Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I got in an argument with my wife. I told her that I feel like she immediately disagrees with anything I say. She immediately disagreed and said she never does that. FML
Today, after an argument, my wife goes out to cook her curly fries in our airfryer. The thing beeps after 15 minutes; my wife goes out and announces, "Oh that's great." "What's up babes?" says I. "I put the fries in the wrong compartment. It's all your fault, you wound me up earlier." she says. FML
Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
Today, I got home and my wife asked me why I hadn’t taken the bin out or cleaned the living room. I asked her why she hadn’t done it since she got fired 6 months ago for laziness and since then has sat on her ass watching daytime TV instead of job searching. She threw a mug at my face. FML
Today, my wife picked a fight with a guy twice my size, then expected me to “man up and teach the bitch a lesson.” I’m not insane so I of course refused to fight, then she locked me out of the house for embarrassing her in front of her sisters. I want a frisking divorce. FML
Today, I asked my wife for a kiss. She snarled, "I'm your WIFE, just fucking kiss me! You don't have to ask!" Later, I went in for a kiss and she slapped me, then yelled that it was my fault for "getting in her face." FML
Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML
Today, as soon as I got home, my husband said he was hungry and that I needed to cook. I flipped my shit and yelled at him for a good half hour. Later, he pulled out his phone and showed me videos of me doing the exact thing to him, asking him to do things the second he walked in the door. FML
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
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Top comments
influenza54 1
Tooo bad it wasn't an iron skillet. LOL he deserves it
IdolChatter 0
Yeah, his command was an act of genius & worked out so well didn't it. He's lucky she didn't come back with a butcher's knife.
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Comments (394)
Batman1887 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. She wins.
oystercultviking 0
What the hell is it with this new "women belong in the kitchen" resurgence? And why is everyone so offended? We all know it's not going to happen. Like ever. To any self-respecting woman, at least. :] I think it's a brainwashing technique by the government to get dangerous women out of business affairs. Because we all know women are better. It's just a fact. Sorry, the Man.
Bassline 0
I love you.
Witchcraft_fml 5
I hope it hurt. :]
Fresh2death2021 0
Way to lay the smackdown dude, and who the **** is writing auto biographies??? That's so annoying
doggie3 0
I hope it hurt. Like hell.
South_Park_Shay 0
You sexist bastard.
GreenHacker 0
Way to be sexist yourself. You think because of that comment it verifies the domestic abuse? Imagine if the girl said something sexist to the guy, and he responded by slapping her. The guy would be arrested in minutes for domestic abuse and shunned by everyone in society. People like you give womankind a bad name.
TysonFawlay 0
He said something sexist, she assaulted him with a weapon. I'll call you ugly, South_Park_Shay, and even if you kill me, you'll still be really ugly and disgusting. :)
CaptainBlake 0
You're an idiot, but you didn't deserve to be hit in the face with a pan. File domestic abuse charges, and teach her a lesson. You're still an idiot, though.
oogyboogy 6
I Cinda gree with some of you the commet deserved something but a fryin pan is to much it's fine to say jokig around with our freinds but you can't say it to your wife