deserved.
darkmis1 18
YTDI you sexist creep!
skyeyez9 25
Don't ever say that to your wife or gf! Not every woman will end up hitting you with a frying pan, but females are experts at passive aggressive behavior and we will get revenge: putting dead flies in your spaghetti sauce, posting an embarassing pic of you online, place a scorpion in your shoe, dump "liquid heet" muscle reliever in your underwear....etc
mike1921 0
You have some crazy Exes
fckaduck 0
I'm so glad this happened. Good for her.
Tria 0
Poetic justice. You completely deserved that.
blastvortex 4
Be thankful it wasn't the microwave. =p
UnitedNinjas 0
Now I'm not a feminist, but that was just plain sexist you male chauvinist pig. I'm glad she hit you with that pan, YDI 100%. Think about the consequences of your words next time, instead of talking out of your ass.
GreenHacker 0
Now I'm not a male chauvinistic pig, but I hope someday when you get married (if you ever do) you say something sexist to your husband and he smacks the shit out of you for it. Then I hope you call domestic abuse and their reply is "You deserve it".
GreenHacker 0
lol, not until I'm sure I've made my point. I refuse to stand by while little girls pose as feminists and actually do more damage to their cause than good because they choose to ignore the domestic abuse issue here. I can guarantee if I posed as a female and made an FML stating "today I made a sexist remark to my husband and he slapped me", every single girl here who said the guy deserved it for the sexist statement would start arguing what a terrible human being the guy was for slapping his wife. If you honestly can't see how the wife responded poorly in this FML (which I know you can't because of your comment as #242), then you're no better than all the other feminist posers here.
Turnip_Girl 0
If you meant it, you suck. If you said it as a joke, your wife needs to lighten up.