Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up because I really had to pee. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and went back to bed. Or so I thought. I did pee, but I only dreamed that I got out of bed. FML
Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML
Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away, and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML
Today, I dreamed that I got so nervous during a toast at my friend's wedding that I pissed myself. To coax myself to wake up, I took off my dress, stripped down to my underwear, and pinched myself. I wasn't dreaming. FML
Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML
Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was throwing up. Turns out it wasn’t a dream and I woke up to puke all over the bed. FML
Today, I dreamt that I was using the toilet. The toilet was a dream, but the rest wasn't. My pants were soaked. FML
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Top comments
xXSweetNightmare 0
haha, wow
Goaliebeast 0
you fail
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Comments (229)
2hoesNaBagel 0
if you only knew how boring this damn tour bus is..
autumn16 0
my pleasure (: and haha yeaa if only you knew how boring it is at my house right now hah
2hoesNaBagel 0
haha I'm sorry to hear that, so are you a fan of our music?
FlavouredJucoozi 3
Hey Chelsea!
autumn16 0
what music?? sorry if that a dumb question
CAhereIcome 0
agreed. i havent done that since i was like four
perdix 31
If you ever get the urge to do it again, I'm your guy ;)
sammiller4 3
I'm sure it's just as boring as my house lol so I stick to xbox
lavaga 0
oh I'm faaarrr from hating!! just checking, you can never be too sure of anything. and if it really us you oli. well you sir kick ass
2hoesNaBagel 0
no it's fine haha I'm the singer in a band called bring me the horizon
autumn16 0
I got ps3 it's all I use lol XD