Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got in an argument with my wife. I told her that I feel like she immediately disagrees with anything I say. She immediately disagreed and said she never does that. FML
Today, after an argument, my wife goes out to cook her curly fries in our airfryer. The thing beeps after 15 minutes; my wife goes out and announces, "Oh that's great." "What's up babes?" says I. "I put the fries in the wrong compartment. It's all your fault, you wound me up earlier." she says. FML
Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
Today, I got home and my wife asked me why I hadn’t taken the bin out or cleaned the living room. I asked her why she hadn’t done it since she got fired 6 months ago for laziness and since then has sat on her ass watching daytime TV instead of job searching. She threw a mug at my face. FML
Today, my wife picked a fight with a guy twice my size, then expected me to “man up and teach the bitch a lesson.” I’m not insane so I of course refused to fight, then she locked me out of the house for embarrassing her in front of her sisters. I want a frisking divorce. FML
Today, I asked my wife for a kiss. She snarled, "I'm your WIFE, just fucking kiss me! You don't have to ask!" Later, I went in for a kiss and she slapped me, then yelled that it was my fault for "getting in her face." FML
Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML
Today, as soon as I got home, my husband said he was hungry and that I needed to cook. I flipped my shit and yelled at him for a good half hour. Later, he pulled out his phone and showed me videos of me doing the exact thing to him, asking him to do things the second he walked in the door. FML
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
influenza54 1
Tooo bad it wasn't an iron skillet. LOL he deserves it
IdolChatter 0
Yeah, his command was an act of genius & worked out so well didn't it. He's lucky she didn't come back with a butcher's knife.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (394)
phenistae 0
It's not what you say, its how you say it. If you were trying to be funny then great, i don't have a problem with you. if you were trying to be mean then you definately deserved it. Show the ladies some respect and you'll get it back. and regardless of whether or not you meant it, i love your wife right now!
Flounder 2
1950s misogynistic sacks of bullshit like you are the exact reason why I'm not proud to be Australian
tothelimit 0
The sexist comment move is never an appropriate one, even in an arguement. Not saying that you are normally sexist, or that it wasn't inappropriate for your wife to get physical about it, but you were stupid to even pull that on your wife.
TotalPandamonium 2
I can't say I'd have taken a frying pan after him, but I'd have definitely told him to go **** himself. I'd probably go somewhere to cool off and let him think about the idiot he's being before I came back. Acting like an idiot is no excuse to him some one with a frying pan. Though with my temper I can't say I wouldn't be tempted to break some things in the kitchen before I left.
Perry85 42
Maybe hit him with a spatula? lol
giratina16 0
ha you deserved it you fanny never disrespect a woman
Amystika 0
Guys, lighten up. I'm a girl and I think this is funny. xD sorry about the frying pan /b/ro
FaithX 0
Your wife is WIN
growingupnextmon 3
Your not proud to be Australian?
ProtoBuster_1 5
OP, what the hell were you thinking? YCDI for that!
lonukn65ez 0
YDI. Sounds like karma for being a douchebag.