Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I dreamed that I cheated on my boyfriend. I was so overwhelmed with guilt that I called him while half-asleep to tell him about it and apologize. I'm fully awake now and he doesn't believe it was really a dream. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML
Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML
Today, I was putting the cat outside. He wouldn't go, so I kicked him. Then I woke up to my husband screaming. I’d been dreaming, and the "cat" I kicked was his family jewels. FML
Today, I had a dream where I was fighting a robber who had broken into my house. I was throwing a lot of kicks in the dream, and this apparently resulted in me kicking my feet in real life as well. I figured this out when my cat started attacking my feet, abruptly waking me up at 2AM. FML
Today, I got woken up and kicked out of bed. Apparently if I cheat in her dreams it still counts. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, my boyfriend had a bad dream that a horse was biting his fingers off. He punched the horse in the neck, and in real life punched me in the spine. Twice. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML
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Top comments
AnalAssassin1 14
Laughed more than I should..
nerderer 13
I guess you were kicking two moon balls, not just one.
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Comments (43)
Joshwarrior 39
Loved your wording one of the few that actually made me laugh (: if I was him I'd make a pillow wall from now on.
kerstileann 26
or just buy a big body pillow instead of using a bunch of pillows. body pillows are so comfortable :)
Joshwarrior 39
But if it's a body pillow she'll probably big it, loop her leg over it and still kick him haha but yes body pillows are nice.
kerstileann 26
hahaha she'd have some determination for that. "accident" sure sure
Joshwarrior 39
Hug it * fail on my part lol and hmm you never know maybe her subconscious had built up frustration (:
ckerane 16
I think you alot of kissing and making up to do :)
keiNan_fml 35
what's the score now??
Emzinatorbot 26
Don't make me laugh so hard. I have pneumonia and laughing hurts!
PennyLane27 32
"Goodnight moon... " heheh
Stryker_13 19
Guess you made the goal lml xD but what was the ball? :x
worldclassrager 41
And the final kick breaks sudden death OP wins!
vikky538 29
what would be FML version from your boy friend ..?
tingtingmeg 12
reading that made my day. laughed so hard I feel out of my chair.
Inkay 13
I have never laughed so hard at an FML. Thank you, OP.