Today, I had a mini heart attack as my dad stopped in the middle of the street and said, "I wonder what'd happen if I just dropped my pants right now and started jerking it in front of all these motherfuckers." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got lost in a car park, late at night, unable to find my car. I started panicking, so I called my dad. I sat down to catch my breath. After about 2 minutes, I heard a noise. I looked up to see a guy jerking off while watching me. He smiled, so I instinctively threw my backpack at his junk and he ran off. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML
Today, I decided to watch some porn to cheer myself up after having recently been dumped. Halfway through wanking the gibbon, I got a horrifyingly painful cramp in my foot, and cried out in pain. Ten seconds later, with my pants still down, my dad rushed in to see if I was okay. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML
Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML
Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML
Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML
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Top comments
drayloon 50
He'd likely get arrested and charged with indecent exposure. What else would he expect?
Scorpio1691 29
i would actually have dared him to do it
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Comments (59)
ThunderLightTSV 31
Probably not bat an eye if they're all having sex with their mothers anyways
mckenz1eq 20
OH MY GOD THIS IS SO FUNNY
IWillEatYouAlive 16
Curiouser and curiouser...
Jashie 18
It's always weird seeing these when it's about people from your state, like what if I saw them? What if he had actually done it. Who were there to see it. It's a weird feeling
ThrottleJockey 36
He'd likely end up with a neat little arrow above his house when looked up online. He'd also probably have his name entered into a not so illustrious list of a cruel l certain type of offenders.
manuwish 9
why fyl op? your dad sounds like a really funny guy, I'd be peeing my pants at that kind of joke ;)
Britt125 16
But, what would happen? Did he find out? I mean I'd expect it to involve getting arrested... but... still. I need to know.
locustbb 9
"I bet you won't!" should of been the next words out of your mouth. That or you could be a snitch and tell mom...
r00dmutherfucker 10
this is something my dad would do tbh
tonyfan00 38
You mean he's jerk off in traffic...?
trucker2 33
GET ER DONE