Today, I had a mini heart attack as my dad stopped in the middle of the street and said, "I wonder what'd happen if I just dropped my pants right now and started jerking it in front of all these motherfuckers." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got lost in a car park, late at night, unable to find my car. I started panicking, so I called my dad. I sat down to catch my breath. After about 2 minutes, I heard a noise. I looked up to see a guy jerking off while watching me. He smiled, so I instinctively threw my backpack at his junk and he ran off. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML
Today, I decided to watch some porn to cheer myself up after having recently been dumped. Halfway through wanking the gibbon, I got a horrifyingly painful cramp in my foot, and cried out in pain. Ten seconds later, with my pants still down, my dad rushed in to see if I was okay. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML
Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML
Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML
Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML
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Top comments
drayloon 50
He'd likely get arrested and charged with indecent exposure. What else would he expect?
Scorpio1691 29
i would actually have dared him to do it
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Comments (59)
captainsmegma 12
Eventually daddy, you will ****** and there will be a load of cum for these motherfuckers to enjoy.
csi_fml 19
Let's see, possibly arrested for indecent exposure and many other charges he won't want
noellebelle626 19
You my dear have a cool dad
rydersmomma16 21
What the hell??? Wow op, so sorry you had to even hear that thought come out of your dads mouth. I can only imagine the mental picture that must've been invoked from that comment.
sboghani 9
for some reason I read that in a southern accent
Ray_of_midnight 23
How old is your dad? Any chance that this is a sign of incipient dementia?
RingKaKing91 10
He was just jerking your heart strings.
Quicky5_ 16
I feel like there are many other stories I would love to hear about your dad!
crackfetus420 12
You have a cool dad
UniversalWolf 16
Umm, I'm sorry, but...... What?